Asa (Marked Men #6)(52)

Dom swore. “What if he never lets it go, Royal? Are you going to sink to the bottom with him? You’re telling me you’re willing to drown for this guy that you aren’t even really dating?”

I couldn’t answer that. Every time Asa told me to go away, told me that we were bound to implode, it just made me more determined to hold on to him. When I had first started chasing him, it had been about him trying to save me from myself. Now I wasn’t sure who was trying to save who or if we were just destined to destroy each other like he seemed so certain we were.

“I guess it’s a good thing I’m a strong swimmer, and hopefully it won’t come to that.”

The mood was somber after that and Dom decided to fill me in on every single episode of Veronica Mars he had been watching on Netflix while he was laid up. It was so nice to have our easy camaraderie back without all my tension and anxiety keeping distance between us. I could tell Dom had missed having the regular old me around. I stopped to get ice cream to take back to Ari and then the three of us spent the rest of the day hanging out like we used to do when we were kids. It was exactly what I needed to gear up for my date or whatever it was that I was going on with Asa later that night.

I was anxious because he wouldn’t tell me what he had planned, and beyond going to breakfast or lunch after I spent the night with him, we hadn’t really ever done anything alone together. This was our first, actual, out-of-bed spending time together, and I was practically giddy that he had been the one to initiate it. I could talk a big game about being willing to go under for him, but really I needed Asa to do more than tread water if this thing between us was ever going to go anywhere.

My mom called me as I was leaving Dom’s apartment and asked me to stop by her town house for dinner. I could tell by her melancholy tone that she was bummed out, which could only mean things with her newest boy toy hadn’t panned out. They never did, but I loved her too much to remind her of that.

Since Asa wasn’t meeting me at my apartment until much later, I agreed to swing by. I almost immediately wished I hadn’t. My mom was dramatic on a good day, but when she was feeling unwanted and undervalued, she was an emotional nightmare. She had a tendency to act like a cheerleader just dumped by the captain of the football team, her emotional state that immature and erratic when her heart had taken a hit. She was going on and on about getting older, about not being attractive anymore, and I had to tell her that she didn’t need any more work done like twenty times. She had sucked me dry and left me feeling bad that I couldn’t help her. I could never help her when it came to her issues with men. The way she needed them to love her, to worship her, was scary, and I would be forever grateful that I had always had Dom to keep me clear of that way of thinking.

There wasn’t time for me to rest, though, as I raced through a shower then worked to dry and straighten my hair. Since I had no idea where we were going, I wasn’t sure what to wear, so I settled on a knee-length, gray-and-yellow skirt that had a high waist and a dangerous slit in the back, and a black top that was asymmetrical and left one of my shoulders bare. I made my hair as straight as I could and it nearly touched the small of my back once I was done, which was a little more elegant than my normal ponytail or messy bun. I kept my makeup minimal so that I didn’t look like I was trying too hard, and decided on ballet flats instead of heels since I didn’t know if walking was part of Asa’s mysterious plan. He had mentioned he finally got a car and he was picking me up, but beyond that I had no clue what was in store for me.

I heard a knock on the door a little bit after eleven and had to take a couple deep breaths to stop from reacting like an overeager teenager about to head to prom. When I pulled the door open I felt my heart trip over itself and my breath halt in my lungs. Asa always sort of looked rugged and rough. It was like he avoided any kind of sophistication on purpose, but not tonight. Tonight he was full of polish and shine. It was making me too stupid to function.

He had on tailored black pants with sharp black wing tips instead of boots and a dark gray button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up his forearms. His blond hair was artfully arranged in a mess and his face was clean-shaven, making his smirk as I openly ogled him even more endearing. He looked sophisticated and dangerous in an entirely different way than he normally did. He was such a chameleon, slipped so easily from one type of guy into another. It made an apprehensive shiver dance up and down my spine.

“You look nice.” My voice sounded breathy to my own ears.

“I have my moments, but you”—his eyes skimmed me up and down and landed back on my face with a warm glow—“are perfect. Are you ready to go?”

I nodded numbly and let him guide me out of the apartment. I was thankful that neither Nash nor Saint popped out of the apartment across the hall since I couldn’t form words at the moment. He even smelled different tonight, more expensive and exotic than he normally did. It almost felt like I was going out with a stranger and I wasn’t sure if that thrilled me or terrified me. We hadn’t even reached his car yet and my head was already spinning.

He stopped in front of a beat-up old Nova. The car had obviously seen better days, but the interior was clean and it had a sexy rumble when he started it. I was actively trying not to fidget or twitch, but there was something about all that smoothness and elegance that was wafting off of him that made me feel very unsure of myself and, for once, unsure of him.