When Our Worlds Stand Still (Our Worlds #3)(72)
By the time I’m on his doorstep, it’s eight at night. Dan opens the door, a dumbfounded look on his face. I shrug as if my presence needs no explanation. We don’t talk about Violet once, but his pain is strong. He’s loved her since freshman year of high school. Her pushing him away isn’t going to stop those feelings. We eat pizza and play video games like we use to when girls weren’t so complicated.
When I wake up the next morning, he’s on the loveseat across from me. His head hangs low, and his giant hands envelop his neck
“I don’t know what to do, man. I always have such great advice for everyone, but now on the cusp of losing her, I don’t know what I need to do.”
“I don’t think there’s really anything for you to do,” I answer his concern.
His head whips up and he groans as he leans against the cushion behind him. “That’s it, then, huh? I just let her go.”
“Without trying to sound completely cliché, –and if you tell anyone I even said this, I will kick your ass– but maybe you need to let her go so she can find her way back to you.”
“Did you just ‘if it’s meant to be, she’ll find her way back to you’ me? Seriously? I can’t sit here while she’s out riding strange dick to get it out of her system. She either wants me or she doesn’t, and if she doesn’t, then fine. I’ll deal. I’ll move on, but I’m not going to sit around waiting for her to decide if I’m good enough for her.”
“You should make that clear to her.”
“I did. A part of me thought it would snap her stubborn ass out of this funk she’s in, but it didn’t. She’s spewing some crazy shit about how love is a joke, and there’s no point in trying anymore.” He shrugs. “I’m done talking about it. I can’t think about it anymore.”
“Okay, but know–”
“I know. You’re here. It’s about damn time I’m not the one giving you advice. Even with all this shit with Vi, I’m happy for you and Ken. The world sort of makes sense now.”
“You’re such a sap.” I shake my head. Even in his crappy situation, Dan sees the good.
“Are you sure you don’t want to ask Violet to group?” Bea questions as we head out of the café and walk down the bustling sidewalk toward the poor excuse for a building on the corner.
“Things have been strained between Violet and me. There’s no doubt she would come if I asked, but we’ve been keeping our distance,” I explain, fiddling with the strap of my purse.
“I thought you two had worked things out.” Alex bumps her elbow into my side.
To be honest, I’m not sure what’s going on between us. I’ve kept quiet on my opinion of her choices, and she’s been supportive from afar. Last week, she’d come to my biggest performance of the year, but I’m not sure if her motivation had been friendship or obligation.
“It’s not that easy. I felt weird asking her to come when things are unsettled between us.”
“Well, you have us.” Bea wraps her arms around my shoulders and tugs my body against hers.
“I asked Graham. He has baseball, so …” I hold the door open for the two of them, dismissing his absence.
As we enter, Dr. Wilson is filling a cup with coffee. Bea introduces her sister. When Dr. Wilson’s attention turns to me, I shrug, filling my own cup and taking my usual chair. The sisters take the two across from me.
“Thank you to all who’ve come out today. Sometimes it’s strange to discuss the inner workings of our mind with those we love. We’re afraid of judgment, ridicule, and more importantly, shame,” Dr. Wilson explains, searching the room for any sign of such. She takes a deep breath and releases. “For as long as I’ve been doing this, the one day that sticks out in my mind is this one. It’s where we see the most growth, and we get to experience the strength of those we’ve gotten to know quite well.”
Dr. Wilson ghosts her hand to Bea. She nods as she rises to stand. She peers down at Alex.
“Some days, I need you to release me. Give me a chance to slip up, make a mistake here and there. It’s because of you, I feel strong enough to wake up in the morning.” Appreciation radiates through every word she says to her sister, expressing and reliving her past for the rest of us to hear. “There was a time pulling the covers off my body was unbearable. It physically pained me to have others’ eyes on me. You taught me to push that demon away. You’re the reason why I’m standing here, alive, today.” Bea sits back down, taking her sister’s hand in hers. “It’s okay now. You don’t need to watch me every second of every day.”
Alex wipes the tears from her sister’s face. The small gesture says everything we need to know.
“I have been so afraid to lose you,” Alex whispers, brushing tears from her cheeks.
“I know you have, but I’m okay. For the first time in the past year, I can honestly say I’m okay.” Bea nods.
“This brings up an interesting point,” Dr. Wilson asks, sensing Bea and Alex’s need for a shift of attention. The two of them sit, hands clasped, listening. “For those closest to the victims, how hard is it to cope with what has happened to them?”
“Impossible,” a familiar voice speaks from behind me, followed by the sound of the metal door slamming shut.