When Our Worlds Collide (Our Worlds #1)(53)

Quit grinning at me like you know what you do to me.

This is a freaking disaster.

This whole anonymous thing is my idea. I suggested it knowing that it would be the best thing for “us”. Secretly I was hoping that Graham would eventually protest---demanded that we announce to the world that he adores me and all that other sort of romantic crap that only happens in movies and books. Things like that don’t happen to girls like me. It’s not my reality.

He knew just as well as I did that if word got out that we were…getting to know each other seems to be the only appropriate way to explain our situation, that we would get ripped to shreds. Someone will find a way to ruin it before it even got started making it more complicated than is necessary. The thing is that I’m not under any illusion that I fit in with Graham’s group of friends. When I was spending time with Craig I felt the same way. It didn’t matter who my best friend is or what guy is beside me I will still be out of place, lost in between the crowds.

Lying to Violet is the hardest part. She knows most of the gory details of him staying at my house. She’s not an idiot. She knows something is going on. She just thinks that Graham is keeping his distance. I reiterated this exact thing to her this morning when she came and picked me up from school. I had to forcefully remove Graham from my living room in order not to get caught in the act. He begged for me to ride to school with him today. After explaining how that will look he reluctantly understood, but not before pinning me against the kitchen counter. I could get used to kissing him.

“Kennedy? Kennedy? Did you not hear what I just said?” Violet’s voice rings through my ears drawing me out of my little daydream of Graham.

I’m completely enamored with that boy. I can at least admit to that. It has everything to do with his smile and the way his eyes light up when he truly thinks something is funny. When he’s frustrated, he runs his hand over the top of his head and down his face. He’s gorgeous to the point that at times it hurts to look at him. He is the God damn sun for crying out loud.

“Oops, zoning out. Sorry, what’s going on?” I look across to Violet who’s giving me her ‘what the hell is wrong with you’ look. I just shrug trying to brush it off as nothing. I don’t think a lunch table full of Graham’s friends is the most appropriate spot to announce that Graham stayed the night for the second time and this time there was a lot more than good conversation.

“Do you want to ride with me to the game tonight?”

“Actually, I can’t. I told Mr. Cook that I’d take some extra photos for the newspaper. I’m going to head to the field early,” I explain. Graham’s head jerks up catching my attention. He smiles at me. I know what he’s thinking because I was thinking the same thing when I agreed to go. We can’t spend much time together while we are around all of his friends. This will allow us to be a smidge closer to each other than what we are willing to allow right now.

“Have fun with that,” Violet rolls her eyes at me jokingly. She doesn’t understand my need to participate in school groups like newspaper or debate. She’s a social butterfly to her core. She can’t find time for anything that didn’t involve the opposite sex.

I feel Craig’s arm reach around my shoulders. “Trust me, she will,” he says suggestively to everyone who is willing to listen gaining a few snickers. It’s irritating to have some horny teenage boy assume that he’s going to be the reason behind your supposed fun. It’s worth it to see Graham tense up across the table from me as Craig fawns all over me. I can tell that his shoulders are tight through his shirt and he is clearly gritting his teeth against each other sending death glares straight at Craig. No one notices this odd behavior. No one is watching as closely as I am.

I wiggle Craig’s arm off of me sliding down the bench to try to prove a silent point to Graham. Craig isn’t thrilled with my distance, but he quickly recovers. I don’t want the lines to get crossed for Craig. I notice the way Graham’s shoulders slump down in a relaxed manner as he is back to talking to Dan about their game tonight.

Tonight’s game is all anyone is talking about. They are going up against one of our rivals. Our school has a lot of them according to what Graham told me last night. The way Graham talks about baseball is infectious. It’s hard to rip my eyes away from him as he gets more excited about pitching tonight.

I’m forced back to the worst kind of reality when Amanda waltzes in the cafeteria wearing one of Graham’s baseball t-shirts that has his name and number on the back in bold lettering. It’s clearly two or more sizes too big making it apparent who it originally belonged to. She made do by tying it up in the back causing it to ride up exposing a considerate amount of her tanned stomach. Several guys at the table hoot and holler in her direction making rather disgusting remarks to Graham about “his girl” as they so clearly put it.

My stomach feels as if it’s up in my throat. This should have been expected. Through everything I forget that Graham has a regular arrangement with Amanda. I try not to think about it suppressing the thoughts that are now haunting my mind. Graham’s the most popular sought after guy in our school and I’m me. I can’t hold a torch to someone like Amanda who puts it all out there for the taking. It’s well known that Graham has taken his fair share of her.

“Looks like Amanda’s coming to make good on your deal,” Craig smirks at Graham reaching out to give him a fist bump. Graham looks instantly uncomfortable, but slowly puts his fist against Craig’s. He glances down the table sympathetically but discreetly watching me. Silently I know he’s apologizing for what is about to happen. I don’t think I’m ready for this.