To the Back of Beyond(21)
Once Astrid had calmed down, she went on ahead to the bedroom and opened the wardrobe. Despondently she stared into it. What about that sweater? asked Herr Ruf. He hasn’t worn that one for years. She looked at all the freshly laundered things, the pressed shirts, the carefully folded T-shirts he had worn on their vacation. Finally, she remembered Thomas’s handball things. In the sports bag on the basement steps they found a pair of tracksuit bottoms. Don’t touch them, said Herr Ruf, and he secured the item.
They went back down to the living room and drank a second cup of coffee each. At some point Astrid said, I think I need a brandy now. I expect you’re not allowed to drink when you’re on duty? That’s what the detectives always say on TV. The policeman motioned he wasn’t strictly speaking on duty, and he wasn’t a detective either. When they knocked glasses, he said, the name’s Patrick. They chatted for a while. He started telling her about his baby again. All of Astrid’s knowledge of the police came from TV shows. The policemen in those were always in broken relationships or lived apart from their wives, which seemed more appropriate to her than Patrick’s little domestic bliss. He refused a second brandy. She poured one for herself and felt much more mature and experienced than him. Even his indignation over Thomas’s disappearance struck her as na?ve now, and she doubted whether he would be able to achieve anything in a case whose basics he didn’t grasp properly. After that she felt better disposed to him, and admitted that she didn’t understand what had happened any more than he did. Eventually the baby will sleep through, she said, getting up, it’s just some learn faster than others.
Do you know anything about the first withdrawal from the account? Patrick asked as they were already standing in the corridor. Some M and K Entertainment in Frauenfeld, said Astrid. I thought it might be a bar or restaurant. And how high was the sum? Twenty francs, she said. One moment, he said, I’m just going to make a call. He went outside, closing the door behind him. Astrid remained in the corridor. She looked at the time, it was already after midnight. A few minutes later, Patrick came back in. He seemed tired, it was as though something had robbed him of all his energy while he was outside. I’m sorry, he said, but there was something about the name of that company. It seemed familiar. Unfortunately it keeps cropping up in our records. The withdrawal must have been made in the Galaxy, which is a club in a place called Braunau near Wil. Astrid looked at him uncomprehendingly. A brothel, he said. She turned and ran into the living room. All she wanted was to be alone, not see anyone and have no one see her. But Patrick had come after her. Again, he laid his hand on her shoulder. She gave an angry twitch, and he took it away. I’m sorry. It’s only a small sum. Presumably all he did was have a beer. Astrid did not say anything. Well, I’ll be on my way, he said. Tomorrow will be a long day. I’ll keep you informed.
Astrid heard the front door close behind him. She filled Patrick’s glass. As she drank, she had the feeling of their lips touching. Then she carried the coffee things and the brandy snifters into the kitchen. She wondered if Thomas had been to that brothel earlier, whether he had possibly been deceiving her all along. He had clients in the area whom he visited from time to time, admittedly in the daytime, but places like that were surely not only open at night. She opened up the laptop and googled the place. A photograph of a bare-breasted woman popped up on the screen, and under the name of the bar, a flashing slogan: The Hottest Club in Eastern Switzerland. Hot, private girls, drinks at bar prices. Open seven days a week, 6:00 p.m. to 5:00 a.m.
She navigated her way through the site, found pictures of the rooms and a gallery of the prostitutes. These girls await your pleasure tonight: Milena, Brigitta, Amanda, Lora, Tina, Maria. Attached were pictures of women in their underwear or entirely naked. Some had their hair falling into their faces, others had yellow stars covering their faces and pudenda. When she clicked on the picture, a new page opened with a brief description of the woman and some more pictures. Insatiable, no limits, sex-addicted. This hot-blooded chick needs sex the way she needs air to breathe. She’ll show you desire and submission that you won’t get at home. Disgustedly, Astrid closed the browser and snapped the laptop shut.
It took her a long time to get to sleep. Again and again she saw the pictures of the anonymous women with their fantasy names, turning their bottoms to the camera, arching their backs to make their breasts appear bigger and firmer. Astrid saw herself walking into the nightclub in her nightie, with couples along the walls and little groups of masked men and women all naked. She sensed that these people knew her and saw through her. They came closer and ever closer, surrounded her. Astrid tried to get away, but they wouldn’t let her through; she felt hands pushing her back, plucking at her nightie, her underthings, arms wrapping themselves around her and holding her fast. Then through the crowd she saw Thomas standing by the wall. He had his arm draped over the hip of a naked woman and there was an amused smile on his face. His lips were moving, but with all the noise she couldn’t make out what he was saying. Suddenly she was wide awake. It was dark in the room. She groped for the alarm clock. It was four in the morning. She got up, threw on her dressing gown, and went out into the garden. And then she could breathe again.
The sun was over the other side of the valley, and the clouds had come nearer, otherwise everything was the same as before. Thomas thought about the paired images he had seen in his childhood, how many differences can you find. A cow was gone, one of the many flowers in the meadow had lost all its petals, the blackbird was no longer in the apple tree, the white cross had quit the Swiss flag. There was a fishing boat out on the lake, but the fisherman must be around the other side of the boat or in the cabin.