A Need So Beautiful (A Need So Beautiful #1)(53)

But the case will be tough. I’ve read about her son in the paper. He killed a cop, and those cases are notoriously tough to win. I pick up the day’s newspaper again, and the man splashed across the front page is Phillip Windmere, a twenty-seven-year-old trust-fund kid turned addict. It says that evidence was just recovered tying him to the murder of a cop two years ago. It says he—

I gasp, pulled back into the reception area with Kendra. “Harlin’s dad,” I murmur.

“Excuse me?”

Heat prickles my skin, stinging just as the message comes to me. “You’ll win,” I say. I cover my mouth, horrified at the words. No! She can’t!

“Win what?”

I try to resist seeing anything more, but it’s like a nail is driven through my head. I scream out in pain and put my palms to my temples. I can feel the room of people watching me. But I can’t stop the visions—the Need won’t let me free this time. And after seeing what happens when I resist, I’m not sure I can go through it again. The pain. The Shadows.

“In three weeks,” I say quietly, unable to look up, “you’ll get a call about a client. His name is Phillip. You’ll be offered a lot of money to defend him.” Tears start rolling down my cheeks. I’m betraying Harlin. I don’t want to say another stupid word. I refuse to help the man who killed Harlin’s father. How could the Need put me in this situation?

I start to sob, almost unable to continue, but then I hear the message and pause. My eyes widen as I look up at Kendra. “You can’t take the case,” I murmur. “Even though it’s going to upset the partners at the firm.”

“What?” The cutting sound of Kendra’s voice tells me she’d never upset the partners, not when she’s jockeying for a position to join them.

A calm stretches over me and I give into the light, letting it form my words. I’m so tired now, but also relieved. I say what I’m supposed to. “You’ve helped many people go free, a few deservedly. But this is different. This man, Phillip Windmere, not only murdered a cop, he also killed a woman a few months back.” I pause. “Like Madeline.”

I know about a case Kendra won fourteen years ago. She had to defend a man who murdered a young woman named Madeline Strait. The man was so clearly guilty, but in the end, Kendra did her job. A mis-served warrant let that monster go free, and before he walked out of the courtroom, he smiled at Kendra and thanked her.

Left in the courtroom with Madeline’s weeping parents, Kendra has been consumed with guilt ever since. She wishes she had never taken that case.

“Madeline,” she repeats softly, obviously flooded with the same memories.

I nod, watching the light around Kendra glow and darken with her sadness. I reach out to put my palm around her wrist. “If Phillip Windmere gets off for this murder, he will kill again. In a few months time he’ll break into a home for drug money and discover a sleeping family there. Children, Kendra. You can’t let that happen. If you defend him, he’ll go free. You have to walk away from the case.”

“The partners . . .” she answers, but it’s robotic, like maybe she knows what she should do.

“It’s right,” I whisper. “You have to do what’s right. Even if it means losing the partnership bid. You’ll save lives.”

Just then the heat becomes intense and I feel my hand burn into her skin. She yanks away, but the colors of my vision are slowly returning. Her eyes are glassy, and I know she’s listening.

I bite down on my lip to keep from bursting into tears. The man who killed Harlin’s dad will pay. No one else will ever be hurt by him.

“It’ll be for Maddy,” Kendra murmurs to herself, staring past me. And in my head I can see that tonight she’ll go home and rethink things. She’ll lose the possibility of her partnership, but she’ll go to a new firm. And eventually . . . she’ll run it.

I don’t even care about the euphoria at this point, in fact, I’m not even sure it’s there. I’m just so overcome with gratitude; I slump down in the hard chair, cover my face and cry.

The Need has helped someone I love. This one time, it gave me a chance to help Harlin. And I can feel that Phillip Windmere will spend the rest of his life in jail.

A few minutes go by, and when I look up, Kendra is gone. She didn’t thank me or say good-bye. I know she probably didn’t even recognize me as she left. I take a deep breath and stand up, my body still shaking. No one so much as glances at me as I walk out, and for a second, I worry that I’m invisible. But I bump into an old man and he curses at me, reaffirming I’m still here.

When I get out into the cool fall air, I wipe at the tears on my cheeks. I notice my hands, the skin now missing from both of my palms. But it was worth it for Harlin, I tell myself as I go down the front steps, heading to the bus stop. Because now no matter what happens to me, things will be better for Harlin after this.

For once, I consider that it might be okay—my destiny. It might be okay if I go into the light. For so many weeks, I’ve fought the Need. And now . . . I’m just so very tired.

Chapter 20

A s I ride the bus toward home, I know that I have to keep what I learned from Harlin. If he knew who killed his dad, he might go after Phillip before the police could. He might do something that could ruin his life. I can’t take that chance.