A Want So Wicked (A Need So Beautiful #2)(32)

“Come here,” he says, patting the spot next to him. “I’ll be careful with you.”

I wait for him to laugh off the comment, but he doesn’t. I’m slightly perplexed as I ease down next to him. We’re quiet at first, the television silently showing a Project Runway rerun. Abe’s shoulder rests against mine, solid and warm. He shifts, turning toward me. “Elise,” he says softly. “Do you want to be with me?”

The question is blunt and I’m completely unprepared for it. My lips part, but no words come out. And although it feels almost cruel, I can’t respond. I don’t know the answer.

Abe swallows hard, the noise audible in the room. “I promise I won’t hurt you. Not if you stay with me.”

I’m surprised by his words, what they could possibly mean. But when I look at him, I get caught up in his dark gaze and feel myself drift away slightly.

“We belong together,” Abe says, drowning out my thoughts with his words, making them hard to sort out. “Why can’t you see that?” I don’t respond, struck silent. I can feel him—his desire. It’s like I can see inside his head and know that he’s been so lonely without me. He thinks I’m beautiful.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” he murmurs, and draws me to him, his mouth covering mine. His fingers knot in my hair, tipping my head back as he kisses my neck, breathing heavily in my ear. “Just say yes and we’ll be together. Just say yes.”

I barely register what’s happening as Abe’s mouth is on mine again, softly whispering how much he wants me. It’s then that it begins—the numbing sensation.

What starts as a soft tingling in my lips begins to spread through my face. My neck. I put my hands on Abe’s chest, trying to move him back as he continues to kiss me. A shock of cold, like ice water pumped into my veins, tears at my flesh.

Finding my strength, I push Abe off and jump up from the sofa, wrapping my arms around myself.

Abe looks startled and reaches for me. “Elise?”

I don’t know what’s happening, but I have to get away from him. I turn and run toward my room, my body cold. Everything aching. It’s not Abe’s fault; it was just a kiss. A kiss can’t do this. It’s another sign that something is seriously wrong with me.

When I reach my room, I slam my door and lock it. Still shivering, I slide down until I’m on the floor, legs stretched out in front of me. I’m filled with absolute sadness, as if my heart is broken—no, shattered. I’m drowning in misery. And then an old memory slips in place.

He loves me. He loves me like no one else can, no one else will. He is mine forever. And with that knowledge, I know that I can let go. Because he’ll never forget.

“Elise?” Abe says softly on the other side of the door.

“I can’t,” I try to say, covering my face with my hands. I want the memories to stop, but at the same time I miss him—the guy in my thoughts. I think I might die, I miss him so badly.

“I’m sorry,” Abe says. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that. You’re . . . different.” He exhales. “Please come out.”

I lift my head then, staring straight ahead toward my reflection in the bottom half of the closet mirror. “Who are you?” I ask myself silently, tears streaming down my cheeks. But nothing happens; the reflection doesn’t change. Instead, I’m just sitting on my bedroom floor, a guy outside my door begging to talk to me. But I’m a freak. And I tell him to go home and leave me alone.

“We need to talk, querida,” Abe says, sounding miserable. “I can’t just let you go. Not now.”

Headlights of a passing car illuminate the room, and when it does, I notice a glimmer under the bed. I reach for it, both comforted and saddened when I find it. It’s my angel statue set in a clear stone.

On the other side of the door, Abe’s feet shuffle. “Look, I’ll leave. But . . .” He stops, as if uncertain of what to say next. So when he doesn’t say anything at all, only closes the front door as he leaves, I start to cry harder.

I climb into bed, pulling the covers up over my head. I want to hide from the dark thoughts chasing me. I clasp the stone angel to my chest as I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing all of the creepiness away. Wishing I could live a normal life again. And when I’m done wishing—I pray.

CHAPTER 14

I’m in the middle of a road, a tumbleweed rushing past me. It’s daytime, but the overcast sky sets everything in a gray light. I’m the only thing glowing—a golden light under my skin.

I’m dreaming. Dread twists in my stomach, a feeling of something not right.

“What are you, Elise?”

Startled, I turn to see Abe, handsome as ever in a black suit as he walks toward me.

“What do you mean?” I ask, but my words come out too soft, too weak. I’m afraid as a sense of foreboding, a pressure, builds around us.

“You can tell me,” he adds, smiling gently. “I know you’re not like the others.” He holds open his arms, coming to wrap me in a hug. I let him, trying to process what’s going on as his fingers trail over the bare skin of my arm.

“I’m sorry to invade your dreams,” he says, his lips against my temple. He kisses the skin there, then the high point of my cheek. “But I had to see you,” he murmurs. “I want you, Elise.” His lips graze mine. “I want you to stay with me.”