A Desire So Deadly (A Need So Beautiful #2.5)(19)

There is an old psychic named Marceline. She told me about the Forgotten. They are meant to sacrifice their existence in exchange for spreading hope, but if they don’t—they will be trapped here for eternity. They become Shadows—the embodiments of evil who spread misery. Lucy became one so that she would be remembered. She didn’t want to give up her family. She didn’t want to give up me.

I remember. I remember everything. Charlotte, Elise, Claire—they’re all me. Three lifetimes with one soul. But I’m so tired now. I stop fighting; I still and let the current drive me forward and then back. I’m going to die.

Suddenly there’s a flurry of motion around me, and a pressure around my neck pulls me. When I break the surface of the ocean, I choke up the water I swallowed. The air burns my throat, and I reach to hold on to the arm that’s dragging me back toward the beach. The sky is so bright, I’m blinded. But I still remember. I know who—what—I am.

I’m plopped onto the hardened sand, and when Harlin falls down next to me, I realize he’s the one who saved me. My eyes adjust to the light, and he comes into focus. His hair is plastered to his face, his lips slightly blue as he shivers.

“Claire, holy shit, are you okay?” he’s saying as he helps me to sit up. “Don’t freak out, but I followed you. You marched into the water like some warrior, and just when you got on the board, you—”

I reach to put my palm on Harlin’s cheek. At my touch, he takes in a jagged breath. Our eyes lock, and he puts his hand on his chest as if his heart hurts.

“It’s you,” he says softly. “Oh, baby. It’s you.”

Everything strips away, all the pain of separation, loss, and hurt. I lower my arm and smile, my body aching for him. Harlin’s lips start to pull into that slow, sexy smile, and he shakes his head like I’m something else. “I have so much to say,” he murmurs, “but goddamn, you’re distracting.”

“We found each other,” I whisper, getting up on my knees so I can move closer to him. Harlin raises his gaze as I drape my arms over his shoulders, his fingertips digging into my hips as he draws me tighter against him.

“That’s what we do,” he says, staring at my lips like he can’t wait to kiss me. “We find each other. I love you, Claire. I always love you. I don’t know any other way to feel.”

He leans in, brushing his lips over mine in a kiss too maddeningly light to feel. His hand slides up to rest on the back of my neck as he gets to his knees, pressing against me. His lips are soft, and when his tongue grazes my lower lip, I let out a soft moan. I knot my fingers in his hair and kiss him hard, pushing him back in the sand. Harlin feels like home. He is my one constant, my one true need. And when Harlin curses, saying we have to get somewhere private before he goes crazy, we leave my surfboard floating in the ocean and ride off on his Harley.

Harlin is renting an upstairs apartment not far from the beach. He holds my hand as he leads me inside the small studio. There are drawings taped to the walls. Pictures of me in each life. Pictures of others—I’m assuming Forgotten who crossed over. Harlin is cursed to remember them when no one else ever will. He is a Seer, leading them toward their destiny, never letting them give up. But when the Forgotten are gone, they are erased from all minds but his. He carries their grief alone.

Harlin strips off his wet T-shirt and grabs my arm to pull me over. He kisses me again, passionately, urgently. “This wet suit is infuriating,” he mumbles as he glides his hands over the smooth exterior, no contact with skin.

I laugh and take a step back. Harlin grins and goes to lie on the bed, watching as I unzip the gray wet suit. Soon I’m standing there in a bikini, and when I put my knee on the bed to climb up, Harlin nods his approval.

“You drive me mad,” he says. When I’m close enough, he takes my arm to pull me on top of him, immediately kissing my neck, his hands gliding over my skin. It consumes me—his touch, his warmth.

“I am so incredibly in love with you,” I breathe out. Harlin rolls on top of me, and I dig my nails into his back, urging him on. This is just like last time—the last time we saw each other before I extinguished Onika, the Shadow trying to kill me. I needed to cross over to bring on the light that would send Onika into oblivion. And if I hope to save my sister from the evil consuming her, I’ll have to do it again. I’ll have to sacrifice myself. Back in Arizona, my Seer Marceline told me I wouldn’t have to leave again, but it wasn’t true. The universe betrayed me last time. Maybe now I need to take control of my own destiny.

I close my eyes, listening as Harlin whispers in my ear about how much he’s missed me. How he’d die without me. No one but me knows how tender Harlin really is. No one knows him like I do. I look at him again, my eyes fluttering under his touch. Maybe it’s because we’re always saying good-bye—maybe that’s why we’re always burning up for each other. But it doesn’t really matter why we love each other. It just matters that we do.

Harlin is curled up behind me, his chin on my shoulder, in the quiet of his apartment. I’m not sure how much time has passed, but I hope it hasn’t been that long. Because there will never be enough time.

“Why can’t it always be like this?” I say. “Why can’t we just be together, kissing and growing old?”

“It can,” Harlin says in his low voice. “We’ll get on the bike and leave right now. We won’t tell a soul.” He’s willing to give up the entire world just to be with me, but it’s not that easy. He knows that. I turn to him and smile sadly. “Run away with me, Charlotte.”