This Could Change Everything(82)

When it happened, the almighty crack made her cry out, because the right side of her head had indeed made contact with the wooden bed frame. God, ow.

She landed in a heap on the floor. For several seconds, she concentrated on her breathing. Dazed, she cautiously checked each part of her body in turn. It was a miracle, and everything hurt, but no actual limbs appeared to be broken.

Oh, but the bruises would be spectacular.

She’d brought the box down with her too; the lid had come off and photos had tumbled out like oversized confetti. Still catching her breath and waiting for the pain above her right ear to subside, she found one of them resting on her chest. Without moving, she lifted the photograph and held it above her head. When her eyes finally brought it into focus, she saw that it was one of herself and Matthew, taken a year or so after their wedding.

She looked at her younger self, outwardly smiling, slender and gorgeous, and knew that the realisation of what she’d done back then had already taken root in her brain. At the age of twenty-seven, she’d made her bed and was being forced, night after night, to lie in it.

She let go of the photo and allowed it to flutter to the floor beside her; she didn’t care if she never saw it again.

Oh yes, this was definitely karma.

The pain in her head wasn’t lessening at all.

Lancaster. Kendal. Penrith. Carlisle.

Lucas had taken his turn driving; now Essie was back behind the wheel and he was dozing once more. The further north they went, the more spectacular the scenery became. They were ahead of schedule too, having made only one fleeting pit stop for a bathroom break and to pick up fresh cups of coffee.

Essie helped herself to another mint toffee from the bag in her lap. They were approaching Glasgow now; she’d never driven this kind of distance before. What if they reached Kinlara on Skye only to discover that Giselle wasn’t there?

What if she was there but flatly refused to see or speak to Lucas?

And why, why had she done this?

It was an endless loop of unanswerable questions, and if it was bothering her, Essie could only imagine the effect it must be having on Lucas.

The sun was low in the sky. They’d set off at eleven thirty and it was now half past six in the evening. According to the sat nav they were on course to reach Kinlara by ten forty-five.

‘Where are we?’ Lucas had woken up.

‘Glasgow.’

‘My turn.’

‘OK, when we reach the next services.’ Essie’s back was starting to ache a bit. Since it hadn’t been mentioned yet, she said, ‘Any idea where we might stay when we get there?’

He rubbed his hands over his face. ‘God, sorry. Hadn’t even thought about it.’

‘It’s fine, it doesn’t—’

‘Of course it matters.’ Lucas took out his phone. ‘I’ll sort somewhere now.’

By the time they reached the next service station, he’d booked them into a hotel online.

‘There, done.’

‘Can I see?’ said Essie.

He passed her his mobile and she studied the photos of the small family-run hotel situated on Main Street with views over the harbour and the sea beyond.

‘It looks nice. Did you get two rooms?’ The moment the words were out, she regretted them.

Lucas said evenly, ‘I’m on my way to see my pregnant girlfriend. Of course I booked two rooms.’

‘I just meant did they have two rooms?’ Flustered, Essie found herself babbling. ‘What with it being such short notice, that’s all. But they did, so that’s good . . . I wasn’t meaning anything else . . .’

‘Two rooms. No need to panic. Believe it or not, I wasn’t planning on seducing you tonight.’

She bit back a retort, because he was under a huge amount of pressure and now wasn’t the time. They opened the car doors and swapped seats in silence. Essie fastened her seat belt and closed her eyes, tilting her head away from him.

Not that she’d be able to sleep.

Five minutes later, as they sped along the M8, she heard Lucas say, ‘Ess? I’m sorry.’

‘It’s OK. Don’t worry.’

‘It’s just this is killing me. The not having a clue what’s going on.’

Essie’s heart went out to him; it was the most unbearable situation. She opened her eyes and turned to look at him. ‘I know.’





Chapter 40


It was dark outside, which meant it must be night-time. Zillah gazed out through the window and saw the misty amber glow from the street lamp. For some reason she couldn’t bring the lamp itself into focus, but never mind.

Her head still hurt, but it was a degree of pain she was able to cope with. She had managed to get herself off the floor as well, thank goodness; had made her way to the bathroom, then back again and into bed. She’d been dozing intermittently since then, and had sipped water from the bottle on the bedside table. Her mobile phone was somewhere, but she couldn’t remember quite where. Anyway, calling someone and telling them about the fall would only earn her a lecture about how she shouldn’t have been standing on a chair in the first place. Then there’d be another boring lecture about how she’d brought it on herself through wearing high heels. Nag nag nag. God it was tedious.

Easier to stay here in bed and let this ridiculous headache run its course. It was like a bad bout of flu; you just had to take things easy and wait for it to pass.