When Our Worlds Collide (Our Worlds #1)(54)
I lean across the table towards Violet to make sure no one hears me. “What’s Craig talking about?” I ask her. I can hear the panic in my voice.
“Apparently, at the beginning of the season Amanda made an agreement with Graham that they would hook up before each of his games. I guess it’s sort of became a twisted good luck charm for him. Kind of disgusting if you ask me,” Violet looks at me sympathetically knowing very well that I have admitted liking Graham just the night before. “Sorry.” She mouths.
It’s like a car accident making it impossible to look away. Amanda struts over to Graham, then like real whore sits down on his lap. Oh God! Seriously? I can’t compete with that. I can tell he’s tense as she runs her hand over his head messing with the ends of his hair where it curls up just a tad in the back. Technically Graham and I aren’t anything. I’m not under the impression that one night fooling around would turn into an everlasting thing. I’m not that naive. He’s Graham Black for crying out loud.
Amanda’s lips move down to Graham’s ear. She’s whispering something to him, something to do with laying down on any piece of the earth that he chose more than likely. Not being able to stand watching the scene, I get up from the table and throw my tray of food into the garbage before slamming it down.
This is my entire fault. Getting involved with someone like Graham is only going to lead to disappointment. Guys like him don’t bat eyelashes at girls like me. It seems that ever since he showed a hint of interest that the whole lot of them started noticing me. Its unwanted attention and I’d prefer for it to go back to the way it was before knowing what I know now. Before I danced on that stage, before the accident, and before that stupid party everything was normal. No one noticed me and I’m beginning to realize that I prefer that life better than this one.
This one is full of jealousy and heartache. That’s how I feel when Amanda is near Graham. Pure jealousy is evident, perhaps a hint of rage. I want nothing more than to reach across the table and yank her off of his lap by her perfect straight blonde hair. I can’t because of some dumbass idea that I put out into the universe. Graham agreed to it though. Why would he agree with me? He’s clearly just as agitated by the way Craig paws all over me, so why put himself through the torture? Unless he’s enjoying being able to have all the girls fall at his feet knowing that I’m still going to be there. Jackass.
“Asshole,” I utter under my breath slamming the rubber bottom on my crutch against a locker.
“Who are you yelling at?” the voice behind me makes me jump. I can recognize his voice in a crowded room. It’s the familiar masculine and roughness to it that gives him away.
“Just leave me alone, Graham,” I beg him purposefully avoiding looking in his eyes. I know once he sees the hurt on my face then he will know exactly what I have been thinking.
“What just happened didn’t mean…” he trails off lost in the thought before I cut him off.
“You don’t need to explain it to me. I should have expected it. I should have seen it coming.” I slowly make my way back to my locker with him close on my heels.
“Excuse me?” Graham grabs my arm gently to force me to slow down. I continue to avoid eye contact with him until he gently grabs my chin giving me no other choice. “What do you mean you should have expected this from me?”
“Amanda and you are made for each other. Go have fun and do what you’ve always done, Graham. You don’t owe me anything.” The words come out before I have a chance to filter them. I’ve been telling him that since the accident. It’s became my defense mechanism to fending off letting Graham fully in.
Graham looks down at me running his hands down onto my shoulders and the length of my arms before speaking. He looks frustrated as he grits his teeth and moves his hands off of my arms. “Wow! It’s nice to know that it only took one day. Hell, not even one day for you to jump to a conclusion about me,” Graham rubs his hand over his face. “It wasn’t the outside that would have destroyed us Kennedy. Our only obstacle was you and your doubt about me as a person. That’s all and nothing else. Let’s not confuse the truth.”
We stood in the middle of the hallway staring at each other. Everything he’s saying is true. I know it now by the way he’s looking at me. I can see the hurt in his eyes and I don’t know how to make it better. I’m not even sure if I meant what I said. It seemed like I needed to protect my heart before he dug further in.
Setting him up for failure is what I had done. Everything in my body and heart tells me to believe in him and trust that he is the guy who I want him to be. My head tells me to run in the opposite direction of wherever he is. I don’t want to be vulnerable to someone who could easily ruin me. Graham’s that guy, the kind that doesn’t even understand the effect he has over people.
“You’re right,” I respond shaking my head looking down at my shoes.
“That’s the thing though, Kennedy. I don’t want to be right about this. I want you to look me in my eyes and see that guy that you keep talking about. I know that guys in here,” Graham points at his chest. “Don’t turn your back on me before you even give me a chance to prove it.”
The hallway slowly fills with students who are oblivious to what is conspiring between Graham and me rushing to make it to their next class. Several people brush up against us. Neither of us shifts from where our feet are planted.