A Want So Wicked (A Need So Beautiful #2)(33)

But in this world, in this dream, I suddenly know that’s not possible. “I can’t be with you,” I say, putting my arms between us to break away. Abe keeps me close to him, bringing his face near mine.

“Silly girl,” he says, a devious twinkle in his eyes. He runs his hand down my neck, over my collarbone, before sighing longingly. “You already belong to me.”

“Elise?”

I wake with a start and see my dad standing in my doorway, holding it half-open. The green numbers on my alarm clock read that it’s after midnight. “Hey,” I say, taking a second to get my bearings, the dream evaporating almost instantly. I sit up and touch my lips. They’re cold.

“Just got home and wanted to make sure you were okay,” my father says, sounding exhausted. He sits on the end of my bed, the light from the hallway casting shadows over the room. “Okay, maybe I wasn’t so much making sure you were okay as I was checking to see that you were home. I hope the date went well?”

“Date?” Fear rushes through me as I remember what happened with Abe, what happened when he kissed me. “It was fine,” I say, quickly brushing back my hair. But it’s not fine. It’s so freaking far from fine that I’m trembling, barely able to keep myself from screaming.

“Honey,” my father says, touching my arm. “You’re so pale.”

I’m not sure how to answer, how to explain that a psychic told me I wasn’t human and now I’m starting to believe her. How can I tell my father that memories are trying to take me over—memories that aren’t even mine? Instead I reach out and hug him, letting him hold me until I stop shaking.

“Elise,” he says. “Has something else happened? If you’re still having those episodes, we should take you back to the doctor. We’ll find every specialist we can, drive up to Phoenix, even. Someone has to know what’s going on with you.”

It never occurred to me what it would really mean to try to find a logical solution. But now I understand—I’ll be trapped in a hospital bed, undergoing surgeries and tests, blood work and X-rays. I’ll be like my mother in her final days. Only my affliction won’t be so easy to diagnose. What will they do to me?

“I’m just really tired,” I say, straightening up. “Santo’s has been way more physical than I thought, and I’m working too many hours. The low vitamin D only adds to that. . . .”

My father seems to consider this, nodding after a moment. “I think I should set you up with one of the other counselors at the church,” he offers. “If this is mental somehow—”

“It’s exhaustion,” I say.

“If this happens again . . .”

“Hospital,” I reply quickly. “I promise.”

He exhales, but his worry lines don’t diminish. I can tell he has another reason for talking to me tonight.

“What is it?” I ask.

“It’s your sister.”

My heart skips a beat. “What’s wrong with Lucy?”

“It’s just that . . .” He glances toward the hallway, lowering his voice. “I took her to see the doctor this morning. And after, Lucy said she had a clean bill of health. But there is something different about her. You see it, don’t you?”

“Like a new piercing?”

“I don’t know,” my father says. “I can’t quite figure out what it is.” He rubs his forehead, a movement similar to one of my own.

“It’s okay, Dad.” I rest my cheek on his shoulder. “She’s probably found a weirdo boyfriend who you’ll hate and forbid her to spend time with. Then everything will be back to normal.”

“Sounds awful, but I hope you’re right.”

I close my eyes, thinking about Lucy, about the horrible things happening to me. It’s like our family is falling apart—breaking down a little each day. I’m not sure what to do anymore, but I have to fix this myself. Marceline said that no one else could help me. And I’m starting to see that she’s right.

I promise my father that I’ll talk to Santo about cutting down on my hours, and in return he agrees to try to do the same at the church. I feel immediately better because that means he’ll be around more for me and Lucy. It gives me hope that there’s a chance we can get through this. Even so, I secretly hope it doesn’t resurrect his family game-night ideas.

I plan to go to Marceline’s, and this time I’m not just going for her creepy mythology lessons. I want answers. I want to know how to stop what’s happening to me.

I ask my dad to drop me off at the café on Mission Boulevard, telling him I’m meeting Abe for lunch. He doesn’t need to know that I haven’t heard from him. I’d checked my phone all morning, thinking he’d call, but there was nothing. What does Abe think happened? Did he feel the cold, or was it just me? Does he think I’m a prude who can’t handle being touched? His perfect silence is killing me.

After my father drops me off, I wait for him to drive away and then start toward Marceline’s. I didn’t have her number to call—it wasn’t even listed—but I have to talk to her. She can’t turn me away.

When I get closer to her house, I notice someone just ahead. My heartbeat quickens. Harlin is sitting on his motorcycle at the curb—looking smoking hot as usual.