A Want So Wicked (A Need So Beautiful #2)(69)

Onika’s skin begins to crack and tear as her emotions roll over her. Monroe was the last person to see her other than the Forgotten. She gave up everything for him, and he turned his back on her.

“The good doctor isn’t looking so hot,” Onika says coldly to me. “Perhaps he’s lonely. Should I whisper him a love poem?”

“I’m sick,” Monroe answers instead, his voice gentle, as if she’d been actually concerned. “I’m dying, Onika. I’m leaving soon.”

Before she can even process his words, Onika stumbles back. She’s stunned by the fact that he can see her. “How—” Tears fill her blue eyes.

“I’m letting him,” I say. “I can control the visions too, remember.”

“No,” she says, covering her face with her hands. “I don’t want him to—”

“Onika,” Monroe breathes in the most tender voice I’ve ever heard him use. When she shifts her devastated gaze back to his, he smiles. “It’s been too long, darling.”

As I watch, the layers of bitterness wrapped around Onika fall away, revealing the vulnerable girl beneath, the girl who tried at twenty to save her life, forgoing the rest of the world.

Monroe begins to walk purposefully toward her, his gait weak from illness, but determined. As he approaches, Onika’s face begins to slowly repair itself. She doesn’t want him to see her as she is. Even now . . . all she cares about is Monroe. I slowly back away until I feel Harlin touch the small of my back.

I turn to let him wrap me in a hug, and he holds me tightly against him. My Harlin. I start to cry, the tears evaporating off my cheeks the minute they touch. The energy inside me is becoming almost too much to hold together.

“You promised you wouldn’t leave me again,” Harlin murmurs in my ear. “You promised, Elise.”

“I’m sorry.” I lay my head on Harlin’s shoulder. His hand brushes my hair, a silent acceptance, as I watch Onika and Monroe. Marceline had told Monroe that if he could find the humanity in Onika, get her out of the Shadows for even a moment, then maybe I would be able to extinguish her. To do that, I’ll need to burst into light. Of course, I still have a choice. But I know which one to make.

Monroe pauses in front of Onika, letting her look over his failing body. Then as he steps forward to put his hand on her cheek, Lucy comes into my line of vision.

“You’re so bright,” she says to me. “It’s really beautiful.”

“I wish I knew what to say right now,” I tell her, untangling myself from Harlin as he moves back to give us privacy. Lucy won’t harm me now. “I wish we could have been sisters forever,” I say, and my voice breaks.

Lucy’s lower lip trembles and she glances away. “Maybe this once I can love you enough to let go,” she says.

“I don’t want you to,” I answer. “I don’t want you to ever let go.”

A thoughtful expression passes over Lucy’s features, her blue eyes welling up. “Elise,” she says. “Do you remember when we were little girls and I used to sit you at Mom’s vanity, dressing you in pearls and makeup? I dragged you around everywhere with me. My own little baby doll.” She stops. “That feels real to me.”

I nod. “Me too.”

“When it came time to choose,” she says, “I didn’t think I could give it up, that love I had for you. For Dad. For myself. Maybe I wasn’t strong enough, or maybe this was my true destiny. I’m not sure.

“I’m not able to help my temptations.” She lowers her voice. “I’m forced to do them, compelled, even, by something inside me. Something shadowing my heart. But there’s one thing I want you to always know.”

“What’s that?” I ask.

“No matter what choice I made, all I ever wanted was to be remembered by my family. I wanted you to know that I loved you more than anything.”

My composure shatters and I sway on my feet, beginning to sob. Harlin comes to steady my shoulders, and I reach into my back pocket, taking out the picture of Lucy and me by the waterfall. I hold it out to her.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you,” I murmur. “I’m so sorry, Lucy.”

My sister takes the picture of us and lets her grief spill out as she looks it over. When she glances up again, she smiles sadly. “It was never your job to save me, Elise. You were only meant to love me.”

She turns away then. I call her name, but she walks slowly down the middle of Main Street. My chest aches with cries as Harlin holds me up, holds me close. And we watch after Lucy as she leaves as a Shadow—compelled beyond her will to spread misery. We watch her until she disappears completely, leaving me behind.

Harlin doesn’t speak. He keeps me pressed to him, his heart pounding against mine. He feels like warmth and love, and above all else—peace.

“Harlin,” I say, lifting my head to look at him. When he meets my eyes, he doesn’t respond, tears spilling down his cheeks.

I kiss him softly then, once. Twice. I bring my lips close to his ear. “In another life we are happy,” I murmur, squeezing my eyes shut. “In another life we grow old together.”

My light radiates, sending him this small bit of hope, love. It’s not true, but I hope the thought of it can replace some of his pain. When I’m done, I back away as Harlin watches me, a soft smile on his lips, as if he believes my words with all of his heart.