To Have It All(37)
What was she doing here? She seemed like a nice lady, and I hated to think Max had somehow duped her as he had done to me years ago. I wished someone would’ve warned me.
“I don’t know how well you know Max, but this isn’t him,” I stated bluntly. “Max doesn’t go out of his way for anyone, least of all me or Pimberly.”
“I can’t promise you this new Max is here to stay, but I can tell you it’s real . . . for however long it lasts . . . right now . . . it’s real.”
I didn’t understand what she meant, and my pain meds were kicking in, so I let it go. If the new Max only lasted long enough to get me through the next two weeks until Matt got back, then so be it. What happened after that, I couldn’t care less.
“I really wish you’d stay tonight,” I whined to Helen as I followed her to the elevator, moping behind her like a child holding his mother’s apron strings. What was I going to do with these two ladies staying with me for days to possibly weeks? I’d had a few serious girlfriends over the years that would spend a night here and there, but none that officially lived with me. What if I left the toilet seat up and one of them fell in? Outside of that, there was a far larger issue. The biggest problem would be trying to maintain my identity as Max in front of Waverly. She’d already mentioned several times how I wasn’t the same as I used to be. These were all things that were rolling through my mind as I’d stared at Waverly in the hospital lobby, offering her my help. I knew it was a bad idea, but what choice did I have? She needed me.
“You’ll be fine,” Helen yawned. “I’ll be back tomorrow after I visit the hospital.”
Taking a good look at my sister, my shoulders sagged. Small dark circles surrounded her eyes, and her skin was pale. She was exhausted, and I was entirely to blame for it. Ever since the accident, she’d been by my side either in the hospital with my body or here with me, aiding me, as I stumbled my way through Max’s life.
“Helen, take tomorrow off, okay. You need a day to kick back. In fact, I don’t want you coming out here every day. You’re pregnant. You need to take it easy and get some sleep.”
Snapping her fiery gaze to mine, she answered, “I may only have days left with you, Liam. I can sleep the rest of my life, but I may not have my brother for it. I’ll be here in the morning after I go to the hospital.”
Pulling her to me, I hugged her as she pressed her head to my chest. She sniffled a little, but didn’t cry. “It’s going to be okay, Hel Cat,” I promised. “No matter what, it’ll be okay.”
While Waverly and Pimberly moving in with me was worrisome, it had been a welcome distraction. Helen and I spent the day focusing on helping Waverly, avoiding the bad news we’d received earlier. Not long before we ran into Waverly in the hospital lobby, the doctors had pulled Helen aside to update her on my health. It had been over a week, and there were no signs of brain activity. My pupils weren’t reactive to light, and I was unresponsive to any type of stimulus. Physically, I was dead, plain and simple. Only the miracle of modern medicine was keeping my body alive. The prognosis was dismal, to say the least. We’d already known this, but it was adamantly reiterated. The doctors believed without any doubt my brain would not recover. They strongly recommended taking me off life support.
“I’m scared Liam,” Helen’s voice cracked.
I didn’t know what to say, and I didn’t want to get emotional. Max’s fucking steroid use was still messing with me, making me feel like a woman. Was this what PMS was like for ladies? One minute I felt fine, then I’d feel weepy, then I’d be pissed off. I felt insane. I swore to myself I’d never make another fucking joke about ladies during their time of the month again.
Now, with my prognosis unchanged added to the mix of the overwhelming task of maintaining Max’s life; the idea that Max was trapped in my body, frozen; the workload it was creating for Helen; not to mention the possible psychological damage I was doing to Pimberly and Waverly—there were more than enough reasons to take my body off life support and see what cards fate would deal.
“In two weeks, Helen,” I told her as I kissed the top of her head.
Pulling back, she stared up at me. “Two weeks what?”
I swallowed hard, preparing myself for her reaction. I knew she wasn’t going to like what I had to say. “After Waverly and Pimberly go home, we’re going to take my body off life support.”
“Li—”
I held my hand up, stopping her. “If there’s no evidence my body will wake up we have to do the right thing. If Max is trapped in there, he deserves to be able to switch back to his body or even move on to. . . .” I motioned my hand to the ceiling, “the other side.”
“What do you mean he deserves it?” she hissed.
“Okay, maybe the guy’s an asshole, but no one deserves that, Hel. And what about me? I can’t live like this. I can’t pretend to be him when I’m . . . me, ya know? If I get stuck in his body forever . . . that’s one thing, but I can’t live knowing he’s trapped there, and at any moment we could switch back, or I could die, or whatever.”
The elevator dinged as the doors slid open. I stuck my hand out to hold them open while Helen stared at the floor. She needed a moment to absorb what I was saying, and no matter how long it took, I’d give her that.