Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding #1)(137)

"Jack that was…amazing," she whispered into the night air. She brushed her sweaty curls off away from her face. She watched as he wiped his hand across his forehead taking the thin layer of sweat with it.

"Yeah it was," he said walking towards the door. "But I have to go."

"That's it?" she asked her voice wavering uncertainly.

"What? That wasn't good enough for you?" he asked his voice echoing a hint of humor into every syllable.

"That's not what I mean."

"This doesn't change anything Lex," he said turning to face her but staying a good distance away from her as if he couldn't control himself not to take her again.

By the way he said it, it sounded as if it changed everything. She was his again, his for the taking. "I think it changes things. You can't go back to her after that," she squeaked.

"I'm not sure what I'm going to do."

Lexi gasped. "You mean…"

"Look, I don't know what to do yet. I just knew that's what you wanted," he saying eyeing her mussed appearance.

"That's not what I wanted."

"If it wasn't, you wouldn't have let me do it," he told her simply.

"I wanted answers."

"And I don't have any."

"So what was this?" she asked tears welling in her eyes. How had this turned south so fast?

"This was f**king Lexi. You should know that. You're really good at it."

His words were cold and calculated as if he were trying to hurt her. It was working. "Fuck you Jack."

"Whenever you want."

"So this is over?" she croaked.

He seemed utterly surprised by this conclusion. "No, baby," he said striding towards her and taking her face between his hands. She didn't even have the energy to push him away. "I just need more time. This was…great, but it doesn't change things. Now I really have to go." And with that he strode out of the hallway and back to his birthday party.

Happy birthday to him.

Lexi stayed outside for a minute contemplating how she had allowed things to get so out of control. She had promised herself she wouldn't let this happen, but when push comes to shove, literally, she couldn't say no to him. If she were to do it all over again, she'd make the same goddamn mistake. That was the part that miffed her the most. She knew that she should look at it as a mistake, but she couldn't. He had said that it didn't change anything, but she knew deep down that it changed everything. If he could have her like this, would he want her any other way? It was a question she had wrestled with for a long time, and still to this day she didn't know the answer.

She bit her lip in her consternation and cursed loudly forgetting that Jack had bit down hard on the sensitive tissue. The one thing she did know is that she needed to get away from this place. She didn't care where she went as long as it was far away from here.

Lexi quickly darted back into the bathroom, shimmying out of her sodden, destroyed underwear and chucking them into the trashcan. She pulled her knot of curls out of the messy bun that looked like a disaster after having been scrapped against a cement wall. She applied a thin layer of clear lip gloss hoping that would cover the bruise that was forming, but she doubted it. She assessed her neck noticing a few red marks beginning to form where Jack had been too violent, but she didn't have any concealer and hoped no one would notice as she snuck out.

There was no way she could atone for her dress though. The back looked like well…it had been dragged across cement. Some strings were hanging free from the material. The silky fabric was dotted with scuffs that resembled a bathing suit bottom after sitting on the edge of a pool for too long. Not to mention the scratches that covered her upper back where her hair had been held high. She would never be able to explain those. Luckily, her back hadn't bled, but some of the scrapes were so red she was certain had he gone on any longer, they would have. She just hoped her long hair would hide as much as possible.

After deciding nothing more could be done, she snuck back out of the bathroom and made a beeline for the exit. When she got there, she ducked through the double doors and stopped as she almost ran smack dab into Ramsey. She didn't even know how long she had been gone.

"Where have you been?" he asked concern evident in his voice. "It's twelve-twenty. I've been searching for you everywhere. I had just decided to see if any cabs had taken you home, but no one knew anything. Are you alright?"

His green eyes were wide with worry. She knew she should feel guilty, and maybe a small part of her did. Ramsey was starting to grow on her and he seemed so genuinely concerned. But this was the last thing she needed after what she had just done.

"Uh, yeah…" she trailed off not meeting his gaze. "Sorry."

"It's fine. I'm glad you're alright," he said scooping her up into a hug. She bit back a cry as his hands brushed against her red, swollen back.

"I have to get out of here," she muttered abrasively. "Can you call me a cab?"

"Where are you going?" he asked hesitantly trying to meet her eyes.

"Back to the hotel."

"Alright. You have a key right?" he asked just to make sure. He snapped his fingers at the concierge to begin to make arrangements.