Uncharted(54)

I’m going crazy just standing this close to him. Angry as I am, my body calls out to his, desperate for his touch. Reedy breaths slide from my mouth as a dangerous thought enters my brain.

So, he has a wife.

She’s not here.

I shut it down so fast, my world spins. Clearly, I need a little distance to sort through my unraveling emotions. A few days apart, to get some perspective. Halting a fair distance from him, I’m careful to keep my gaze averted. I clear my throat and do my damnedest to hold my voice steady.

“I need some time to process this. Time… and space.” I swallow. “I realize that’ll be difficult, since we share a camp. That’s why I’m going to bring my things here for a while. You can keep the beach.”

I hear him suck in a shaky breath. “How much time?”

“I don’t know, Beck.” My voice breaks on his name. “I don’t know anything anymore.”

“Violet—”

“Just don’t, okay?” I curl my hands into fists, eyes on the sand at my feet. “You’ve done enough.”

A long exhale escapes him, an indication of his deep frustration. I can feel his impatience, tangible in the air between us. The inability to explain himself, to justify his actions, is tearing him apart.

Good, a small, vindictive part of my psyche whispers. I hope it hurts like hell.

“I’ll go get my stuff. When I get back here… I’d like it if you weren’t.” Heart aching, mind reeling, I pivot on my heel and walk away from him without another word.

Being away from him right now is for the best, I tell myself. Even if it tears you apart.

It sounds like total bullshit, even to my own ears. Apparently, Beck thinks so too, since I only make it about three steps before a hand closes over my arm and he hauls me back toward him.

“Beck!” I snap. “Did you not hear a word I just said? About needing time and space to process?”

“Fuck time. Fuck space. Fuck that whole idiotic plan, Violet.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me perfectly fine.” He leans close, eyes spitting fire. “You don’t get to set all the terms of our relationship and then storm out of here without giving me a chance to explain.”

“We don’t have a relationship,” I hiss. “Because you have a wife.”

A growl rumbles in his chest.

“Let me go!” I yank at my arm, but he’s holding fast. “I mean it, you unbelievable asshole!”

“No.”

“No?” I blink, amazed at his audacity. “I’ll… I’ll scream!”

“No one to hear you but hermit crabs.”

“Then I’ll smash you over the head with a coconut.”

His lips twitch. “That’s your prerogative, princess. Not my favorite plan, but if it’ll calm you down enough to listen, I’m all for it.”

“Beck… please.” I can’t hold on much longer. My resolve is cracking, my fury fading into a deep despair that threatens to pull me under. “Let me go.”

“Like I said — no.” He stares at me, fingers flexing against the flesh of my arm. “Today alone, you’ve lost a friend, nearly drowned, and had a bombshell dropped on you.”

“You skipped my favorite part,” I mutter. “Let’s not forget how you nearly deflowered me without bothering to mention you’ve got a wife waiting for you at home!”

He flinches as if I’ve landed a physical blow, but his eyes glitter with resolve. “You can try your best to piss me off so I’ll let you storm out of here, but it’s not going to work. If you think I’m letting you wander into the woods by yourself, feeling the way you’re feeling right now, you don’t know me a damn bit.”

“You’re right,” I say, tears of rage and hurt springing to my eyes. “I don’t know you at all.”

“You know me, Violet. You know me better than anyone.”

“I thought I did, but apparently I was wrong. Because I don’t know where you grew up, or where you went to college. I don’t know where you lived before this island, or why you agreed to shoot photos for the Flint Group if you’re such a damn good photographer. And I sure as hell didn’t know about her!”

“You want to know about my life before? That’s what this is about? You want details to flesh out some backstory that’s no longer relevant to the man I’ve become?” His eyes flash. “Who I was, who you were, where we came from… none of that matters, Violet. Don’t you see? We’re here now. And we both know there’s a pretty fucking good chance we’re going to spend the rest of our lives on this island.”

“God forbid!” I snap, just to be cruel. “I don’t think I can stand to be trapped here another second with someone who lies as easily as you do.”

“I have never lied to you,” he growls in a lethal tone.

“You omitted. It’s the same thing and you know it.”

“It’s not the same at all.” His pissed-off expression now rivals mine. “Tell me… what would’ve been the ideal time to share my marital status with you? During the crash? On the life raft, dying of thirst? While we were cutting off Ian’s leg? Or maybe when I found out about the thirteen year age gap that made all the things I was feeling for you completely null and void? Forbidden, unequivocally, no matter how much the thought of never touching you tore me apart?”