A Shadow of Light (A Shade of Vampire #4)(18)

The bedroom reminded me of my dorm room in college. Two beds, closets, a shared bathroom… It wasn’t the kind of room or space I was used to having, but it certainly was better than the cell. The moment I was brought to the room, I first noticed the sealed windows. Definitely no sunlight coming in through those… The next thing I noticed was the surveillance cameras. They were going to watch our every move. I was certain that the room was bugged so they could hear our every conversation too.

I didn’t really care. I grabbed a towel from a closet and stripped to my underwear, looking up at one of the cameras before striking a pose and winking at whoever was watching me.

I then stepped into the bathroom and took a long bath. By the time I stepped out, Claudia was already seated on one of the beds, a blank expression on her face.

I wasn’t pleased about spending time with the little twerp, but I guess she had to do. I fought the urge to roll my eyes at the petty conversations I was certain I’d have to endure with her.

I got dressed, not really caring who saw me naked before taking a seat on the bed across from hers. I perused her form as I towel dried my hair. I could tell that just like me, she wasn’t given any favors when it came to personal hygiene either.

“Aren’t you going to have a bath?” I asked.

She sighed haplessly. “Maybe later.” She then stared at me in a way that really irritated me.

“What?” I snapped at her.

“You’re Ingrid Maslen. Sofia’s mother.”

I frowned. “What if I am?”

“I hope Sofia really does get to escape this place. She really wants to, I think. She and Derek are so in love with each other.” Her gaze left me as she bowed her head. “I really hope she takes me with her. I want to go back to The Shade. Yuri is back there.”

The news about Sofia’s escape was something I found delightful, but I knew that asking further about the escape would draw suspicion. Claudia went on with her own soliloquy, spouting question after question, musing after musing. “Have you ever felt like you’re unworthy of the love of a man?”

Yes.

“He’s done everything for you and yet none of it seems to be enough…”

My life’s story.

“I’ve always felt that way about Yuri. He always came through for me. Always. And all I did was hurt him, betray him, and make a fool out of him for holding any affection toward a broken creature like me.”

Broken creature. The words struck such a chord with me, so much so that I couldn’t pry my eyes away from Claudia. She was echoing my very soul, verbalizing what I could never speak out. Suddenly, the little blonde vampire became fascinating.

“Then suddenly, you lose him,” Claudia continued, her gaze distant, her eyes moistening. “And you mess up so bad, you feel as if nothing you do could ever get him back. You start to wonder if he could ever forgive you, if he could ever love you again, but all the while, you know that you don’t deserve that love…”

She paused and I could practically feel exactly what she was going through, and I found myself finishing her sentence. “You don’t deserve it, but it doesn’t mean you don’t want it.”

Claudia nodded in agreement, her eyes shifting toward me in surprise. “Exactly. How did you know?”

“I feel the same way about someone.” The truth hurt. I found that truth always did hurt. I’m in love with Aiden. I will always be in love with him. There’s no escaping it, but it doesn’t mean that I have to be prisoner to that love. “Claudia, if you had the chance, would you try to go back to him and make up for everything? If he welcomed you with open arms…”

Her face lit up, hope sparking in her eyes. “Yes! I would do anything. I’ve been such a fool…”

I immediately saw the difference between me and Claudia. She wanted love more than she wanted power. I, on the other hand, chose power over love a long time ago. I stared at Claudia—someone I perceived to be strong, independent and capable, yet turned into a pathetic weakling by love. I refuse to be like her. I can’t be the way Camilla was—a whimpering housewife, lovesick over her husband. I don’t want to be the needy weakling she was when she was with Aiden. Not anymore. I’m Ingrid Maslen now. Camilla Claremont is long gone.

I looked at the room I was in, a favor I didn’t deserve—faint proof that Aiden still held affection for me. Should I choose Claudia’s path, I knew I could somehow get him back, but I also shuddered at the thought. Camilla was in love with Aiden. Not Ingrid.

If I’m to be Ingrid Maslen in all her glory and beauty, then Aiden is my greatest weakness. I swallowed hard at the next thought that gripped my convictions. That only means one thing… He must be destroyed.

CHAPTER 10: SOFIA

No matter how tired I was, there were nights when sleep completely eluded me. Moments spent with Derek haunted me. Is he safe at The Shade? If he is, why hasn’t he tried to get me back? Is he even thinking about me?

Sometimes, I’d get so overwhelmed with the questions, I could barely breathe. I would then hold the diamond pendant he gave me for my birthday, thumbing along its fine edges, drawing comfort from the promise that came with it: “I want you to have it. Wear it always. It will remind you of me. Take it as a promise from me—a promise that I will find a way to be with you.”