Worlds Collide (The Land of Stories #6)(66)

“Oi! Codfish!” Peter Pan called down to Captain Hook. “Miss me?”

The sight of Peter Pan made Captain Hook growl like a wounded animal.

“Peeeter Paaan?” he roared. “What are you doing in the Otherworld?”

“I couldn’t let you have all the fun without me, now could I?” Peter Pan taunted him. “Leave these Marines alone, Captain. Finish your fight with me before you pick another one.”

Captain Hook glared at the Boy Who Wouldn’t Grow Up with so much hatred, it was a miracle his face didn’t catch fire.

“Smee, drop a ladder!” Captain Hook ordered.

Mr. Smee rolled a rope ladder off the side of the ship and it touched the ground. Captain Hook grabbed hold of the ladder and pointed to the Dolly Llama with his hook.

“After that ship!” he commanded.

Peter Pan stuck his tongue out at Captain Hook. Admiral Jacobson spun the Dolly Llama’s wheel, and the ship rose higher into the sky, with the Jolly Roger soaring after it. The flying monkeys also flew after the Dolly Llama to assist the Jolly Roger, but the creatures came to an abrupt stop when the Ziblings’ colorful jet zipped into their path. The superheroes and their adoptive father waved at the monkeys from inside the cockpit.

“Attention, Hominidae-Accipitridae hybrids,” Professor Wallet said through the aircraft’s speaker. “Resist your animalistic urges and spare yourselves from a cataclysmic fate!”

The flying monkeys scratched their heads and looked at one another in confusion. The Ziblings rolled their eyes at the professor’s terminology, and Bolt took the microphone from him.

“In translation: Just ’cause monkey see, don’t mean monkey should do,” Bolt said. “Ditch the flying ship and come with us! We’ll make it worth your while!”

Morph transformed into a pile of bananas to tease the monkeys. The winged creatures were tempted to go after the Ziblings’ jet, but they glanced down at the Wicked Witch for permission first.

“Tear that flying chunk of metal apart!” the Wicked Witch ordered them.

Since the flying monkeys were under the witch’s spell, they had no choice but to obey her. The winged creatures hurtled after the Ziblings’ jet with their claws raised and their sharp teeth exposed. The superheroes yanked on their aircraft’s gears, and the jet zoomed into the clouds.

“I DARE SAY, MERRY MEN,” shouted a boisterous voice. “WHAT SORT OF SELF-RESPECTING MAN REFERS TO HIMSELF AS A WINKIE?”

The Wicked Witch looked down Fifty-Ninth Street and saw Robin Hood, Little John, Alan-a-Dale, Will Scarlet, and Friar Tuck standing at Columbus Circle. The circle was a New York City landmark and had a tall statue of Christopher Columbus in the center of a roundabout connecting Fifty-Ninth Street to Broadway.

“WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT HIDEOUS WOMAN THE WINKIES TAKE ORDERS FROM,” Robin Hood said. “DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE IN LOXLEY CALL A WOMAN WITH ONE EYE, TERRIBLE CLOTHES, AND A HAGGARD FACE?”

“I don’t know, Robin,” Little John said. “What do you call her?”

“SINGLE!” the Prince of Thieves declared.

The Merry Men burst into a fit of haughty laughter. The Wicked Witch grunted at the insult, and steam piped out of her ears.

“After those arrogant men!” she ordered.

Also under the witch’s spell, the Winkie soldiers immediately sprinted down the street and dashed after the Prince of Thieves. The Wicked Witch sat sidesaddle on her magic umbrella and flew above her soldiers. Robin Hood and the Merry Men hightailed it out of Columbus Circle and ran north on Broadway, leading their followers to another part of the city.

As the Queen of Hearts watched the Wicked Witch and the Winkies race off, a stiff hand unexpectedly tapped her on the shoulder.

“Excuse me, ma’am?” asked a voice behind her. “Would you happen to know how to get to Grand Central Station from here?”

The Queen of Hearts turned around and discovered the Tin Woodman standing behind her. The queen had never seen a man made of metal before, and a delighted squeal escaped her lips. She stepped toward the metal man with eyes like a predator.

“My word, what a remarkably rare head you have,” she said, and stroked the side of his face. “It would be a wonderful addition to my collection.”

“Come again?” the Tin Woodman asked.

“GUARDS, SEIZE THIS MAN AT ONCE!” the Queen of Hearts shouted. “AND OFF WITH HIS HEAD!”

“And this is why you don’t ask for directions in strange cities,” the Tin Woodman said to himself.

The Ozian ran from the deranged queen as fast as his tin legs would carry him. He took a sharp turn on Fifth Avenue, heading south into the city, and the card soldiers hurried after him. The Queen of Hearts snapped her fingers, and two of her soldiers joined hands, scooped her up, and carried her with them as they chased after the Tin Woodman.

Unbeknownst to the Literary Army, they had just been strategically lured away by Conner’s friends and characters—and the villains had taken the bait like a hungry school of fish. Now that the Jolly Roger was flying after the Dolly Llama, the flying monkeys were following the Ziblings, the Winkies were running after the Merry Men, and the card soldiers were chasing the Tin Woodman, the general and the Marines were left completely unattended on Fifty-Ninth Street.

The Marines looked around the street in total bewilderment—how had they gone from facing certain execution to freedom so quickly?