They Wish They Were Us(84)

    KARAAAA!

I can’t even tell you how excited I am for summer these days. I just want to be back in the Hamps with you and Graham again. I am loooonnginggg for the days of hanging at Graham’s house, our feet dangling in the pool while we shove ice cream bars into our faces.

Adam says he’ll come out for a few weeks, too. Then it’ll really be like last year—all of us together again. I promise he and I won’t ditch you guys again. You know we were just running lines for that play he’s working on. He says I’m the only one he trusts here in Gold Coast to do his dialogue justice.

Speaking of, I’m starring in Rent, bitch!!!! Remember when we saw it back in middle school and sang that candle song back and forth for literal months? Now I’m going to get to do that on an actual stage in front of actual people.

Adam has been helping me run lines after school and I cannot tell you how amazing it is. There’s seriously no one else here who gets this whole world. Thank god I have him. Anyway, I gotta go. Rehearsal is starting back up in a few. Talk soon, love.

Xo, SHAY



My head spins and I can hardly breathe. Shaila and Adam hung out the summer before freshman year? A lot, it seems. Enough that Kara had called her out for ditching. I knew they had gotten friendly during Rent, but why didn’t they mention it? Shaila made it seem like she saw him once or twice with Rachel. Never alone. Not that they had their own . . . thing.

“Sorry. Mom’s a total dummy when it comes to all things electronic.” Adam steps back into the room gingerly and shuts the door behind him. “Everything okay?”

I shove my phone in my pocket and sit on my hands. They need to stop shaking. “Yep,” I say, and try to keep my face neutral.

“You sure?”

I nod. I need a moment to myself. Just one more. “Just a little warm. Could I have a glass of water?”

Adam smiles that sweet, lopsided smile of his and backs out of the room.

I let out a rush of air and lie back against his pillows. Images of Shaila and Adam dance in my head. Why had they kept that from me?

I curl over onto my side and my knee knocks against Adam’s nightstand, jostling it open. I extend a hand to push the drawer back in its place, but it won’t move. It’s stuck, as if something is blocking it from shutting all the way. I reach into the drawer and wiggle my hand around, trying to see what’s there. My fingertips graze something soft and velvety. But when I wrap my hand around it and try to pull it loose, it stays put. Weird. I sit up to get a closer look and when I do, all the air rushes out of my lungs. There in Adam’s nightstand is a slim square jewelry box. My head spins as I convince myself that it can’t be what I think it is; it’s just not possible.

With shaking fingers, I reach for the box and wiggle it free. It’s light and fits completely in my palm. I just need to check, to know I’m not losing my mind. Carefully, I pry the box open.

A flash of bright light. The afternoon sun bounces off of whatever is inside and spreads through the room, blinding me for just a second.

I blink and look again. My stomach drops. Two sparkling diamond studs are nestled in the box. Big and round and shimmering, with tiny platinum prongs holding the stones in place. They look just like Kara’s.

Her words ring in my ears.

She said she could never wear them, that people would ask too many questions. She gave them back to him and he freaked out.

My heart thumps so loud, I fear Adam can hear it from the hallway.

They’re Shaila’s.

“Hope tap’s okay,” Adam calls from outside the room. “Seltzer’s all the way downstairs.”

I snap the box closed and place it carefully inside Adam’s drawer, shoving it back into place. I leap to the opposite side of the bed. Adrenaline courses through me and I need to escape. To forget whatever I just found.

I try to find words but my throat is scratchy. “Yep!” It’s all I can say and it comes out like a cat’s howl.

“You sure you’re okay?” he asks, appearing in the doorframe. He lets his head fall to one side. Gone is the messy, bummed-out boy who sat beside me before. The real Adam, my Adam, appears instead. But I don’t know anything anymore.

“I’m not feeling well,” I say. “I gotta go.”

“C’mon,” he says. “Stay with me. We’ll figure everything out.”

I shake my head and stand. A rage builds inside me, pulsing through my blood, reaching my fingertips. I want out. I need to go.

I push past him and make for the stairs.

“Jill, wait!” he calls after me. But I’m already out the door, sprinting to the car. My hands shake as I shove the keys into the ignition and reverse, peeling out of the driveway.

It’s not until I’m halfway to my destination that I realize where I’m going. The road is open and I gun it. A kelly green sign looms overhead on the Long Island Expressway.

    New York City

30 miles





TWENTY-THREE





I STAND IN front of Rachel’s doorway drenched in sweat. The city is so humid the air sags. Was it always ten degrees hotter here than in Gold Coast? My damp hair sticks to the back of my neck and my sundress is a full shade darker than it should be.

“C’mon, Rachel,” I mutter. I must have been here for five minutes already, buzzing her apartment. She’s not picking up her phone and I’m starting to panic.