All Summer Long (Fool's Gold #9)(92)

Clay took a step and stumbled. As he righted himself, he knew her leaving was his fault. He’d driven her away.

“I have to get back,” he said and started toward the house. He half expected Shane to follow, but his brother let him go.

Yet there was no peace in the long walk back. And when he walked into the kitchen, his mother was waiting.

“We have to talk,” May told him.

“Mom, no.”

“Fine. Then I’ll talk and you listen.” She moved close and put her hands on his shoulders. “I’m so proud of you, Clay. At what you’ve accomplished. Your modeling career and now the Haycations. You’re a success. You found Diane and married her. She was wonderful.”

He didn’t know where the conversation was going but he knew he wouldn’t like it.

His mother stared into his eyes. “Now you’re being a complete idiot and she wouldn’t be happy at all. Do you think avoiding caring about anyone else honors her memory? Is that what you learned from loving her? To never share your heart with anyone else? What a horrible lesson.”

He flinched. “It’s not like that.”

“Of course it is. You think I don’t know? I lived it, Clay. For twenty years I kept my heart under lock and key. When your father died, I wanted to die, too. But I had my three boys and you kept me going. Then I had that night with that man and I turned up pregnant. I was so ashamed. Humiliated. Evie was proof of my betrayal. That’s how I saw her. Living proof of my mistake. So I held back from her. I was a cruel mother and I hurt my daughter. For years I was distant. I knew what she wanted, what she needed, and I wasn’t there for her. My actions are my worst sin. I will regret what I did for the rest of my life. But that’s nothing. The person who has to pay for my mistakes is my own daughter.”

Clay ached for her. “Mom...” he began.

She shook her head. “Don’t try to make me feel better. There’s no point in it. Now my daughter hates me and she has every reason. I want to heal what’s between us and I’m not sure I deserve a second chance. All because I closed my heart to the possibilities.”

She picked up a folder from the table and handed it to him. “This came today from your photographer friend. He thought I might like a copy. When I saw it, I knew the truth.”

He opened the folder and saw a picture. It was the one taken at the photo shoot, of him and Charlie together. They were looking at each other.

She was so damn beautiful, he thought, taking in her blue eyes, the smile, her short hair all mussed because she’d been nervous and running her hands through it.

Then his gaze shifted to his face and he saw what his mother had seen. Love. It was so clear, it was practically in writing. Even then he’d loved her. Had wanted to be with her. Only he couldn’t because... Because...

“You’re afraid,” his mother said softly.

He put down the picture. “Terrified.”

“It’s safer to be alone. Easier. You can live a small, tidy life and never be hurt. There are no highs, but there aren’t any lows, either.”

Not a philosophy to make Diane  proud, he thought. Or himself. Not what he aspired to.

His mother put her hand on his chest. “What a waste of a perfectly good heart,” she said.

And he knew she was right.

“I don’t know where she is.”

May smiled. “I know someone who does.”

* * *

DOMINIQUE MIGHT BE small, but she was formidable as she stared at Clay, her eyes snapping with the protective instincts of a mother tiger.

“I should tell you this information why?” she asked. “You’re the one who dumped my daughter. You hurt her, Clay. She wasn’t crying.... She was sobbing. Her heart broken, her spirit shattered. You knew her deepest, darkest secrets. You claimed you wanted to heal her but in the end, you did more damage. So, no, I won’t tell you where she is.”

He stared at the tiny woman standing in front of him and wondered if there were any words to convince her. Because as far as he could figure out, she was the only person who knew where to find Charlie.

He thought about all the things he could say, how he could explain and realized there was only the heart-wrenching honesty he had learned from her magnificent daughter.

He drew in a breath, then dropped to his knees. “I love her, Dominique. I was wrong and I want to tell her that. I want to beg her to forgive me and give me another chance and I plan to spend the rest of my life convincing her I’m the one for her.”

Dominique’s stern expression remained unmoved. “Give me one good reason why I should trust you.”

He swore silently. A trick question. He knew if he got it wrong, he was totally screwed. But what was the right answer? The one that would convince her that he—

And then he knew. No. Not him. His heart. Where the answer had been all along. But he’d been too blind to see it.

“You should trust me because Charlie loves me, too.”

* * *

“I KNOW I said I’d leave you alone,” Dominique said, her voice clear over the cell phone. “But indulge me.”

“Mom, this is crazy.”

“Agreed. And a cliché. But it will only take a minute.”

“Why don’t you come here?”

“Because there’s something you need to see. Don’t make me use my stern voice, Chantal.”