The Wild Heir(85)

I get up and walk across to the bookshelf which has had the same books in it since I was a kid and pull out the three-volume hardback set of Lord of the Rings.

“Come on,” I tell her, heading over to the bed. I switch on the bedside lamp and climb under the covers.

She gives me a curious look and then comes over and gets in bed beside me, taking the book from my hands. “It’s in English,” she remarks, turning it over.

“It took me years to read the trilogy when I was younger,” I tell her. “Even though they’re my favorite books, I couldn’t understand why I was so slow. Maybe now I do. Anyway, when I finally got through them, I decided to read them again on audiobook. Worked so much better.” I tap the cover of the book. “I bought the English edition when the movies came out. Would you mind?”

“You want me to read to you?”

I nod, feeling uncharacteristically shy all of a sudden. “I think it will help. Transport me to that world for a bit.” I take in a deep breath. “I want to fall asleep to your voice.”

And there it is. I think I just uttered the most vulnerable and nerdy words that have ever come out of my mouth. The Magnus of a few months ago would kick my fucking ass for that. But that Magnus wasn’t a man who was falling in love.

Ella stares at me, not with pity but with this sweetness that does something to my heart, melts it ten times over. “Of course, I’ll read to you.” She clears her throat and starts flipping through the pages. “Prologue. Concerning Hobbits…”

And as Ella reads on, my eyes close and I’m lost.

Not in a racing mind.

Not in the world of Middle Earth.

I’m lost in my feelings for her.

And for the first time, I don’t want to be found.





Nineteen





Magnus





Time flies when you’re having fun.

Time also flies when you’re about to be married and there are million of things left to do, a million places you have to be, a million things you have to say.

The last few weeks have been crazy, or as Einar would say, as sticky as a polar bear’s hairy asshole. I don’t know what those Northerners are doing up there but there are some things I’d rather not know.

In addition to Ella and I being the constant talk of the town and doing countless engagements around the country as well as the regular interviews, Ella is dealing with wedding plans that seem never ending. Even though my mother is still at the helm of all of them and acting like a major Bridezilla, Ella is stressing out pretty hard. She’s taken to drinking a few fingers of scotch with me at night now, which is a long way from those dainty bird sips she used to take.

As for me, I’ve been busy with my own things. For one, I’ve started seeing a psychiatrist. He comes to the house once a week and we go into the study and we just talk things out. I took a few tests for ADHD and passed them with flying colors, which means to say I got about a ninety-five per cent on all of them. I know there’s a spectrum of it all and every individual is different but I’m definitely part of that club.

Honestly, it’s a relief more than a hindrance. I’ve always felt different in countless ways and now I know the reason why. Now I can step back and look at the way I work a little differently. Most of all, I can stop beating myself up and give myself some slack. And just as I’ve gotten hyper-focused and obsessive about certain things before, I’m learning as much as I can about this to come up with a game plan moving forward.

I’m not sure yet if it will include medication, though I’m sure it will as the years go by. For me, exercise, vitamins, meditation and counselling will only go so far. After all, right now my decisions don’t affect the whole country, but one day they will. When that time comes, then I might have to go that route. I just hope I won’t be too stubborn when the moment arises, when I become king. I may be changing in some ways, but at heart, I’m still one stubborn shitbag.

I’ve also started going to the high council meetings with my father. It’s an adjustment for sure—I stick out like a sore fucking thumb among all the politicians and officials—but I’m just trying to soak it all in.

What I’m not trying to do is let myself focus on my father’s health. It’s hard. Even though he’s going to these meetings, I can see him slowly deteriorate and I think the others can too. He’s putting on a brave face and thankfully his wit and warmth is as bold as ever, but it takes a lot out of him. One meeting, and he has to sleep for the next two days.

He hasn’t been doing any public appearances either, though he assured me he will for the wedding. That scares me the most. I don’t want the world to speculate about him, because I know, once they see him they will, and my father doesn’t deserve that. Sure, it comes with the territory of being the king but I’m the one people should gossip about. I’m used to it.

“So, have you talked to your father yet about him walking you down the aisle?” I ask Ella just as the plane’s wheels touch down. Another part of our engagement blitz is having to go to various nearby countries and meet with other royals and leaders. It’s all just public relations, but apparently it must be done.

Thankfully, today is our last day of doing that, and we’re actually visiting a man I call a friend, King Aksel of Denmark. Actually, he might be greeting us as we step off the plane.