A Desire So Deadly (A Need So Beautiful #2.5)(16)

He chuckles, and then stretches over to grab the pad. “You have no idea how funny that statement is.” Harlin shifts his position until he’s next to me, our shoulders touching. He holds the sketch pad in front of us.

As he tries to find the page, I admire the lines of his face: the shape of his eyes, the curve of his lips. If I was to imagine the perfect guy—I might just conjure Harlin. Guilt hits me, reminding me that until twenty minutes ago, Ezra was my boyfriend. Technically, he still is. I shouldn’t be thinking about this guy at all. And then there’s what Lucy told me. She knows Harlin—and they’re not friends.

Although he must feel me staring at him, Harlin doesn’t meet my eyes. He taps his finger on the sketch pad, drawing my attention there.

“This was my girlfriend,” he says quietly. My heart dips, and I search the image, a little jealous even though I have no right to be. I’m not sure why he’s showing me this, but I find myself leaning closer to get a better look in the low light of the fire.

“She’s pretty,” I say, noticing the waves of her hair, her delicate features. I wonder if this is Lucy’s sister, and try to see the similarity between them. Harlin stares at the picture with a sad smile.

“She was beautiful.”

I look at him again. The tone of his voice is so final, lost. So incredibly sad—I ache for him. “Do you still love her?” I ask.

“Yeah,” he says quietly, setting the pad aside like he can’t bear to see her face any longer. After a pause, he turns to me. “She always comes back, though.” His hazel eyes are sorrowful, but deep with a passion that reaches out, wrapping me up and pulling me in. This close together, I can barely catch my breath, drawn to him and his pain.

“And every time I find her,” he whispers, trailing his gaze over me, “we fall in love all over again. Helplessly.” He reaches to take my hand and presses it over his heart.

The heat of his skin burns through his shirt, the pulsing beneath fast and strong. He slides his fingers between mine, and the friction is so intimate, my eyelids flutter and I’m positively submerged in desire.

Without thinking, I lean forward and kiss him. The minute my mouth touches his, the world surrounding us disappears. He tastes lightly of cinnamon—his kiss soft and gentle, yet it consumes me. Harlin rests his hand on the back of my neck, and when his tongue grazes my lower lip, my entire body responds.

I’m lost in the passion of the moment, and I push him back on the blanket. “I’ve missed you,” I say, overwhelmed with the feeling. He’s devouring me, and I can’t get a clear thought—it’s all kisses and longing. Harlin’s touch is maddening as he teases with the hem of my tank top. In that moment, I’m willing to give him everything.

But then, in a crashing wave, my sanity returns from wherever it had retreated. I realize where I am and pull back, shocked—somewhat scandalized. I put my fingers on my still-tingling lips, mortified at my behavior. “Whoa,” I say, moving off him. “I’m sorry.”

Harlin, still breathing heavily, looks disoriented. “Believe me,” he says, sitting up, “you have nothing to apologize for. That was—” He stops when I climb to my feet, ready to run out of here.

My life has completely crashed and burned tonight, and this is another complication I’ve added to it. I have to get home. Harlin stands, his eyes wide as he follows me to where I’m bending to get the flashlight.

“You don’t have to go,” he says. “I won’t let you kiss me again.” He smiles, trying to lighten the moment, but it’s too late. My guilt has won out. Harlin reads the thought, and the sadness returns—a dark cloud over everything. “Don’t leave me,” he says in a low voice.

Pain hits my chest, his plea deeper than I can understand. But this is crazy, just like everything else in my life right now. “I have to,” I say regretfully. “This”—I motion around us—“isn’t me.”

Harlin watches me back away, and I’m suddenly so vulnerable—ready to be swept away with him if he’d only just ask. But he doesn’t; he stands there like I’ve broken his heart. “I know exactly who you are, Claire,” he calls from behind me. “I’m just not sure how to tell you yet.”

I pause, glancing back at him. Harlin lowers his head, seeming as devastated as I feel, but there’s something nagging at me. “Why don’t you and Lucy like each other?” I ask.

His head snaps up.

“You’ve talked to her?” he asks. “What did she tell you?”

His mood shifts, his shoulders tense. Lucy wasn’t kidding about their relationship. “She said you used to date her sister. But she broke your heart.”

“Stay away from Lucy,” he says, not disputing my words. “She’s not who she seems. She’s a bad influence, Claire.”

I’m kind of offended on Lucy’s behalf, and cross my arms over my chest. “She’s the one who let me know my boyfriend was cheating on me. And she told me about you, even though you pretended not to know her on the beach last night. Maybe you’re the bad influence.”

Harlin straightens, but I can’t handle the hurt look on his face. I turn and start back to the car, my chest feeling heavier the farther from him I get. By the time I’m at the Jeep, my anger at Ezra and Soleil has been diffused by my own guilt about kissing Harlin. How am I any better than my boyfriend?