Awake at Dawn (Shadow Falls #2)(40)

Kylie shook her head. "Just a sense of rightness."

"Then you have to have faith that you're doing all you can," Holiday said.

Kylie suddenly remembered. "You told me you hadn't ever seen a death angel."

"I haven't," Holiday said.

"But you said you weren't even sure they were real."

"I don't think the version of the legends that everyone believes is real," Holiday said.

"Then what makes the falls so ... special?"

Holiday hesitated as if trying to find the right words. "I think it's a holy place. I think the Big Cheese running everything up there in the heavens created it for those of us who have to deal with spirits. It's a place we can find some peace. And sometimes even answers."

"Like a church?" Kylie asked, recalling the reverence she'd felt there. "Yeah, sort of like a church. There's a lot of spiritual power there. You felt it, right?" Holiday placed her hand over Kylie's.

Kylie pulled her hand back. "Yeah. But ... why didn't you tell me? I asked you about the falls and you didn't say anything. I mean, I could have ... I could have been going there all along. Maybe I would have figured out more what the ghost is trying to tell me by now."

Holiday dropped her hands on the desk, and empathy filled her green eyes. "You don't tell someone about the falls, Kylie. The falls has to call you to it. And I'm assuming it called you or you wouldn't have gone there."

Kylie couldn't deny she had felt the calling to go. Yet she still resented the fact that she had to figure everything out herself. What was wrong with a little direction, a little helping hand?

"I'm somewhat shocked that Burnett went there," Holiday said. "The only supernaturals who get called to the falls are those with ghostwhispering powers. The other supernaturals find it too emotionally stimulating ... or I guess I could call it intimidating."

Kylie recalled how Della and Miranda had reacted. Yeah, intimidating was about right.

"Even Sky wouldn't go there." Holiday looked up at Kylie. "Did Burnett actually go behind the falls?"

"He was there when I went in." She hesitated. "He went there because of you," Kylie said, using this as her opening. If she didn't take it now, she might back out. Then her breach of confidence would be even worse.

"Me?"

"He wanted to understand you better. And I think he thought if he ... could understand the whole ghost thing, then-"

"He said that?" Surprise widened Holiday's eyes.

"Yeah." Kylie hesitated and then just blurted it out. "I told him that you had your heart broken by another vampire. That it was why you ... don't want to get involved with him."

Holiday's brow furrowed instantly and her eyes grew tight. It wasn't a look Kylie noted on Holiday's face very often. "You told him what?"

"I know I shouldn't have done it. But ... he asked and at first I didn't tell him, but-"

"Why would he ... No, why would you tell him anything?"

"He really likes you, Holiday."

"How he feels doesn't matter. I didn't share that with you to tell anyone else." She stopped talking, but the frustration flared in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I am. And I know it was wrong, but I think ... I mean, it's almost as if you're letting what your fiance did to you stop you from seeing the possibilities with Burnett. You're punishing him for something that he didn't do."

Holiday's expression didn't soften. She swallowed a deep breath. "Kylie, what happens between Burnett and me isn't..." She closed her mouth and the muscles in her jaw clenched. "Why don't we stop this talk right now and we'll take this up later. I need some time."

Kylie felt a huge hole open up in her chest. "Please don't ... don't be mad at me."

Holiday held up her hand. "I'm not exactly mad. I'm ... disappointed."

"That's even worse," Kylie said, and her chest grew tighter. "Really, I'm sorry."

Holiday stood up and motioned for the door. "I'll see you tomorrow." Tears prickled Kylie's eyes, and more than anything she wanted to argue, to beg Holiday to forgive her. To plead with her not to let her slip-up change the relationship they'd found. But something deep inside told Kylie it could be too late.

At almost nine that night Kylie lay in her bed staring at the ceiling with a dad-blasted skunk sharing her pillow. She'd opted out of going down to the dining hall and participating in pizza and basketball night. Burnett had put up a basketball court and all the guys had formed teams. With as little sleep as she'd gotten these last few days, you'd think she'd have been out like a blown bulb. Not.

She cut her eyes to the drawer where she'd placed Lucas's letter and for a flicker of a second her mind switched from her Holiday problems to her Lucas problems, and then it went to her Derek problems. Next her mind came against the idea of being werewolf. Oh, joy!

When her mind slapped against the whole issue of someone she loved being in danger, Kylie instantly recalled the feeling she'd gotten from the falls, that if she stayed on course, at least that problem would be okay. Too bad all her other issues didn't seem so manageable.

The ring of her phone brought a moan to her lips-not that she couldn't use a mental break from juggling her problems. And maybe if she was lucky, it was Sara, finally calling her back. Sure they weren't as close as they once had been, but she still cared about Sara, and she'd been thinking about her a lot lately. But was she up to talking with her former best friend?