A New Hope (Thunder Point #8)(46)

“I was on my way back from Portland and it was on the way,” Ginger said. “It’s a wonderful farm.”

“So, maybe this will turn into something a little more than friendship?” Grace suggested by way of a question.

Ginger only shrugged, looking back at her receipts.

“What does Matt say about that? After all, he drove all the way to Thunder Point to see you.”

“I don’t know. I haven’t heard from Matt.”

“Really? But you gave him your new cell number, right?”

Ginger gave Grace her full attention. “I didn’t,” she said.

“You don’t like Matt?” Grace asked, looking a little surprised and confused.

“Sure, I like him. Ever been in love with the wrong guy, Grace?”

“Matt’s the wrong guy?” Grace asked.

“I don’t know, but I know what it’s like to love the wrong guy. To stalk him, follow him, call him, wait for his calls and even when they’re long overdue, melting into one big puddle because he finally deigned to go to the trouble of making a phone call. I did that already and I put that far behind me—I don’t want to ever be that lonely, desperate girl again—it’s just too painful and shameful. So, Matt and I talked almost every night. Then we went to see the sunset, talked and laughed and kissed. Truthfully, we made out like crazy—it was so nice. I haven’t had that in my life for well over a year, over two years, maybe. It’s been so long since I had strong feelings for a guy that weren’t all gnarled up with regret. You know those feelings, right? Think about him all day, can’t wait to talk to him at night...”

“Or in my case, can’t wait for him to sneak up the back stairs...” Grace admitted, smiling devilishly.

“Oh, that must have been so romantic,” Ginger said.

“It was so romantic. So, you had those feelings?”

She nodded. “And then I realized that once again, I was having those feelings all by myself.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“You tell me. We told each other deeply personal things, kissed like romantic fools, he said he’d call and he didn’t.”

“Well, maybe—”

“Maybe he was in a car accident?” Ginger asked. “Worried, I texted, asking if he made it home safely. And he texted back three words. Safe and sound. There was nothing more. I waited for days.”

Grace got a very naughty smile on her face. “And you changed your number.”

“Well, that was really overdue. I told you my ex called, right? He shouldn’t have my number...”

“You did this for a bigger reason than that. You can hang up on your ex.”

She laughed softly. “Oh, I did. He’s such an idiot—you know what he said? Something like, ‘Gee, Ginger, you’re a little hostile.’” She laughed harder. “Really? Me? Hostile? I wonder why?”

“You did this to show Matt.”

“Show him what? If he wanted to find me, he’d know where to look, right? If he wanted my new number, he knows where I work. No, I’m not punishing Matt.”

“You’re not fooling me,” Grace said. “And good for you! Ha! I did that to Troy, you know. Right before we got engaged. I told him I was pregnant and he said he had a lot to think about, to process, that he needed time to think before he could decide where we go from here. Before he decided? Like it was up to him and didn’t really have much to do with me! I was only the pregnant one, but hey—Troy would figure it out and let me know what we would do next. I told him to take a hike, stay away from me and be sure to let me know when he’d ‘processed.’ I was so done putting up with indecisiveness from a man!”

“I didn’t know you did that.”

“Well, I probably don’t look that stubborn. And you certainly don’t.”

“Oh, I’ll be the first to admit I feel a little sad that it’s been days and Matt hasn’t tried to contact me.”

“Maybe he has the flu. Or was finally put in jail and needs his phone calls to get a lawyer. Hopefully the latter.”

“Grace, this isn’t about him. I don’t think Matt has any ulterior motives. This is about me. I’m never going to that place again—that insecure, lonely, desperate, unloved place. I’m not waiting and hoping. If I ever have a man in my life again, it’s not going to be because I’m fantasizing, it’s going to be because he’s made sure I know it.” She took a breath. “Very likely I will be alone. But with this new start of mine, with a good job, friends, family—I’m not going to be that sad, disappointed person. I don’t want to be that person ever again.”

Grace leaned a hip onto the front counter, half sitting. Her hands were folded across that raised thigh. “Fair enough—you should never be sad or lonely. You’re too wonderful. But I want to tell you something. Coming from me, I don’t know, you might want to get a second opinion since I have so little experience. Troy was my first real love. But there’s something I learned. In love we’re vulnerable, Ginger. It would be nice if it were more certain and immediate, but the truth is—we have our worries, doubts and fears. We have to inch our way along. We have to discover trust. Sometimes we have to just believe in someone. And sometimes we have to know when to let them go.”