Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything(37)

Match the frequency


Next, as you look at your existing routine, decide how often you want to do your new habit. If you want to do it once a day, then sequence it after an Anchor that happens once a day. If you want to do your new habit four times a day, then sequence it after an Anchor that happens four times a day. I wanted to do push-ups throughout my day, so placing it after I peed was a good—though quirky—solution.





Match the theme/purpose


Finally—and this element is less vital than the previous two—the best Anchors will have the same theme or purpose as the new habit. If you view coffee and its jolt of caffeine as a way to be more productive, then this might be a good Anchor for a new habit of launching your to-do app. However, if your morning coffee is more about relaxation and “me time,” then a to-do app is not a good thematic fit. You might create this recipe instead: “After I pour my coffee, I will open my journal.”

Remember Sarika from last chapter? One of the first habits that she incorporated into her new morning routine was to drink a glass of water before she had tea or coffee. The Anchor that she found worked best was “After I water the jade plant in my bathroom, I’ll take a drink of water.” When I asked her why it worked so well, she told me that she thought about both actions as nourishing. By watering the plant, she was giving it what it needed to thrive, and by “watering herself” she was doing what she needed to do to thrive. The theme here was an act of care, which made it even easier for her to remember. Both habits dovetailed so nicely that they became difficult to separate.

But this recipe—After I brush my teeth, I will sweep the garage—will almost certainly fail to create a habit because it doesn’t match location, frequency, or theme. If you want to sweep the garage every Saturday, then find an existing routine you already do on Saturday at home (and ideally in the garage) to use as your Anchor.

As you design your new habit, don’t worry too much about creating the perfect recipe. If the recipe isn’t to your liking, then change it. That’s one reason I named this format a “recipe.” You should feel free to modify your creations whether they are Anchors and new habits or potatoes and gravy.

I’ve created a format to help you design recipes in the Tiny Habits way. You can use a blank index card. Or you can go online and use my template. In any case, think about this recipe card as part of a Habit Recipe collection you’ll create over time. Maybe you store the cards in a recipe box. In that way, it’s easy to review the habits you’re practicing. And you can revise as needed, crossing out things and writing a new version directly on the card.





My Recipe—Tiny Habits Method


After I . . .

I will . . .

To wire the habit into my brain, I will immediately:





Anchor Moment

Tiny Behavior

Celebration



An existing routine in your life that will remind you to do the Tiny Behavior (your new habit).

The new habit you want but you scale it back to be super tiny—and super easy.

Something you do to create a positive feeling inside of yourself (the feeling is called Shine).





Experimentation Is Good


At this point, you’ve got what it takes to start experimenting with your new Tiny Habits. Because our lives are complex and unique, there will naturally need to be adjustments. Where to put some habits is going to be obvious—what better time to floss your teeth than after you brush them, right?—while others might take a while to dial in. In the first few days or even weeks of experimentation, your new habits might shift a lot, and that’s better than okay; that’s great. It means you’re honing your skills and learning more about pairing Anchors with Tiny Behaviors.

If one habit doesn’t hook naturally to an Anchor, you might be inspired to replace it with a different habit that seems like a better fit. The moment my head hit the pillow seemed like a good time for me to mindfully take three breaths, so I tried it out. It worked, but I didn’t feel like it was doing much for me. It didn’t grow naturally, and sometimes it felt pointless. Instead of getting down on myself, I got curious. What else could go there? I’d been wanting to practice more gratitude, so after my head hit the pillow, I thought of one thing that happened that day that I was thankful for. When I did it the first time, I got a happy little zing in my brain that told me I had found the right spot.

By playing around with forming habits, we hone our skills. With practice, you’ll get better at using these principles to create Tiny Habits that help you reach your aspirations. Quite often the skill you’ll need is finding a good Anchor and pairing it with the right Tiny Behavior. Then you can efficiently design for change in your everyday life.

A few years ago, I was eating at a great restaurant, and I couldn’t finish the delicious entrée. It wasn’t the first time this had happened. I knew what the problem was: I had chowed down too much bread early in the meal. When servers bring fresh bread to the table, it is oh so tempting, but making an early meal of bread led me to overeat later or not fully enjoy the main course. Both were problems I wanted to address. So I looked to the Tiny Habits method for a solution. And I found what worked for me.

I created a recipe that went like this: After the server offers bread, I will say, “No bread for me, thank you.” And this tiny statement gave me the results I wanted right away. I no longer fill up on bread, and I enjoy main courses more thoroughly. Yes, I had to practice this new habit a bit to wire it into my life—and navigate any social reaction at the table—but saying this sentence is now automatic.