This Time Next Year(79)

‘So what film are you playing a leading lady in?’ Quinn asked.

Minnie bounced slightly in her chair. That second glass of wine had sent a buzz to her head. ‘Finding Nemo, when I had the fish tail on, but usually Ratatouille. Maybe my genre is kids’ films.’

‘Ratatouille?’

‘It’s about a rat who’s a chef.’

‘You’re definitely not a rat, I see you in a superhero franchise,’ Quinn said, taking another sip of wine. ‘They’d call you Coco Nuts, and you’d take out all the bad guys by bashing their heads together with these enormous coconuts.’

Quinn glanced at the coconut bra lying between them on the sofa.

‘I don’t know if I could kill a man with those.’ There was a fruit bowl on the coffee table and Minnie reached out for a banana. ‘I think Coconut Girl would have some other fruit-themed weaponry up her sleeve.’ She held the banana against Quinn’s chest like a gun and Quinn raised his hands in surrender.

‘Ah Coco Nuts, we meet again. I see you have foiled my cunning plan to steal all the fruit in Fruitopolis.’ Quinn affected a deep American drawl.

‘You won’t get away with it this time,’ said Minnie, in a theatrical voice of her own.

‘Unfortunately for you, my superpowers involve telepathically forcing you to eat your own weapon,’ said Quinn, still in character.

‘I don’t think so, Evil Baddie Man,’ Minnie said.

‘Is that my name?’ Quinn asked in a stage whisper. ‘It’s not very good.’

‘You didn’t introduce yourself,’ Minnie deadpanned, trying to compose herself. ‘Very bad manners.’

Quinn reached for the banana, Minnie grabbed his elbow, and then followed what Minnie could only describe as a sort of play-fight, which ended up with Quinn pinning her to the sofa and taking the banana from her hand. Minnie suddenly felt very aware that she was not wearing a bra.

‘I’m not eating it,’ she said, still in character. ‘You can’t make me.’

‘Can’t I?’ said Quinn, his voice an even deeper drawl. ‘I have very persuasive powers.’ He peeled the banana and held a piece to her mouth. Minnie pretended some supernatural force was taking over her body.

‘Oh, no, not the banana!’ she said breathily, putting her mouth around the chunk he was holding out for her.

She started eating it with her eyes closed, and when she opened them, their eyes met. He was looking at her wide-eyed. Oh god, how had this suddenly got so weird? She’d stayed for a glass for wine, and now they were engaged in some kind of sexy fruit-themed role play. Quinn cleared his throat, and slowly moved to his side of the sofa. Minnie swallowed the piece of banana in her mouth and stood up.

‘Sorry, I got carried away,’ Quinn said awkwardly.

‘It’s fine. I should um … I should get home anyway.’ She paused, looking down and remembering she was wearing his clothes. ‘Can I borrow these to get home? My land legs only last until midnight and then I’ll just be thrashing around in some Tube stop somewhere, begging someone to throw water on me. I can post them back to you tomorrow.’

‘Of course,’ said Quinn, ‘or I can pick them up sometime.’

He found Minnie a bag for her mermaid costume and ordered her an Uber. At the front door he paused.

‘I promise not to force-feed you bananas next time we see each other,’ he said. The muscle in his jaw flexed and he dropped his gaze to the floor.

‘Lucky for you I like bananas,’ said Minnie, daring to make eye contact.

Quinn looked as though he wanted to say something else but didn’t know how.

‘You’re great company, Minnie. I know we’ve had a few false starts, but I’d – I’d like us to be friends,’ he said, looking at her hopefully. ‘I need more laughter in my life.’

‘Court jester at your service,’ she said, crossing her leg in front of her and giving a bow.

‘I don’t mean it like that,’ he said, reaching out to touch her arm. He looked worried he had offended her. ‘I just can’t handle anything more at the moment.’

‘Of course.’ She reached out to give him a reciprocal tap on the arm. ‘Any time.’

He opened the door for her, the cab was waiting outside. She hovered in the doorway. Why was she hovering? He’d think she was hovering because she was waiting for him to kiss her and he had just established that she was firmly in the friend zone. So why was she still standing here? She jumped down the steps, tripped and stumbled on the bottom stair.

‘Are you OK?’ he called after her.

‘Fine, totally fine. See you later friend,’ she said with a backwards wave.





21 June 2020





The next Sunday, Minnie went back to Hampstead Ponds. She could have gone to the Ladies’ Pond further into the park. It was smarter, had better changing facilities and more sun in the morning. But she found herself at the Mixed Pond, peering at each head that glided through the water, wondering if one might belong to him. Clearly he was not likely to be there. She always looked for Jean Finney too, with her distinctive white ruffled swimming cap. It was just something you did when you went to the ponds, you looked out for people you knew.

Minnie swam for longer than she planned to, pulling the water back and down as though her life depended on it. She felt strong. These last few months she’d noticed new muscles developing in her shoulders, her stomach felt flat for the first time in years and her legs and arms felt longer somehow. On the downside her hair was a wild frizz bomb. Did any swimmers have good hair? Maybe if she was really serious about swimming she should chop it all off and go full otter.