Again the Magic (Wallflowers 0.5)(84)

McKenna was already there, waiting near the tack room. Aline was tempted to run to him, equally as much as she wanted to flee in the opposite direction. McKenna smiled faintly, but Aline sensed that he was fully as nervous as she. They were both aware that this was one of the rare occasions when a single conversation might alter the entire course of one’s future.

“Good morning,” Aline managed to say.

McKenna looked at her in a way that suspended them both in silent tension. He offered an arm to her. “Let’s go to the river.”

Aline knew at once where he would take her…the spot that had always been theirs alone. The perfect place to say goodbye, she thought bleakly, taking his arm. They walked in silence, while the lavender tones of early dawn turned pale yellow, and long, light shadows crossed the lawn. Aline’s knee joints felt stiff, as they always did in the morning before her scars were stretched by mild activity. She concentrated on walking smoothly, while McKenna matched his pace to her slower one.

They finally reached the clearing near the water, where a pied wagtail circled the glittering reeds several times before suddenly dropping in to roost. Aline sat on a large, flat rock and arranged her skirts carefully, while McKenna went to stand a few feet away from her. He bent to pick up a few small stones. One by one, he sent them skimming across the water with deft flicks of his wrist. She watched him, drinking in the sight of his tall form, the strong lines of his profile, the easy grace of his movements. When he turned to glance at her over his shoulder, his turquoise eyes were so vivid in his bronzed face that the color seemed almost unnatural.

“You know what I’m going to ask,” he said quietly.

“Yes,” Aline replied in mounting anxiety, “but before you say anything, I must tell you that I will never—”

“Hear me out,” he murmured, “and then you can answer. There are things that I want to say to you. Difficult as this is, I’m going to talk to you honestly, or I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”

Black misery swamped her. Honesty—the one thing she couldn’t give him in return. “I’m going to refuse you, no matter what you say.” Her breath felt caustic in her throat, as if she had swallowed acid. “Please spare us both the unnecessary discomfort—”

“I’m not going to spare either of us,” he said gruffly. “It’s now or never, Aline. After I leave tomorrow, I’m not coming back.”

“To England?”

“To you.” McKenna found a rock near hers and sat on the edge of it, leaning forward to brace his forearms on his thighs. His dark head lowered for a moment, the sunlight moving over his black hair in a bright gleam. He looked up with a penetrating gaze. “It was the curse of my life to be sent to this estate. From the moment I first saw you, I felt the connection between us—a connection that should never have existed, and never should have lasted. I tried to admire you from a distance…just as I saw the stars in the sky and knew I could never touch them. But we were too young, and I was with you too often, to preserve that distance. You were my friend, my companion…and later I came to love you as deeply as any man has ever loved a woman. That never changed for me, although I’ve lied to myself for years.” He paused and took a long breath. “No matter how I want to deny it, I will always love you. And no matter how I wish I could be something other than what I am, I’m a commoner, and a bastard, and you’re a daughter of the peerage.”

“McKenna,” she began miserably, “please don’t—”

“My entire purpose in coming back to Stony Cross was to find you. That was fairly obvious, I think, as there was no practical reason to avail ourselves of your brother’s hospitality. For that matter, there was no need for me to come to England at all, as Shaw could have managed well enough on his own while I remained in New York. But I needed to prove that what I felt for you wasn’t real. I had convinced myself that I had never loved you…rather, it was that you represented all the things I could never have. I thought that an affair with you would dispel those illusions, and you would turn out to be like every other woman.” He fell silent for a moment, while the jangling song of a reed warbler pierced the air. “Then I planned to return to New York and take a wife. A man of my position, even without a name and family, can marry well there. Finding a willing bride is easy enough. But now after finding you again, I’ve finally realized that you were never an illusion. Loving you has been the most real thing in my life.”

“Don’t,” Aline whispered, her eyes stinging.

“I am asking you, with all the humility I possess, if you will marry me, and come to America. Once Westcliff takes a wife, he’ll no longer need you as a hostess. You’ll have no real place at Stony Cross Park. But as my wife, you would be the queen of New York society. I have a fortune, Aline, with the prospect of tripling it in the next few years. If you come with me, I’ll do everything in my power to make you happy.” His voice was so quiet, so careful, the voice of a man who was taking the most dangerous gamble of his life. “Obviously it would be a sacrifice for you to leave your family and friends, and the place where you’ve lived since you were born. But you could come back to visit—the crossing only takes twelve days. You could begin a whole new life with me. Name your price, Aline—it’s yours for the asking.”