Tragic Beauty (Beauty & The Darkness #1)(28)

I collapse in the chair again and Ben looks over at me. “Mind if I ask you something?”

By the way his eyes narrow on me, I know he’s trying to size me up. I shake my head.

“What’s she to you?” he asks.

I have no clue how to answer that. “She’s…a friend,” I finally answer. “A good friend.”

The old man studies me, and I know he’s no fool, but he doesn’t press.

But she’s more than a friend. Much more. My eyes drift to the kitchen, where a dish towel with little pink flowers hangs from a hook, reminding me of our moment at the sink together, taking the pot from her hand and our fingers grazing. I still remember hearing her breath catch, feeling her body tremble. Fuck, I remember every damn detail. Her scent, her voice, the feel of her skin, the sounds she made when…

A virgin?

It’s a question my mind keeps circling back to. It doesn’t make sense. There was no blood. Yet, if I think back through every little detail, I can almost see it clearly now. And then there were her eyes, today, earlier, when that fucker confronted her on it. It was there, plain as day. She was a virgin.

Fuck. The things I did to her.

Ben runs his wiry fingers over a groove in the table. “That poor girl’s been dealt one shitty deal after another. Nice to see someone else on her side for once.”

“But how could something like this happen? What about her dad?”

“Her dad?” he snorts. “She’s in this mess cuz of him.”

“What do you mean?”

The chair creaks when he leans back and stretches his long legs out with a sigh. “Her daddy was an ass! Straight up tit-turd. Guess it all got going when the fucker got drunk and fell and split his head open when Ava was ‘bout sixteen. That’s when the doctors found a tumor. Son of a bitch coulda done something about it too, but he was so bent over his wife leaving that he plum gave up and just waited the thing out. They gave him a year. ‘Bout the same time, they was having money trouble. Friend of mine worked at the bank and said they was getting ready to be foreclosed on. Wasn’t too long after I heard that Shayne was footing their bills, and that’s when I knew she’d made some kind of a deal with him. Didn’t know the particulars, but it wasn’t too hard to figure out. He’d been after her for years.”

I stand up and move to the kitchen window and stare out. Behind me, his voice keeps going.

“When I got wind of what she’d done, I knew her daddy wouldn’t accept my help, so the day he passed, I went to Shayne and tried to pay off her debt myself. I’d a mortgaged my ranch, given him everything I had—she’s the only one left on this earth I give a damn about—but the bastard just laughed and told me to get lost. I’ve come across some sorry fuckers in my day, Ava’s daddy for one, but that Shayne McAllister beats ‘em all. There ain’t a single decent bone in his body. He’s one of them bad seeds you just want to crush with the bottom of your boot.”

I’m still staring out the window, because it’s all I can do. There’s a strange feeling building inside me. That demon is stirring, but in a way I’ve never felt before. “What does he do?” I ask quietly.

“Oh, he’s got a big spread northeast of here. Runs cattle. Runs his mouth. His parents died in a car crash some time back, and he had a brother who died young, so now it’s all his. Word is he had something to do with the crash, but nothin’ was ever done about it. His parents were good folks, too. Took care of the town, of the people. They owned a good chunk of Main Street, and most of the businesses they leased to, they did for a plenty fair price. But when it all fell to Shayne, he nearly doubled everyone’s rates. Sent more than a few closing their doors. Town’s been struggling ever since. What his parents did to ever deserve a boy like that, well… And poor Ava—she’s always done her best to keep away from him, but he’s been like a cock roach around her. She never could get rid of him.”

I sit back down at the table and see Ben staring off into space, a hard kind of hurt set deep into his eyes.

He cares for her.

He loves her.

“How long you known her?” I ask.

His eyes brighten a bit, but the hurt doesn’t leave. “Well, let’s see. We bought that house over there from her daddy back when she must’ve been ‘bout seven or so.”

“The house next door?”

“Yeah. All this used to be part of the same spread, see, but he sold most of it off because he was too damn lazy to do a lick of work. That’s when we came around. My wife, Helen, had grown up here as a kid and always knew she wanted to retire here. So that’s what we did.” Ben looks into the tiny kitchen, at the fridge that’s rattling, at the stove that’s falling apart. “Was hard at first, watching that li’l girl see us living in what used to be hers, knowing she was over here now. But, once we saw how she was livin’, we was glad we was here to keep an eye on her.”

“What do you mean?”

Ben sighs and rocks back, teetering on the legs of his chair. “Didn’t take long to see her momma was about as worthless as her daddy. She was quite a bit younger than him, and was always dolling herself up and running round town, sleepin’ with any sucker that would buy her things. Mighta actually felt sorry for the guy, if he wasn’t such a giant cow pie, but you marry a woman like that… Anyway, we saw real quick Ava was pretty much on her own.”