A Shade of Vampire (A Shade of Vampire #1)(33)

“Has he?”

Sofia sat up on the bed and gripped my wrist.

“Why are you acting like this? You’ve seen Lucas and I interact countless times.”

“Interact? Is that what you do with Lucas?”

I knew I was being irrational and unreasonable, but the image of Sofia with Ben embracing was burning away all rational thought and reason in my mind.

“Has something been going on between you and my brother, Sofia?”

“Me and Lucas?!” She said it through gritted teeth, like it was the most disgusting thing she’d ever heard of. “That’s madness, Derek. I would never…”

I moved fast, pushing her on her back over the bed. I quickly grabbed her wrists and pinned them with one hand over her head and knelt on the bed, straddling her hips.

Her eyes grew wide in question.

“What are you doing?” she asked in a small, broken voice. “Wait! Don’t…”

I grabbed her jaw non-too-gently. It was the first time I could remember treating her in an untoward fashion since the attack the first time I ever set eyes on her. I felt like I was losing her and that it was beyond my control. I wanted to regain some form of control and unreasonable as it was, I was taking my agitation out on her.

“You’re mine, Sofia. Many things have changed between us, but that hasn’t changed.”

She didn’t respond. Instead, she just looked at me in a way she hadn’t in a long time. She looked at me with fear.

That woke me up from my momentary burst of insane rage. I let go of her and got off her, feeling like the biggest jerk ever to walk the earth. I couldn’t even look at her. I couldn’t even bear being in the same room with her. I didn’t deserve her.

I knew that I was lying when I reminded her that the fact that she was mine hadn’t changed. No matter what alpha male act I could pull off in trying to intimidate her, I knew the truth. She was no longer mine. In fact, it was the exact opposite. At some point during all those times I’d spent with her, I’d become hers.

CHAPTER 25: SOFIA

No words could explain how shaken I was over what Derek did. It was so unlike him and I couldn’t understand how he could do something like that or why he would do it. Doubts assailed my mind.

Was Ben right? Was this Derek getting tired of me?

I remained motionless on the bed long after he got off me and stormed out of the room off to…I didn’t want to know where. I was trembling, unsure of what to make out of what just happened. All sense of security I felt whenever I was in that bedroom began to wash away and I found myself terrified. Yet after a bout of self-introspection, I realized that though I resented him for treating me the way that he did, I felt more worried about Derek more than any other feeling.

It wasn’t like him to act the way that he did and the fact that he would do to me something like that… I couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong. I looked back to the reason for his outburst. He thinks there’s something going on between me and Lucas. I wanted to explain to him how that couldn’t be further from the truth, but how was I to do that? Wanting to get my mind off of what happened, I climbed off the bed, pulled a white silk robe over the cotton night shift I had on. Plagued by worrisome thoughts, I retreated to the room that contained memories of Derek’s smile, of a dance with music that only played in Derek’s head, of a kiss that I wanted so much, but couldn’t allow to happen.

I went to the sun room and was surprised to find Ben standing there with a look of pure bliss and unveiled fascination on his face. After Derek “acquired” Ben, we spent the rest of the day together – up until the point when I had to go to Derek’s room to get some sleep. Ben actually suggested that I stay with him, but much to his dismay, I declined. I knew that should Lucas attack that night, I would only put Ben in danger if I was found with him. The time spent with Ben felt awkward and forced. The Blood Shade had changed him in ways I knew I wouldn’t be able to fully understand. Not many words were spoken between us. We just satisfied ourselves in being around the other. I knew he had his own questions for me, and I had mine, but I assumed that both of us were afraid to know the answers to our questions. I knew I was. I wouldn’t know how to handle it if Ben started telling me something awful about his experience at the Blood Shade. I didn’t even know if I could handle telling him about what Lucas had been putting me through and why I couldn’t possibly tell Derek. Thus, to see that relaxed and almost joyous expression on his face as he viewed the sun room was a precious sight to behold.

“We call it the sun room,” I said, surprising him. “I designed the room myself. You like it?”

I stepped inside the room, putting a smile on my face, trying to forget what just happened between Derek and me. I couldn’t deny the sense of pride I had upon seeing Ben’s face and how enamored he seemed by the illusion of the sun streaming through the room. It reminded me so much of the reaction on Derek’s face when I first brought him there that it almost felt like I was cheating on Derek just by being there with Ben.

“You did this?” Ben asked, not bothering to hide his enthrallment. “Sofia, this is…incredible.”

He breathed a sigh as he approached the mural of the beach on the wall.

“What I would give to see the sun… This place and its darkness… This room is a refuge. What made you think of this?”