Worth the Risk(86)

My heart swells and soars, and yet I meet every word he says with a cautious trepidation. The ball is in my court when it comes to us, and I don’t know how to respond.

“Gray . . . I . . .”

“I know.” He chuckles. “It’s a lot . . . especially coming on the heels of the other day, of the shit I accused you of. But Christ, Sid, I’ve been so damn miserable.”

He reaches for the nape of my neck and pulls me in for a kiss that reflects the despair it seems we both felt being at odds with each other. While he might not think he can express himself with words, the ones he is speaking are saying a lot.

The kiss he’s giving me is saying even more.

A throat clears, and I try to jump back, but Grayson just holds me in place.

“Gray?”

“Dad.” His name is a warning. “Can’t you see I’m trying to kiss a girl here?”

Chief chuckles. “As long as I’m paying for the roof over your head, there will be no kissing any girls in this house,” he says in the most fatherly of tones, I can assume he’s perfected over the years.

We both laugh, and the groan that Grayson emits when he steps back and gives his dad the look of death has my cheeks heating.

“Good to see that you two are getting along,” Chief says with a knowing smile. “Gray, the station keeps calling your cell.” He holds it out.

“Christ,” Grayson mutters as he dials, but I can already see the transformation from the Grayson I know to Grayson in command.

“This is Malone,” he says when whoever answers picks up. “He’s what? How long will he be out for? Okay. Okay. I can cover, but I need to check about Luke.”

“It’s fine,” Chief interjects, and Grayson nods, glancing at the clock on the wall.

“I’ll be there in about fifteen, twenty at the most. Is that good?” There is another stretch of silence before he says, “Okay. Yes. Ten-four.” His laugh rings out. “I know you do.”

Grayson’s already in motion when he ends the call. “Luke?” he calls out the open door before turning back to us. “Charlie came down with the stomach flu mid-shift. They need someone to cover.”

“It’s fine,” Grayson’s dad says. “We’ll get Luke home so he sleeps in his own bed and is ready for school tomorrow.” He winks at me. “It isn’t the first time we’ve had a child.”

I smile at him and then follow after Grayson.

“Grayson.” He stops when I say his name, and turns to look at me.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I seem to be saying that an awful damn lot around you.” But his smile is there with his words, and for a split second, I feel like all is right with this world.

“You don’t need to apologize. Just be safe.”

“Always.”

I watch the chaos unfold. The frenzied hugs and kisses between Luke and Grayson that represent an obvious routine. Selfishly and ridiculously, a part of me is jealous of the attention that I’d have a share in, too, if I were part of the equation.

But I’m not.

That thought makes me just that much more insecure, since it comes on the heels of the revelation that I’ve fallen in love with Grayson Malone.

“Sidney . . . you’ll get home okay?”

“Go,” I say as he grabs his wallet and keys and shoves them into his pockets. “I’ll be fine.”

“Only if you’re sure.”

“Yes.”

“Walk me out?”

I wasn’t expecting that, but since I’m still craving that connection with him, I nod. We go out the front door, and the minute it shuts behind us, his lips meet mine in the softest of kisses. It’s slow and tender and makes every part of my body vibrate with the bittersweet knowledge that this is what I’ll be walking away from when the contest is over. A man whom I never expected but now I don’t want to figure out how to get over.

When he pulls back, it takes me a second to get my footing because he just kissed me like he already knows when I know he doesn’t.

“Sorry that I’m leaving you here with my family.” He runs a hand down my arm and links his pinky with mine.

“It’s okay. I kind of like them.”

“I’m also sorry we didn’t get to finish our conversation.” He squeezes that pinky around mine.

“We said what we needed to say,” I murmur.

“You’re amazing.” His words startle me as he presses a chaste kiss to my cheek and then heads down the pathway.

You’re amazing, too.

And it’s the first time he’s ever walked away from me that I’ve felt uncertainty. He just took a huge step in opening up to me . . . and I didn’t do so in return. I’m still hiding something from him because I’m scared to death of ruining this feeling.

He said we’re just going to go along with whatever this is. Day by day. I’m not na?ve enough to think that day by day means I don’t have to tell him what’s going to happen after the winner is announced.

I know I need to. I know I should have. But this all happened so fast that now I’m the one stuck being the asshole.

When I walk back into the house, Grayson’s dad is standing there waiting for me.

“You okay?” he asks, eyes searching mine in a way that tells me he sees way more than I want him to.