A Castle of Sand (A Shade of Vampire #3)(8)

Derek always got a kick out of seeing how terrified I was by the jump, but not this time. He was too wrapped up in his own tension to tease me about it and all I could do was wait for him to let me know what was going through his mind.

Normally, we would’ve taken a leisurely stroll along the rocky boulders and stone path that led from the wall to the lighthouse, but this time, he held me by the waist, pulled me against him and sped us both right to the top of the lighthouse.

I took a deep breath the moment he set me on my feet. He switched the lights on and the octagonal room, which I embraced as my second home in The Shade, lit up. I drew the red drapes covering the large windows set on every other wall. I had to admire the beauty of the starry night sky within the lines that defined the island. From the vantage point of the lighthouse, it was easy to see where the night stopped and where the day began. A bright lantern hooked to the building shone light over the open seas.

I turned around to find Derek lighting up dozens of candles around the room. He then moved toward the fire place and lit up a fire to ensure I didn’t feel cold. I dropped the backpack we had brought with us onto the hardwood floor and made my way toward the velvet couch in the corner of the room.

My eye caught the large leather-bound book set atop the wooden coffee table in front of me. The book contained the chronicles of The Shade. A lot of it was written journal entries—mostly Derek’s. It was a peek into his mind, into the internal torment raging within him over the things he saw, and the things he had to do. I could still remember how terrified he was when he first revealed its contents to me.

“Do you remember what’s written in there?” Derek finally broke the silence that accompanied us since we left the penthouse and headed for the lighthouse.

“Of course.” I nodded before shifting my gaze toward him. I was surprised to find him unbuttoning his navy blue shirt, pulling it away from his body, before tossing it onto the floor. He gave me a sharp narrow-eyed glare.

Embarrassing as it was to admit to myself, it took effort to shift my eyes away from his chiseled torso and up to his face.

“How can you still look at me that way after knowing about everything I did?”

I swallowed hard. “You’re not the same person. Not anymore.”

“Why are you so sure of that?”

I was getting tired of the interrogation. “Where is this coming from, Derek? What happened?”

He took deliberate strides toward me and pushed me onto my back on the couch. My heart skipped a beat. What’s going on?

“Derek?”

He climbed on top of me, his hands creeping up beneath my dress and over my thighs.

“Do you have any idea the kind of self-control I need to have to not suck your blood whenever we make love?” His hands were now on my waist, his thumb brushing over my navel.

“Yes… I know… I’ve seen you struggle not to…”

“No…” he said through gritted teeth. “You don’t know. You won’t ever understand… not unless you become a vampire like me.”

My heartbeat doubled. “Get off me, Derek,” I demanded, firmly placing a palm over his bare chest and trying to push him away from me.

Instead of getting off me, he let his entire weight fall on me, making it difficult for me to breathe. He began whispering in my ear, “You shouldn’t trust me, Sofia. I can lose my mind and break you any time.” His hands were still beneath my dress.

In my mind’s eye, I could see my beautiful sandcastle being hit by its first wave and the despair I felt caused a lump to form in my throat. I then felt another emotion take hold of me. Anger. I could play this game right along with him. If he thinks I’m just going to lie here and tremble, he has another thing coming. It was a struggle to squeeze my hands between us, but I managed to and began unbuttoning his jeans.

“Well, I do trust you, Derek. Deal with it, because really…what can you do about it?”

“Break your trust.”

“Then go ahead,” I challenged him. “Do it.”

I knew I was gaining ground over him when I felt him suck in a breath. His hands tightened over my waist.

“How do you intend to do that, Derek? Break my trust? You’re going to force yourself on me?” I unzipped his jeans. “Feed on me? What?”

“Sofia...”

I gasped when he jolted upward, pulling me like a rag doll in the air and setting me on his lap as he sat up and leaned back on the couch. His breaths were coming in pants, his hands still enveloping my waist. He was struggling to look me in the eye. I, on the other hand, kept a firm glare right at him.

“You’re driving me crazy. What’s wrong with you?” His jaw was tense, his words coming in between deep breaths, his hands moving from my waist down to my thighs.

If it weren’t for the intensity of expression on his handsome face, I would’ve thought he was joking, but he wasn’t. He was dead serious.

“You do realize that becoming a vampire is the only way we could ever be together…”

“And what is all this, Derek? Your way of convincing me?” My hands were laid over his broad shoulders. My blood was boiling inside me, anger still the predominant emotion I had toward him as my jaw tightened.

“You would be able to fight back if you were a vampire. You would be stronger.”