This Close to Okay(65)

She let herself cry, caught her breath, and leaned her head against the wall again. Would she fall asleep? Did she? She wasn’t sure how much time had gone by when she opened her eyes to see the scary doors slide open.

Emmett stood. Tallie got to her feet and touched the cool wall to counter the asleep-to-suddenly-awake dizziness. Her dad and Glory creaked in their chairs. They watched in silence as Zora, wilted, stepped into the waiting room in her Athena costume, the white fabric ethereally floating her across the floor—a ghosting that could be a sign Lionel didn’t make it.

When did the walls go liquid?

Tallie looked over at her dad and Glory. Where was her mother? Was her mother really going to miss this? She needed to fucking be here. Tallie made eye contact with Zora.

“Lionel’s…okay. Or will be. But he won’t be in his own room for a few hours. So honestly, y’all should go change and get some rest and come back in a little bit,” she said to them. “And thank you for saving him, Emmett. I didn’t see it, but someone told me what you did,” Zora said, going to him and hugging tight.

“He’s awake? Talking? He’s okay?” Tallie flipped the words out quickly. She couldn’t remember the last time it’d felt so good to cry. Emmett put his arm around her shoulder. Her dad and Glory joined the circle they were standing in and expressed breathy relief at Zora’s news.

“He’s knocked out now because of the medicine. He was in so much pain. That was beyond scary,” Zora said, crying, too.

Her mom returned from outside with a ripe cloud of smoke clinging to her. The anger Tallie had felt toward her mother, thinking she’d miss some awful announcement about Lionel, melted away. Lionel was okay.

Her mom stepped closer to Zora, who shared the news again.

Lionel was okay.

“I’ll stay here. Y’all need food? Something to drink? I’ll go downstairs to get it,” her mom said.

“Could you bring me crackers? And tea?” Zora said. She told them she’d called her parents and River was safe and sound, sleeping at their place. “What time is it?”

“Almost two,” Emmett said, looking at the clock. Tallie could feel it—she always felt like a skinned, raw version of herself in the middle of the night.

“We’re supposed to set the clocks back an hour tonight,” she mumbled, remembering. Everything was stretched and pliable, like taffy. Even time didn’t make sense anymore.

“Please go get some rest,” Zora said.

Her dad and Glory said they were going to the diner across the street for coffee.

“He looks at you like he’s in love with you,” Tallie’s mom said to her when she hugged her.

“Who, Nico?” Tallie whispered. Her mom had always liked Nico, but she’d been out smoking when he’d stopped by. She hadn’t seen him.

“No,” her mom said. When she pulled away, she nodded her head toward Emmett.

“That’s enough. I’ll see you soon, Mama,” Tallie said before Judith went down the hallway.

“We’ll be back. Soon. Tell Lionel that. Tell him we love him,” Tallie said to Zora, hugging her.

“I will,” Zora said. “He loves you. He loves you so much. Like you wouldn’t believe how much a guy could love his baby sister,” she said to Emmett.

“I love him so much. I don’t know what I’d do without him,” Tallie said and wiped her eyes, took a deep, shaky breath. “And please call me if my mother gets out of hand,” she added with a whisper.

“I will, I promise,” Zora said. “See you in a little bit.”

*



At her house, Tallie and Emmett stood in the hallway outside the bathroom.

“Here—I don’t want to lose it. Thank you for letting me wear it,” she said, reaching behind her, unclasping his necklace. Emmett was unbuttoning his shirt. “Wait. I’ll help you. Really, you should be careful with your hands. You should probably take ibuprofen, too. Does that work for burns? Works for any pain, right?” she said. She got behind him and clasped the necklace around his neck. She stood in front of him and began unbuttoning his shirt for him, his arms lank at his side. The smoky smell coming from him was so intense it could’ve set off an alarm.

“My hands are fine. They’re just tender.”

“Emmett, will you let me do this?” she said, her frustration spilling over. She’d scheduled the weekend off to take care of herself and ended up taking care of everyone else. Again! She was tired. So tired.

“Yes. I will let you do this.”

Tallie was on the verge of tears, unbuttoning one of his buttons and then another as he stood there quietly, not moving, his back now against the wall. Her cats were in the hallway with them, squinty and blinking in the light.

“You’re so fucking stubborn,” she said. Hungry, exhausted, worried. It felt good to curse at him, to let it out.

“I know I am,” he said, nodding.

“It’s fucking annoying.”

“I know it is, but I like when you boss me around.”

She was careful pulling the sleeve off his left arm, careful turning him and pulling the entire shirt off his right. And when he was facing her, standing there in his white T-shirt, she reached for the hem and pulled it over his head. Slowly. His skin blushed like a mild sunburn. Once he was shirtless—nothing but his gold cross around his neck—she gently pressed herself to his bare chest and kissed him, breathing in deeply. He shared her breath. His bandaged hands went to the sides of her face, the gauze like feathers.