A Fall of Secrets (A Shade of Vampire #15)(45)

I recalled the ritual Lilith had performed to turn me into a Channeler. Rhys had made it clear that the only way for it to work was for me to be accompanied by someone I loved. I had been too nervous at the time for this to strike me, but now that I thought about it, I realized just how bizarre it was. Love and emotions never came into the equation with black witches. It was all about duty and service to a higher cause. The fact that Lilith relied on the power of love to perform such an important procedure as creating Channelers seemed to be at odds with everything she and the black witches stood for.

What I wouldn’t give to get inside that twisted woman’s head…

My breathing became heavier as soon as I had the thought. Unwanted memories resurfaced, memories of that day in Lilith’s cave when she had turned me into a Channeler. When she had probed my mind, seeing my every thought, my every fear, my most cherished memories… my palms grew sweaty as I remembered how violated I had felt to have her dark presence touching the deepest part of my consciousness.

I shook away the memory, attempting to bury it again, as I always did whenever I recalled that day. But then something made me stop. A sudden flash of recollection—a vision that had entered my mind during those hours I’d been trapped in the cave. A vision that had not been a memory of my own.

A pale brunette young woman with dark brown—almost black—eyes, sitting in front of a mirror and staring at herself.

Although I’d tried to forget everything about the day I’d visited that cave with Rhys, it dawned on me that I had to stop trying to forget. I had to start trying to remember.

Could it be that, as she’d had full access to my mind, I’d had access to hers?

At the time I had been so overwhelmed by her presence in my mind and then afterward I had been so desperate to forget… what I had witnessed from her side had never truly sunk into my consciousness.

I shot to my feet.

I need another memory potion.

Chapter 34: Mona

I didn’t want to go all the way back to The Shade to use Corrine’s spell room, and since it was still dark, it was safe for me to enter the city now and try to find a solution. I tried to think which potion room would be stocked with the greatest variety of ingredients. None would compare to the kitchen of the Adriuses. I already knew where it was located, so once I’d passed through the boundary, I vanished myself straight into the large chamber.

It was the most beautifully designed and well-stocked potion room I had ever been in. A witch’s paradise, this room made Corrine’s pale in comparison. I found all the ingredients I needed to whip up the memory potion in no time.

Once the potion was ready, I poured it into a jug and returned to the beach.

I had made this memory potion much stronger than the one I had taken earlier. I would need to probe into those memories I had fought so hard to lock away. Although witches didn’t often walk along this beach, and especially not among these rocks, I couldn’t take any chances. I would be unaware of my surroundings while under the influence of the potion. I looked around and spotted a little cranny in the side of the cliff about fifty feet away. I hurried toward it, careful not to spill any of the potion in the process, and was pleased to see that it was just the right size for me to slip into. I climbed inside and huddled as far back as I could. Stretching out my legs, my back leaning against the wall, I placed the jug between my legs.

This time before taking a sip, I focused all my concentration on the question: What memories of Lilith did I access that day in her cave?

Reaching for the jug, I took the first sip. I almost choked from how strong I had made the formula. Leaning my head back against the rocks, I closed my eyes.

The vision of her cave came flooding back, the dim lanterns casting shadows around the walls, the rancid smell of her pool, the claustrophobic feel in the chamber from lack of oxygen. I saw myself kneeling before Lilith, her bony hands closing in around my skull…

A young woman sat before a mirror in a large circular bedroom. She wore a long black dress that covered her feet and extended to her wrists. Withdrawing a silk cloth from one of the drawers in her dressing table, she wrapped it around her head and tied it in a knot. When she stood up, her frame was tall and slender. Her forehead creased as she stared at her reflection.

A voice called from outside the room. “Lilith.”

The brunette stood up and opened the door. Another brunette entered the room.

“Sister,” she said, clutching Lilith’s shoulder, “What is taking you so long? We are waiting for you.”

“I’m sorry,” Lilith replied, her voice slightly hoarse.

Lilith’s sister caught her hand and pulled her out of the bedroom, into a corridor outside. They vanished and reappeared outside, on top of a grassy hill. It was nighttime, and there were no clouds in the sky. The moon shone down, thousands of stars glistening. A tall older-looking woman was standing several feet away, gripping the back of a chair that had been set atop the soil. Sitting in this chair was a girl, blindfolded and gagged.

The older woman beckoned the two girls over. “Shana,” the woman called, addressing Lilith’s sister. “Stand next to me.” Shana did as requested. “Lilith, pick it up.” She pointed to the ground and as soon as she did, an ax manifested. Lilith’s hands seemed to tremble slightly as she stared at the sharp blade.

“Yes, Mother,” she replied. Taking a step forward, Lilith gripped the handle and picked it up.