Beyond These Walls (The Walls Duet #2)(47)

I rolled my eyes and hopped off the table, giving a slight smile. She escorted me to the restroom and told me where to put everything when I finished.

After a few minutes and several silent curses, I was done and waiting back in the exam room. I stared at the pictures on the walls, the cartoon-like sketches of hearts and valves, as my own hand reached up to feel the rhythmic beat in my chest. The buzz from the lights became almost hypnotic as I sat there, picking at the leftover nail polish I’d worn for New Year’s, a sparkly gold color I’d thought looked festive and bright. A chip fell to the floor, a stark contrast to the dull gray linoleum tile below my feet.

Hours, days even, seemed to float by as I waited. I’d been in this exam room countless times, but it had never seemed this endless. The fear I’d felt when I’d walked through those double doors of the hospital resurfaced. I had this undeniable worry that something was about to happen, something I couldn’t control.

The knock on the door caused all the breath in my lungs to falter, and I breathed in, gulping for air, as Dr. Hough entered.

“Hi, Lailah,” he greeted, holding out his arms for our usual greeting.

I returned the gesture, hugging him wordlessly, as I tried to regain my composure.

“How are you?” I asked, my voice still slightly hoarse from my startle. “Did you have a nice holiday season?”

“Oh, yes, very nice,” he answered rather quickly, taking a seat across from me. His eyes looked heavy, filled with emotions I had yet to sort out.

“You don’t have the flu,” he simply said, “but we did find something else rather interesting.”

Oh God, here it comes—I’m dying.

“You’re pregnant.”

“That’s impossible,” the words flew out of my mouth before I even had a chance to realize I’d spoken.

He leaned forward, folding his hands together, as his gaze became intense. “Well, no, actually, since you’re sexually active. Surprising maybe, but impossible? No.”

My head began shaking from side to side as I rejected his news.

“But how?” I asked.

“Well, the how I can’t really answer, which is why I’m having Irene take you over to obstetrics. They’re going to give you an exam and an ultrasound to be sure.”

“Irene?”

“My nurse,” he answered kindly.

“Right.”

I sat there in silence, looking down at my wedding ring, a ring I’d worn for barely a month.

“I’m pregnant?” I asked before adding, “Can I survive a pregnancy?”

“I guess the question is, do you want to find out?”

And there it was—my life-altering moment.

I’D BEEN IN meetings all morning, thanks to Roman.

Every free moment I had, I found myself glancing down to check my phone, but Lailah hadn’t sent me anything—not a text, email, or even a voice mail—to let me know how the doctor’s appointment had gone.

Is she still there?

Finally, I managed to step out, canceling my lunch meeting, and I left for the day. I was useless to everyone in that office like this. I couldn’t think straight, and I definitely wasn’t getting anything done.

Not knowing what had transpired with Lailah was driving me crazy.

I tried her cell again on my way down to the lobby, but she didn’t pick up.

Damn it all to hell.

Flagging down a cab, I made it back to our apartment rather quickly, deciding to check there first. Showing up at the hospital would be my next step. The elevator was like a slow crawl, moving up the building at a snail’s pace, as I tapped my foot restlessly, waiting for our floor to ding. The doors finally opened, and I sped down the hallway, pulling out my keys, ready to unlock the door.

As soon as I bolted into the apartment, I saw her sitting on the sofa, her face turned toward the giant window that overlooked the city.

The blank look on her face stopped me cold.

“Lailah,” I called out.

She turned to me with a sudden mixture of emotions moving across her features, kicking my feet into gear.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” I knelt by her side, touching her everywhere.

Her shoulders, her heart, were solid and strong. She felt healthy and safe, but her demeanor was saying the exact opposite. It gave me chills.

“I went to the doctor,” she started.

“I know. I’ve been trying to reach you all morning.”

“I don’t have the flu.”

“Okay,” I said, pulling a chair toward her and taking a seat. I gripped her hands in mine, willing her to say the words, to tell me what was going on.

Her eyes met mine, and she smiled. “I’m pregnant, Jude.”

That finely tuned tightrope I’d been walking since the day she came back into my life—the one I’d kept taking slow, steady steps on each and every time her doctor had told us she was doing great and her heart was healthy—suddenly snapped beneath me.

I felt my stomach hit the floor. My ears rang violently in my head as if my mind was rejecting the very idea because it couldn’t possibly be true.

“No,” I replied softly. “No,” I said again, shaking my head.

“I saw the baby.”

From under a blanket, she produced a tiny black-and-white photo. Her name was typed neatly at the top with today’s date. Positioned in the center was a tiny black dot. It didn’t look like much, but I remembered my secretary had shown me one of her daughter’s first ultrasounds, and it looked similar, maybe slightly bigger.