Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything(20)

For each behavior card, he asks himself: How effective is this behavior in helping me to reduce my stress?

The first behavior Mark picks up is playing the guitar for ten minutes every day. This is straightforward—Mark loves the guitar, and he’s always in a good mood after even a short strumming session. He knows this will have a big impact on him so he places the card close to the top of the map near the High-Impact Behaviors end of the spectrum. The next behavior he picks up is leaving work fifteen minutes early every day. That seems like a good idea at first, but later he thinks that it might have the opposite effect—especially if he is on deadline. He puts that behavior toward the bottom near Low-Impact Behaviors.

You continue in this way, card by card. If you’re not sure about the impact a behavior will have, do your best and put it somewhere that seems right. You can revise later in the process if needed.

If Mark had mistakenly put leaving work early as High Impact—no big deal. Worst-case scenario, he leaves work early for a couple of days and realizes that rushing out the door is actually stressing him out more. Mark knows that experimentation is the name of the game, and he’s loving his new guitar habit so he doesn’t get too bummed that leaving work early didn’t reduce his stress.

Once you’ve plotted your potential new behaviors on the impact spectrum, it’s time to look at those same behaviors through another lens.





ROUND TWO


In this round you focus on feasibility and practicality. You become the real you, not the fantasy version. In round two you don’t move cards up or down; you slide them side to side along the feasibility dimension.

Mark eyes his guitar-playing and work-leaving behaviors and asks himself: Can I get myself to do this?

The phrasing of the question is important. It brings together both motivation and ability at the same time. With this one question, you are addressing two components of my Behavior Model.

Most people can answer the feasibility question pretty easily. When Mark asks himself, Can I get myself to play the guitar every day? the answer is obvious to him—yes. However, when he asks himself, Can I get myself to leave work early every day? he grimaces a little and starts arguing with himself in his head. That’s a sign that he can’t get himself to do this.

It’s this simple for a lot of behaviors. But for others, it helps to know what’s causing us to hem and haw.

To do this, ask yourself, Do I want to do this behavior?

Motivation, in other words.

You can’t get yourself to do what you don’t want to do. At least not reliably. You might do the behavior once or twice, but it’s unlikely to become a habit. When we match ourselves with behaviors that we already want to do, not what we think we should do, there is no need to fuss with motivational tricks or techniques later. We take the Motivation Monkey out of commission.

Let’s say you want to make eating ice cream a daily habit. No problem, right? Why? Because there’s no need to motivate yourself to dig into that chocolate chip ice cream after a long day at work. If you were Focus Mapping that behavior, you’d think, Sure, I can get myself to do that behavior. And you’d slide that card far to the right side of the chart.

As you slide the cards side to side, remember that there’s no judgment here. Imagine yourself doing the behavior. Do you feel a little pop of dread? Or do you feel excited about doing the behavior? There is plenty of room in between these feelings, but the important distinction here is between “want” and “should.”

Behavior Design recognizes this reality: A key to lasting change is matching yourself with behaviors that you want to do. In your quest to exercise daily, for example, you’ll find plenty of options. If streaming Beyoncé and dancing for five minutes while you make breakfast is the exercise you want to do, then make dancing a daily habit. And forget about the treadmill at the gym.

One big difference in Behavior Design versus other approaches is that with my methods you focus on habits you already have motivation to do. You don’t pick a habit and try to bolt on motivation later. In Behavior Design, motivation is already embedded in the new habit. In other approaches you will struggle to maintain a habit you think you should do. And that doesn’t work very well.

Matching people with behaviors they want to do is so important for lasting change that I’ve given this concept special status in Behavior Design.



Fogg Maxim #1: Help people do what they already want to do.



This maxim has been a game changer for many of the professionals I’ve trained in Behavior Design. And this maxim can change the game for you when you help yourself do what you already want to do. I’ve designed the Focus Mapping method to adhere to this maxim.

But there’s more. The round two question—Can I get myself to do this behavior?—is also about ability.

Perhaps you’re motivated to eat fresh peaches every morning, but if you live in Maine and there are no peaches to be found in the winter, eating a daily peach is not going to happen consistently. You don’t have the ability to do this behavior reliably, and you would slide this card toward the left-hand side.

As you sort your cards, imagine yourself doing the behavior in the context of your day-to-day life. Let’s say your aspiration is to eat more fruit, and the behavior you brainstormed is to put blueberries in your oatmeal. Don’t imagine the Fantasy-You getting up early to fix oatmeal each day. Instead, think of Real-You rolling out of bed twenty minutes before dashing out the door. Daily blueberries in oatmeal is probably not realistic. How about putting an apple in your purse instead?