A Blaze of Sun (A Shade of Vampire #5)(34)

“I don’t see why we should prolong her agony…” Sofia stood her ground. “It doesn’t seem right.”

I knew her well enough to know what her greatest weakness was her compassion. She seemed to have a never-ending supply of it and although I respected that about her, there were times when we couldn’t afford to let our compassion get us into trouble. That was exactly what that woman was going to bring: trouble.

Still, I was outnumbered and just by the look on Derek’s face, I could tell that he wasn’t going to abandon Emilia. Not knowing what to do, I stormed out of The Sanctuary. I couldn’t have imagined how big a mistake that was.

I’d barely just walked out the large doors that led outside The Sanctuary when, as I expected, Xavier came running after me.

“Vivienne! What’s going on?” He held my arm to make me face him. We were already in the gardens outside of the white temple-like structure. “It’s unlike you to object to helping someone – anyone – no matter what you feel about the person, and it’s not like you to just storm off like that. What’s wrong?”

I wasn’t being myself and I knew it. I was known in The Shade as the calm and collected one, as the seer, but after my return from hunter territory, I couldn’t find that cool that I always managed to be in. I was afraid. Extremely afraid – in a way I never was before, and I had no idea how to handle it. “You saw how the original vampire killed my father, Xavier.”

The memory of my father’s body, drained of all blood, impaled on a pole in the middle of The Vale’s town square was forever etched in my mind. None of us had any idea how the original vampire did it, but he was able to kill my father even while Gregor was locked up in The Shade. He left a message – carved into my father’s flesh: You chose the wrong side.

I loved my father and I knew that he loved me. I knew that he was willing to start anew, to change. I saw it in his eyes the last time I got to spend time with him. The Elder robbed him of that. I was still mourning the death of my father and my brother, Lucas. I wasn’t about to mourn Derek’s. With Emilia being in the island, I couldn’t shake the feeling that my twin was in grave danger.

“Derek is all I have left, Xavier. I already lost my father and I lost Lucas too… I can’t afford to lose Derek. I won’t have a reason to live if I lose him. I would rather die.”

Xavier was taken aback and I could tell that he was hurt. I knew he cared about me. “Vivienne, I know you love your family. I admire that about you, but you have to open your eyes and start living for yourself at some point. You have people who care about you and have been loyal to you these past years – not just Derek or Gregor or Lucas. Liana, Sofia, me… We all care what happens to you, but it’s not even about that. There’s a reason you’re alive, a reason I’m still alive. You have to keep striving until you’ve fulfilled that reason. Live for you, Vivienne, because damn it… you’re worth living for and you’re worth dying for.”

Xavier gently brushed a loose strand of hair from my face. He leaned over slowly and I was sure he was about to kiss me. I pulled away and shook my head.

“I can’t, Xavier.” I stepped away from him, watching his eyes moisten at my rejection. “I’m sorry. I just… I need to figure out a way to stop Emilia.”

I turned and ran, not exactly certain where to go. I needed space. I needed time to think. Because as much as I hated to admit it, Xavier struck a chord so deep, I had to get away from him to keep myself from crying. I lived the past five centuries for my family, and never for myself. Xavier’s words echoed in my head. Live for you, Vivienne.

I had no idea how to do that, because I really had no idea who I was anymore. I ran for hours. I ran until my thighs began to throb. I ran and ran and ran until I ended up back at The Sanctuary, ready to stab Emilia with a wooden stake, only to find myself frozen and unable to move the moment I lifted the stake in the air.

Emilia’s eyes shot wide open and a manic smile formed on her lips at the sight of me. “It’s been a while, Vivienne. It seems like you’re going to be a lot more trouble for me now.”

I creased my brows, wondering what she was talking about. I tried with all my might to stab her with the stake, but my body wouldn’t budge.

“Don’t bother, Vivienne. You won’t be able to move.” Emilia sat up on the bed. “After you left, they didn’t give me the blood. They were too alarmed by your reaction so they figured I could still wait another day while they discuss what to do with me. I didn’t need the blood to heal. All I needed was The Sanctuary. This is my temple, is it not? My power as a witch comes from this place.”

I was so confused by what she was telling me. I tried to speak but I couldn’t even move my lips. Panic was beginning to creep into every bone in my body, but I didn’t have control. Corrine, where are you?

“You may not recognize my face any longer, but you know me.” Emilia smiled. “I don’t blame you. I’m a far cry from the image you once knew. I was transformed into the woman of Derek’s wildest dreams, his ultimate ideal. No matter what your prophecies say, Seer, Derek does not belong with Sofia. He belongs with me.”

She rose to her feet and began stretching as she walked around the bedroom. I knew her speaking to me wasn’t a good sign, because if she was confident enough to tell me her deepest secrets, it meant that she was planning to get rid of me.