You've Got Fail(25)
“So, it’s her?” Gary put her hand to her mouth. “I knew it! She’s been talking to him through his dick. Maybe when he’s asleep or when I’m not around.” Her crazy eyes watered in panic. “What do I do?”
“Hmm.” Scarlet tapped her finger on her chin. “The curse itself is pricy. Luckily, the cure is easy and cheap.”
“Really? What is it?” Gary grabbed Scarlet’s forearm. “Oh my god, do I have to cut it off?”
Jason groaned, and the men nearby shifted uncomfortably. My cock, already in little guy mode from the panic-inducing crazy eyes—switched over to invisible guy mode. Todd edged away from Gary, his shark teeth frozen in an awkward smile.
“No!” Scarlet shook her head. “Of course not.”
“Oh, good. I’m not supposed to use anything that might be deemed a weapon. There was this misunderstanding in college, you see, where my boyfriend claimed I’d tried to cut off his third nipple because—”
“Do you have any garlic?” Scarlet drew Gary’s focus back to the clusterfuck of now instead of the one of yesteryear.
“Maybe. I can ask our cook.”
“Great. Get some. Once your boyfriend falls asleep tonight, stuff the garlic under the mattress in the general area where the offending body part is. The smell of the garlic will close the door she opened with the spell. In the morning, the connection will be broken.”
Tears gleamed in Gary’s eyes. “Oh my god. Thank you so much!” She clutched Scarlet’s hand and squeezed.
“And one more thing you should do. To keep everything on the up and up, you need to address this at your next doctor’s visit. Or if you have a therapist or someone you talk to. Have it documented, you know? In case something comes up about it later.”
“Right.” Gary nodded. “I can do that. I go to a therapist twice a week.” She blinked the doll eyes slowly. “Not that I’m crazy or anything.”
I had no doubt Gary’s follow-up laugh would also haunt my dreams for years to come.
Scarlet smiled and patted her on the arm. “Of course you’re not. Just explain all this on your next visit, and I think you’ll be on the right road.”
Scarlet had salvaged it. It wasn’t good, but she managed to get in the therapy angle at the very last minute. I couldn’t look at Jina, though I sensed her thumbs flying across her screen in my peripheral vision.
Gary wiped at the corners of her eyes. “Thanks again. So much. This has been so, so helpful.”
“Of course.” Scarlet stepped back, the spotlight around her fading as people went back to their own chatter. “Thanks for the question.”
A man strode up and took Gary’s hand. “Hey, babe. You ready to head out?”
All the men who’d heard Gary’s tale pitied the shit out of that poor guy. He clearly had no idea his ex had been using his dick as a conduit to ruin his current relationship.
Gary gave Scarlet a hug, then took her boyfriend’s arm and let him lead her toward the door.
“Good luck.” Scarlet waved them away.
As soon as Gary was out of earshot, Jason let out a guffaw. “What in the ever-loving fuck was that?”
“The crazy eyes on that one.” Todd looked two seconds away from making the sign of the cross.
Jina stopped typing and stowed her phone in her sweats. “Thank you.” Her face impassive, she turned and strode off through the throng of beautiful people.
I did the only thing that seemed appropriate—grabbed two flutes of champagne and downed one after the other as Scarlet frowned at me.
10
Scarlet
Willis almost toppled into a gaggle of models. Jason caught his arm and set him upright before any runway careers were shattered.
“Watch out, big guy.” Jason patted him on the back.
Willis tried to straighten his glasses. He was a darling drunk, but it was time for us to leave. He’d begun sucking down drinks as soon as Jina walked away from us. I’d done the best I could with Gary, but even I could tell that maybe I should have tried a different, non-garlicky tack.
“Could you help me get him to a cab?” I asked Jason.
“Yeah, no problem.” Jason wrapped his arm around Willis’s shoulder. “Let’s blow this taco stand.”
“Commander.” Willis nodded and let Jason lead him through the crowd. “Long live the Vocknar Fleet.”
I followed and eyed the myriad opportunities to snag wallets and jewelry. But I’d promised Willis I wouldn’t. Damn it. Not that he’d know if I just snagged a bracelet or two. I reached for a golden bangle on a woman near the door, but pulled back at the last second.
Willis was ruining my mojo.
The cool night air kissed my skin as we emerged from the stuffy atrium. Jason shuffled Willis down the front walk toward a waiting line of cabs and cars.
I stopped and considered my options. Go back inside and steal enough to try and make a dent in Hannah’s debt, or make sure Willis got home safely. The pull of protecting my sister was strong, enough so that I took a step backward. But when Willis turned to look at me, his glasses just as lopsided as his smile, a nagging warmth erupted in my chest. I tapped my clutch, the weight of Todd’s wallet giving me the hope of instant cash.