They Wish They Were Us(60)

My jaw drops open. I stumble backward, feeling like I’ve been smacked in the face. I know exactly what Nikki’s talking about. The Midwinter Challenge. The night where Shaila almost sacrificed everything for me.

It was an unseasonably warm Friday night in February and we were all called to Jake’s basement for a full class pop. I panicked when I got the text. I was supposed to be at the All-County Math Olympiad Challenge at 8 a.m. the next morning. There were only two weekend meets a year, and I had specifically requested to have those days off.

“Sure,” Adam had said when I asked. “Won’t be a problem.”

But I knew there was no way I’d get out of participating. Not if Jake was running the show.

Shit, I texted Shaila. I can’t drink tonight . . .

Don’t worry. I’ll cover for you.

I sent her a million heart emojis and prayer hands before leaving to accept our fate.

When we arrived at Jake’s, there were a few junior boys there, too. But no Adam, or any of the girls. Jake ordered us into what seemed like a small closet. It smelled of cedar and lavender at first. Two handles of vodka sat atop slim benches.

“Drink,” Jake said in his deep monotone. “Drink till they’re done.”

The guys behind him laughed and shouted out some whooping noises.

Robert scoffed. “That’s it?”

A slow, scary smile spread across Jake’s face. “Yep,” he said. “That’s it.”

Then he turned and closed the door. A small click let us know it was locked.

“Well, this should be easy,” Robert said. He picked up one of the bottles and brought it to his lips to take a swig. But after sipping only a tiny bit, he spit his mouthful onto the floor. “Ugh, gross, it’s hot.”

Shaila groaned and sat down on the bench. Then her eyes grew wide. “Wait. Is anyone else, like, really warm?” She pulled her fleece over her head to expose a tiny piece of flesh between her pants and her top.

It was hot. And it was only getting hotter. Steam rose from the floor. I looked up. It was coming through the slats on the ceiling, too.

“Jesus,” Quentin said as he spun around the small room. “You guys, this is a sauna.”

We were all silent as reality set in. Jake was cranking the heat up high. Too high. Suddenly, I was so aware of my armpits and the boiling sensation between my toes. I breathed in deeply and swallowed too much hot air. Panic began to rise in my throat and I felt like I was going to collapse.

“Let’s get this over with,” Marla said. She whipped off her sweater and took a long slug. Her face contorted as she choked it down. “That is vile.”

She passed the bottle to Henry and it went around the circle, until Nikki placed it at my feet.

I picked it up and thought about the next day. How I could get kicked off the team if I performed like shit, how that could affect my scholarship or my shot at an Ivy, how it could ruin everything my parents worked for. Everything I worked for. My hands started to shake and I blinked back tears. It was all too much. “I can’t drink,” I said softly to no one in particular. “Olympiad tomorrow. I can’t mess it up.”

For a moment no one spoke, and then Shaila grabbed the bottle. “I’ll drink for her. Whatever.”

Nobody seemed to care and slowly my fear subsided. I squeezed Shaila’s hand and said a silent thank you as she drank more and more.

Soon, we were all bright red and dripping in sweat. My throat felt scratchy from dehydration. Henry wiped his face on his shirt, though it was already see-through.

“I have to lie down,” Nikki said. Her skin had turned the color of a tomato and her long dark hair was matted around her face.

“Come on. We’re so close,” Shaila slurred. She held up the second bottle, which was still about a third full. It was impossible to know how much time had passed but Shaila was swaying at that point.

“Are you okay?” I whispered into her ear.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she said. But when I saw her face, her eyes were cloudy and her mouth was slack. She looked right through me.

Actually, everyone was sort of on that level, dipping in and out of reality. Loopy and growing loopier. But Shaila seemed in a league of her own.

“How much did you have?” I hissed.

“I’m drinking for you, remember?” she said, not unkindly. She smiled a little. “That’s what friends are for.” Then she lifted the bottle and took another huge gulp. Her throat moved up and down as the liquid slid into her stomach.

Graham shook his head and grabbed it from her hands. “No, babe. That’s enough.” Then he drained the whole thing and clasped a hand over his mouth to keep it all down.

“Jake!” Robert screamed, banging on the door with the other empty handle. “We’re done!”

“Finally!” Jake unhitched the latch and we tumbled out of the sauna in a tangle of wet cotton and limbs. The air was a relief and we all gasped, trying to suck it down as quickly as possible. Shaila stumbled out last and almost immediately sank to the floor, leaning up against the wall.

“I don’t feel so good,” she said quietly.

“Uh-oh,” some junior Player mumbled. “She’s looking rough.”

Jake squatted down next to her and stared at her hard, then at the rest of us, at me. “She had more than everyone else, didn’t she?”