A Warrior Wedding (The Protectors #7)(40)

Jill straightened and went to walk out of the room. “I’ll be right back,” Jill told Caroline and Jax as she passed. Making her way through the house, Jill couldn’t help but look around, not only looking for her mom, but searching for the memories as she passed them by. Stopping in front of her parents’ bedroom, she looked inside. Her mother stood with her back facing the door.

“I don’t hate you, Jillian.” Her mother’s voice sounded tired and worn down. Her shoulders were slumped. Turning, she looked at Jill, her eyes moist with tears before walking to the closet and digging something out from the back. Her mom placed a box on the bed, lifting the lid.

Gazing at the box, Jill’s whole world shifted. Everything from a pair of baby shoes, drawings she had created, to school reports lay perfectly placed inside the box. She was speechless.

Her mom walked around the bed and took her hand, leading her out of the room and up the stairs. She opened the attic door. Even though Jill feared this room with a passion because Trevor, the ass, told her the boogeyman lived in there, Jill followed her mother inside.

“That is all your stuff.” Her mother pointed to boxes stacked in one corner.

“But I thought...” Jill looked at her, confused.

Her mother didn’t let her finish as she pulled her out of the attic and down the hall to her old room. She opened the door and pulled Jill inside. Nothing had changed. Her bed was under the window, her desk still sat in the same place, as did her dresser.

“Trevor said you and Janie threw my things out.”

Her mother swallowed visibly. “Trevor was devastated when you went missing, and then when you came back and left again, he blamed me.”

Jill wanted to say it was her fault that she left home, but she stayed silent.

“And I didn’t correct him.” Her mother actually looked ashamed.

Jill walked over and opened her closet. All her clothes were gone. She turned to look at her mom.

“In the boxes in the attic,” her mother answered Jill’s unspoken question. “That’s what we were doing that night.”

“Why?” Jill shook her head, unsure which question she had for her mother to answer first. Why, seemed like the best place to start.

“I never knew how to help you, Jillian,” her mother replied.

“By being my mother.” Hot blinding anger made her heart beat faster, but she did her best to keep the attitude out of her tone. “That’s all I wanted. I felt like a burden because I had a reading disability.”

“I didn’t know how to help you, so I ignored you and brushed the problem aside.” Her eyes never flickered from Jill’s. “I failed you in every way a mother could fail her child.”

Feeling weak, Jill walked over and sat on the edge of her bed. “And then I came home a monster.”

Her mother wiped the tear that leaked from her eye, but didn’t answer. “I’m sorry.” Those two words her mother spoke rang true.

Looking away from her mother, Jill’s eyes roamed her room, seeing everything that once made her who she was. All her drawings were still taped to the light blue walls of her room. A weird sense of wanting to laugh filled her soul. She was finally getting what she wanted from her mother, yet she was dying. Lowering her head, Jill looked at the floor she had laid upon doing drawing after drawing. Tears spilled from her eyes, some clear, others red. Her chest hurt so badly, she thought that this may be it—she was going to die right there in the room she spent so many hours hoping, dreaming...wanting her mother’s approval, her love. A laugh mixed with a sob escaped her throat.

“You can have your wedding here with your friends, Jillian.” Her mother’s voice broke through her meltdown.

Hearing her mother’s footsteps moving past her, Jill raised her head, stood and pulled her mother into a hug. She couldn’t say anything except cry. And she cried even harder when her mom held her just as tightly, her own body shaking in sobs.

“I know I can never ask you to forgive me, Jillian. I will never be able to forgive myself,” her mother said against her shoulder. “Just know I’m so sorry.”

“I’ve already forgiven you. All I’ve ever wanted was your love, your acceptance.” Jill sobbed right back. Jill pulled back to look at her mom, a sob escaping her throat and ending in a laugh. “We’re a mess.” Her mom did the same, laughing on her own sob.

“Jilly, Shade’s here.” Seth’s small voice broke through their laughing and crying.

“You mean Slade?” Jill corrected him with a grin. Letting go of her mom, she wiped her face.

“Yeah, that’s what I said,” Seth frowned. “Why are you crying, Momma?”

“Because I’m happy.” Jill’s mom also wiped her face.

Jill hoped her face was clean of blood before turning around. She didn’t want to scare Seth. Her mom actually reached up and wiped her cheek. She then nodded, which made Jill well up again. Fighting back the tears, she turned. Seth stood in the doorway, his little hand in Slade’s big one.

Slade didn’t say a word, but his eyes spoke volumes. All Jill could manage was a nod because if she opened her mouth, she was going to lose it again.

Jill’s mom walked around Jill and stood in front of Slade. “I want to apologize for the way I treated you.”