When Our Worlds Stand Still (Our Worlds #3)(70)

“He’ll be by later, but I’m on my way out of town and wanted to see Ben before I left,” I explain, walking past her as she locks the door behind us.

“He’s probably working on his homework.” She smiles at the present in my hand. “Go on in. He’ll be happy to see you. You and Graham are the only things he ever talks about some days.”

Ben is exactly where Betty said he would be. A pencil in his left hand, his head on his other, and a book on the table.

“Hey, buddy.” I slip into the seat next to him. His eyes fall to the package, then search the space behind us. “He’s not with me. Graham will be over later, I’m sure.”

“You came without him?” he asks, his voice shaky and unsure.

“Well, I was thinking the other day. When Graham and I were apart, I sometimes found myself missing him, so I’d look at old pictures.”

“Why were you apart? Didn’t you love each other?” The innocence of his question is maddening.

“Sometimes it’s not always that easy, but anyway.” I push the Batman covered gift to him. He rips it open and flips through the pages. “That way, when you miss Graham, you have something to remind you of him.”

Ben’s tiny fingers trace over the pictures in the scrapbook. His movement comes to a complete stop, telling me exactly what page he’s on. I have no doubt he’s reached the picture. The home takes great care to preserve anything from these kids’ past before coming here, and Betty has been gracious enough to give me a photo of Ben’s mother.

“I miss her.” He rests his head on my bicep.

“It’s okay to miss people.” My arm dips under his chin and circles above his head. “But now, when you’re overwhelmed, flip through the pages. You’ll find comfort in them.” My fingers rub soothing strokes through his curly mane. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

I kiss Ben on the top of the head, and without waiting for a response, walk to the door where Betty waits. Ben looks through the pages, running his fingers across every picture.

“What you did for him …” Betty begins to say. Tears flood her eyes.

“He means everything to Graham, which means he means everything to me. I don’t want him to be alone here. I know you guys do your best, but it’s not the same as what he deserves.”

She nods her head slowly. “You know, you’d be a great candidate for foster care.” Betty shrugs and grins at me.

The seed she’s planted in my head is quick to grow.





Once Kennedy leaves, I finish studying. After lunch and a quick run, I shower and check in with Betty to make sure it’s okay to go see Ben. She likes to warn her volunteers about important events in the kids’ lives, and make us aware of any different or difficult situations. Some have rough nights filled with nightmares, and like everyone else, they’re simply allowed to have a bad day.

Ben is on his bed, wearing a teeth baring grin and holding a blue book above his face.

“What you looking at?”

I lay down next to him and recognize a picture of the back of my high school baseball jersey.

“Where’d you get this?” I flip the page and encounter another photo of me. Ben and I inspect every page until we reach the end. The last few pages are photos of whom I assume is his mom. They have the same kind eyes.

“Kennedy came by.” He closes the book and hugs it to his chest.

“She did?” My eyebrows wrinkle.

“Gave me this.” He hands me the album.

“Of course, she did,” I whisper to myself.

“Why’d she have to die? Why was I left here alone?” he murmurs, but his words are loud and clear. He rolls away from me and curls up in a ball. The silent racks of his chest have me fighting my own emotions.

“I know what it’s like to wonder why. Why me? Why can’t he love me?” I breathe deep, hoping to calm myself. “Those are the things I asked myself growing up, but, buddy, someone else’s actions have nothing to do with the love your mom had for you. She loved you.” I reach for the book and flip the pages until I find the photos of Ben with his mom. “Look at this.” He faces me and stares at his mom. “You see her? That’s the one person in the world who loves you most. Her being gone doesn’t change the amount of love she has for you.” Ben’s small fingers skim over the photo of him as a baby, cradled in his mother’s arms. I hug him to my side. “You’re not alone in this.”

“Graham.”

My name smacks both of us back to reality. Betty’s at the door, watching us.

“Come to my office. I need to talk to you.”

After promising Ben I’ll be right back, I walk down the hallway. My mind’s not in the right place when I enter the office. Betty’s behind her desk, files piled high over every surface. She flips through one in particular.

“I need to thank you.” Betty clears her throat. “Ben has been one of our rougher cases, and in a short amount of time, you’ve managed to lighten his world a little bit. Not to mention Kennedy, who somehow knows exactly what he needs without him saying so. She’s a special girl.”

“The book.”

“In places like this, sometimes it’s hard to give the kids enough direct attention to remind them of their lives before these four walls. You two have given that to Ben.”