A Warrior Wedding (The Protectors #7)(42)

“How much is it?” Adam plucked it out of her fingers to look at it. “Holy shit. Can I borrow a couple thousand?” He gave her a ‘pretty please’ smile.

Jill stood, plucking it right back out of his fingers. “Not a chance.” She grinned and headed out of the kitchen.

As she made her way to her room, she had to watch for any of the girls. She told everyone else to keep the secret, but she totally sucked at secrets. That was why she was sneaking down the halls as if she were on some covert operation with the VC Warriors. Rushing inside her room, she shut the door. Slade walked out of the bathroom totally naked drying his hair with a towel.

“Good thing it was me.” Her eyes roamed his body and a sudden heat flushed across her skin.

Slade’s smile was slow, his eyes roaming over her. It had been way too long since he had touched her and she knew exactly why. She turned away from him and gazed at herself in the mirror, something she tried not to do lately. Her cheeks were sunken as were her eyes, which looked flat. The paleness of her skin made the shadows under her mismatched eyes even more pronounced. Steve was right; she looked like shit. Closing her eyes, she shut out the truth of the situation staring back at her.

“Open your eyes,” Slade said from directly behind her. His heat surrounded her.

Jill did as he said, but looked up over her head to stare at him, not her reflection. “I know why you haven’t touched me.” Jill didn’t take her eyes off him. “I can’t blame you. Steve’s right, I look like shit.”

Turning her around, Slade glared down at her. “Steve’s a f*cking idiot.” Slade raised an eyebrow as if emphasizing that fact. “And I’m taking it slow with you until you’re stronger.”

“Don’t lie to me, Slade.” Jill tried to look away, but he wouldn’t let her. “I would totally understand if you want to call off our wedding.”

“Jill, I’m going to marry you because that is what I want.” Slade’s voice turned into a growl.

“I’m gross,” Jill replied, then laughed at her choice of words, despite her eyes misting with tears.

Slade didn’t laugh. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

“You have to say that.” Jill rolled her eyes.

“No.” Slade’s voice held conviction. “I don’t. I just know exactly what will put you in jeopardy and as badly as I want to lay you down underneath me at this very moment, it’s not going to happen. It’s not worth the risk.”

“So is this what it’s going to be like being married to a doctor?” Jill grumbled, but her heart felt a little lighter. “I get a little sniffle and...”

“This is not a little sniffle and you know it.” Slade had already put on a pair of slacks and reached over grabbing a shirt.

She sighed and then eyed him. “Where you going?”

“To get my tux with the rest of the men you and Caroline have been ordering around.” He winked at her. Leaning down, he kissed her softly. “I cannot wait to make you my wife. I love you.”

Jill kissed him back with a tight hug. “I love you.”

“Now rest for a while and I’ll be back soon.” Slade smiled. Something flickered in his eyes, but was gone as soon as it appeared.

As the door closed, Jill felt more alone than she ever had and she knew it was fear making her feel this way. She could yell right now and Slade would be in front of her in two seconds flat. Glancing at the closed door, she thought about doing just that, but didn’t. She’d be damned if she let fear win. She was stronger than that.

******

Slade went the opposite way of the game room, where he was supposed to meet the guys, past his office and out the door to the parking lot. He continued until he knew he was out of sight of the cameras. Stopping, he just stood, staring at nothing. With his hands clenched at his sides, his body pulsed in rage. It took every ounce of discipline he possessed not to show any negative emotion around Jill, around any of them. He was their doctor. He should be able to do something except watch the woman he loved slowly starving to death in front of his f*cking eyes.

Tilting his head back, he held back the roar he felt building in his chest. Afraid if he let go, he would be too far gone in his rage to return to the man he needed to be for Jill. All his life he had waited for her; though he didn’t know it until he had seen her that first day playing tag football, and still he had tried to fight it. Flashes of memories filtered through his brain as he stood, head back with his eyes closed.

Jill’s words came back to him like a punch in the gut. For her to even think for one minute that he didn’t want to marry her, make love to her, told him he was failing miserably at taking care of her. For Jill to have any doubts of his devotion to her was unacceptable. His insides twisted at the mere thought of not having her in his life, so why in the hell did he have such a hard time expressing that to her? Just the thought of losing Jill brought his rage even closer.

His eyes opened, black as night as he stared toward the sky. “I will not lose her.” His voice was hoarse with emotion. Bringing his head down he wasn’t surprised at the wetness on his face. Determination and rage filled his soul as did the love for his mate. “I will not fail her.”

Turning, he swiped his face before heading back inside, feeling a little more in control. He grabbed the door handle and swung the door open.