Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding #1)(98)

She did, but could she tell him that? Should she tell him that? After everything she had told Bekah today and what she had gone through for him everyday since they had met, of course she knew what he was talking about. When he could look at her across a sea of people and just know what the other was thinking. The way he peered deep into her soul and somehow still accepted her despite her inadequacies. The fact that he even saw her inadequacies was amazing to her. Yet, he had been there. She had been his constant all along. What Bekah had been saying suddenly clicked in Lexi's mind.

She was the reason for all of this.

And that realization in itself pushed Lexi to nod her head in agreement. "I know exactly what you mean."

His head came up and somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind something clicked inside of him as well. He scooped her up out of the chair and crushed his lips to hers. She paused momentarily frozen in place before allowing him to ease his mouth back down onto her. He kicked the chair out of his way and pushed her body back against the wall. Tilting his head sideways, he kissed deeper into her mouth feeling around with his tongue for every vantage point. She moaned as his hands grabbed at her waist and hips. His mouth moved away from her lips to feel his lips against her earlobe, neck, and collarbone taking in as much of her as he could. He returned to her mouth when she clawed at his back begging to taste him again. It had been nearly two years since they had last kissed, but the way they moved together made it seem that it was only yesterday. He could still remember every delicate curve of her body from memory and she continued to revel in the feel of his skin against hers finally once again.

She wanted him so bad in that moment, but not like this. She wanted him as hers. She wanted him to be her own. No longer could she play the game of sharing him with another living being. If he was to have her and all of her as she desired, she needed the same. She needed him to only belong to her. And she could wait to have him if that was what that meant.

"I'm sorry," he said pulling back softly as he noticed her desire wane. "I'm sorry again and again. I couldn't control myself." His hand came up softly to her face and cupped her cheek. "You're so beautiful."

"I'm sorry too. We shouldn't be in this position again. I want us to be…us," she finally admitted to him. "I want you to be mine."

He nodded. "I know. I know what you mean."

"And I'm okay holding off until you are mine, Jack." He nodded again. "I just need to know if that is a reality for us one day or if I'm just wasting my time on you."

He thumb caressed her cheek affectionately as the time stretched between them. "I don't think you're wasting your time. When I'm with you, I know I'm not wasting my time."

Lexi nodded letting a smile touch the edges of her mouth. "Oh Jack," she sighed happily planting another kiss on his mouth. She hadn't felt this euphoric in nearly two years. Something about him always brought out the best feelings in her. And now it looked like things were actually going to work out for them, and they were going to do it the right way.

They let the night recede into morning as they stayed up together sharing stories and remembering what it was like to be in love. The easy flirtatiousness that they had always shared was dampened by the impending emotions that were sure to come forth once they got everything worked out. Instead, they enjoyed each other's company along with the rest of the bottle of wine until the candles died out and they both fell asleep.

* * *

K.A. Linde

Gummi Bears

That maybe it's true

That I can't live without you

And maybe two is better than one

But there's so much time

To figure out the rest of my life

And you've already got me coming undone

And I'm thinking two is better than one

-Boys Like Girls & Taylor Swift "Two Is Better Than One"

* * *

Chapter 16: November One and A Half Years Earlier

"Are you sure we have to have this sleepover at your place?" Chyna asked eyeing the dorm hallway reproachfully. "You do know I own a penthouse overlooking Central Park right?"

Lexi rolled her eyes dramatically. "Yes, I've been there before. It's beautiful, but you can't get the college experience in a penthouse."

"I take it back," she said looking at a particularly large brown stain on one wall, "I don't want to know what its like to be in college. That's why I didn't go. I've been dating college guys since I was fifteen. If I've managed to avoid a dorm room for five years, then I'm not meant to be in one. Really, I'm peachy keen chica."

"You're not getting out of this that easy," Lexi growled snatching a hold of one of Chyna's delicate wrists and yanking her further down the hallway. "And anyway how did you get away with that?"

"With what?" she asked innocently.

"Dating college guys."

"My penthouse was my sweet sixteen present. Happy Birthday princess! We're getting divorced. Move out," she said giggling sardonically. "It really was the best thing they could do for me since I didn't have access to my trust and couldn't purchase it myself."

Lexi had gotten used to this loathing hateful attitude Chyna displayed towards her parents. It was pretty common place. Lexi tried not to broach the subject too often since she had no experience in what Chyna was going through. Her parents, after all, were still happily married after nearly thirty years together. It truly saddened Lexi that Chyna's perception of relationships was so warped due to her parents. The fact that it hadn't completely jaded her towards all human interaction was a miracle in and of itself. "Well now that you have access why don't you get rid of it?" she asked. Though, she couldn't blame her for holding onto the beautiful apartment.