A Shadow of Light (A Shade of Vampire #4)(15)

Natalie somehow found us as we trekked along the city walls, not daring to enter the city in case we couldn’t stop killing the people we met. She took us in and fed us. She was so tender, so kind, so lovely, I could barely believe that she was a vampire. That night was the first time I allowed myself to entertain the idea that goodness could still be found in creatures such as us. I had Natalie to thank for that. It was decades later before I saw her again—both of us bloodthirsty and losing touch with our humanity. Remembering her kindness and who she was greatly influenced my decision to escape it all and convince Cora to put me to sleep. After reminding her of whom she was before and the impact she had on me, I liked to think that I had a part in making her what she was now.

“Thank you for all your help, Natalie.”

She shrugged. “It’s the least I can do.” She grinned. “For old times’ sake.”

I heaved a sigh. “Did you ever think we’d end up this way? Vampires living centuries past our time?”

Natalie’s face softened and for a moment, I thought she was going to cry, but she just laughed dryly. “That’s just life, Novak. We are what we are. There’s no escaping it.”

No escape. The thought made me feel so hopeless. I was surprised by the strength of emotion that surged within me—something almost visceral fighting against that idea that our kind had no escape. How could that be our fate? That can’t be it, not when there’s hope for true sanctuary.

Sofia’s face flashed through my mind. I knew her role in the prophecy, the part she had to play. The distance we had between us was so keenly felt. She’s my hope. That’s when I realized that there was no possible way I could survive what was to come unless I made a conscious effort to connect to the light she had sparked in me.

I shook my head at Natalie. “I’d readily accept in a split second that I deserve this fate, but not you, Natalie.”

“Of all the vampires I’ve had the pleasure, or displeasure, of knowing, you’ve always been my favorite, Novak.” She playfully placed a finger beneath my chin and lifted my head upwards. “Do you have any questions about later?”

I shook my head. “I trust you.”

She rolled her eyes. “I warn you, Novak, trusting me could be your undoing.”

I chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

We shared a glass of blood before retreating to our own bedrooms to prepare for my departure. I was mostly thinking about what I was going to end up seeing upon my return to The Shade and how Sofia was doing. I hope she understands why I left. I found myself drifting off into a short nap. I was awakened by a thud outside the bedroom. Someone was with Natalie. I took great care not to make any noise as I peeked outside my bedroom door, which was slightly ajar.

“Where is Derek Novak?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about…” Natalie hissed.

I swallowed hard, panic overtaking me. At first, I thought that the hunters had somehow found the safe house, but I quickly realized—based on the fact that they made no move to hurt Natalie, nor were they equipped with the hunters’ advanced weaponry—that these were fellow vampires.

“We know you helped him, Natalie. You’re a diplomat. You’re not supposed to take sides. You shouldn’t have helped him, knowing that he is wanted by practically every vampire coven in existence—even his own.”

“You have nothing to prove that I helped Derek.”

“Who else would’ve helped him, but you?”

I knew then that I had to get out of the house immediately or I would risk destroying Natalie’s good standing with all the other covens. I couldn’t do that to her—not after everything she had done for me, not after everything she had risked.

I sneaked out of the bedroom window, still careful not to make even the smallest sound and headed off by foot to the location of the jet Natalie had arranged for me. I looked back and whispered a thank you to Natalie, praying that no harm would come to her because of me. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if anything bad happened to you because of me, Natalie. Stay safe.

A few hours later, just before the sun was about to rise, I was sitting in the submarine that would take me back to The Shade. I wanted to feel excitement about my return to the island that had been my home for centuries, but all I felt was dread. Somehow, I already knew that what I would come upon wouldn’t be a warm and happy welcome, but instead, complete and utter chaos.

I was right.

CHAPTER 7: INGRID

No matter how much I tried, I simply could not rid my mind of the way Aiden looked at me after our last conversation…like I was the most despicable thing he’d ever laid eyes on…as if I were some sort of monster.

He’s right. That’s exactly what I am now. A monster. The thought gave no consolation, even though I had once fooled myself into believing that I’d already reconciled myself with that truth.

I hated myself for losing Aiden. He was a man with so much love and affection to give. Certainly no other man had been able to penetrate through the walls of my heart the way he had done, yet despite all the love he had showered upon me, I was still an empty shell, haunted by my past, a past I would kill to forever keep hidden.

He has no idea how much of a monster I really am.

After Aiden left me in my cell, the solitude began to drive me mad. Even before becoming a vampire, I hated being alone and the fact that I was made aware that the love of my life would never look at me the same way he used to look at Camilla was driving me insane.