When I Was Yours(87)

And that’s where her power lies.

It’s the power that Ava has always had over me.

She has always had the ability to cut me hard, and there is f*ck all I can do about it. I can hate her, loathe her, but at the end of the day, buried deep down in there, I’m still that little kid who just wants his mother to love him. And I’m the one who gets cut each time he remembers she doesn’t love him and never has.

I know that. And I’ll live with that.

Because living my life without Ava in it will make things a whole lot easier.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She frowns.

Denial—Ava’s first line of defense. And it’s not because she’s worried about hurting me. It’s because she’s worried about losing something—the part in her latest film…or more, losing the studio.

Everything always comes back to the f*cking studio.

I lean forward, putting my arms on the table, linking my fingers together. “I’m not here to play games. Admit it or don’t—I really don’t care. I know the truth because I know you. I should have figured it out years ago. That was my mistake, a mistake I won’t make again.

“Ten years ago, you stole from me the most precious thing in the world. You used the love Evie had for her dying sister to get what you wanted from me. I knew you were evil, Ava. I just didn’t know how evil.

“So, now, I’m here to return the favor, eye for an eye and all that. Your career is over. The film is gone. And all future films with Gunner Entertainment are gone. The studio is gone. I had already planned on giving it to Richard, but being the stupid f*ck that I am, I was going to give Richard the studio with the terms that he keep you on with a full-time contract. That’s gone now. And you know, without me, you won’t get a foot in the door there. Or anywhere. Because you’re old and washed up, Ava. And I will personally ensure that you never work in this town again.” I push my chair out, standing.

She still hasn’t said a word. She’s just staring at me, expressionless.

“Taking Evie from me bought you ten more years at the studio. I hope they were worth it. Goodbye, Ava.” I turn and start to walk away.

I hear the scrape of her chair against the ground.

“I will fight you on this, Adam, and you know I’ll win,” she says from behind me. “You can’t just take my studio from me.”

Stopping, I turn back. “I can do whatever the f*ck I want because the studio isn’t yours. It never was.”

“It was always mine.”

“Then, you should have done a better f*cking job at ensuring that you got your name on the deed!” I yell.

She lets out a shallow laugh and sits back down on her chair, casually tossing her arm around the back of it. “Have your little show, Adam. Stomp your feet. Give your little speech. I’m not worried. You know why? Because you’ll be back. You always come back. And I always get what I want.”

I look at her, releasing a tired breath. “You’re right. I always say I’m going to leave. Always say no to that favor you want. No to that part in a film you desire. No to that problem you need me to sort. But then I always come back. Always do that favor. Always give you that part in the film. Sort that problem for you. But the thing is, Ava”—I take several steps toward her until I’m looming over her—“people have a f*cking limit, and I reached mine when I found out that you stole my wife from me! Now, if I can’t make it any clearer that you and I are done, then you can take my extended silence as my answer.”

Then, I walk out of that house with the sounds of her yelling behind me, and I feel truly free for the first time in my life.





I’ve tried not to care, tried to pretend that I’m okay.

I know the truth now, so I can move on.

But thing is…I can’t.

The more I’ve sat and thought about what Ava did, the angrier I’ve gotten. The more I think about Evie keeping the truth from me while climbing into my bed and making me want her again, the more the anger manifesting inside me grows like a f*cking tornado, and I feel ready to blow.

But worst of all, I miss Evie. I miss her more than I did in all those ten years combined. Even now, after all of this, I still love her.

Can you believe it?

I’m seriously f*cked in the head.

But then Evie’s absence has always been the hole in my life that I could never fill.

Maybe I deserve this shit because I’m such a stupid f*cker.

The bartender has just poured me another drink when the door to Reilly’s opens.

Max slides onto the stool beside me. “Good to see you’re spending your time off work effectively.”

“What are you doing here?” I pick up my glass and take a drink.

“Well, I haven’t heard from you in five days, which is a long time in our world and weird for you ’cause you always have been such a needy bitch when it comes to me. So, I called your office, and Mark told me that you weren’t in today and that you haven’t been in all week, which is odd for you because you never take a day off, not even when you’re sick. You know, I’ve never been able to wrap my head around that because you f*cking hate that studio.”

“And your point is?” I take another drink before placing the glass on the bar. I curl my hand around it.