The Things You Didn't See(83)
Finally, Victoria yawns and takes herself off upstairs and Daniel begins to clear away the napkins and empty glasses.
‘She’s barely said a word today that wasn’t about Dawn, she can’t wait to see her tomorrow.’ I laugh, as if this weren’t something that cuts my heart in two.
‘Mmm, that’s boarding school, I suppose,’ he says. ‘Strong friendships that last for life. Your mum said that’s why it’s such a wonderful experience.’
So much for that: your so-called friends, Mum, have sent cards but none have offered to help with the funeral. I keep that thought inside. It’s a battle I’ve already lost.
‘Please, Daniel, now will you tell me why you came home in a taxi? I can tell something bad has happened.’ I’m frightened of what he’ll say but I’ve been waiting since he came in, and I can’t wait any more.
‘The police came to the Studio an hour ago,’ he says. ‘They’ve seized my car.’
‘So how will you collect Dawn?’ My first thought, rather than the obvious question. This is how obsessed I am with Monica.
‘I’ve got a hire car arriving in the morning. I didn’t want to change our plans, especially when Dawn’s mum has already collected her from Oakfield.’
‘But why do the police want your car?’ Finally, the right question. ‘What reason could they have?’
‘That’s what I’d like to know,’ he says, taking a deep slug of wine.
DAY 13
THURSDAY 13 NOVEMBER
40
Cassandra
As a watery sun appears, I abandon sleep and take a cold shower in a punishing attempt to wake myself up. I need to be prepared, I can’t be slow today. I have to concentrate.
Daniel comes downstairs an hour later, dressed in his work outfit: a navy polo shirt and jogging bottoms. I see a spot of blood on his chin where he cut himself shaving, and touch it. He holds my hand and kisses my fingers and I realise that for once he’s the vulnerable one. I let him cling to me, and when he pulls away he looks pale. I wonder if it’s because the police have seized his car or guilt because he’s about to betray me. But after today, there will be no more wondering. I’m going to know for certain: I’m going to follow him to Monica’s house.
I have eggs boiling in a pan, the spelt bread is toasted, green tea is poured. It would look like a normal morning scene in an ordinary house, something from a TV ad, unless you could peer inside my suspicious mind.
‘You’re looking better today, Cass.’ He kisses me again, on the lips this time, and I lean into him. He’s resilient, my man, he’ll bounce back quickly. He’s already organised a hire car so he can fetch Dawn, and he’s said nothing more about the police taking his car.
I sneak a glance at him as he begins to eat. ‘What time are you setting off ?’
‘Soon. I want to fetch Dawn and drop her back here before lunch. I have clients to see for the rest of the day.’ He takes the toast from me and begins munching. ‘What are you up to?’
‘Oh . . . I’m seeing the funeral director for the final arrangements, choosing the flowers. Lots to do today.’ I keep my head lowered, pass him a glass of orange juice. ‘You don’t mind going to fetch Dawn? Given that the police . . .’
‘I’m not letting them change our plans, Cass. We carry on as before, okay?’ He downs his juice in one gulp. ‘The least we can do is let Tori have her friend to stay.’ He kisses me goodbye. ‘Look after our girl,’ he says.
We agreed Victoria isn’t going with him, that she’ll stay home to help me instead. That’s my story, but the truth is I don’t want her to be there when I don’t know what will happen, and anyway, her presence would change Daniel’s behaviour. If he’s guilty, I need to see it. And if he’s innocent, then I’ll know I really am sick.
Aware of the seconds passing, I go to the window of the front room to study the hire car. A Pacific-blue Mazda. I can’t see the number plate, but the car has a distinctive fin antenna on the roof. Then I dash upstairs to see Victoria, but she’s still asleep and her door’s locked. I push a message under it, already written, along with a ten-pound note:
I’ll be back later. Call if you need me. Mum xxx
The truth is, I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, but I need to see for myself what Daniel is up to, because of seeing a woman in my home that Halloween, because it was the woman in the photograph on Dawn’s bedside cabinet, because of hearing the name Monica. Because of Daniel’s conversation with Dad about their story.
The can of worms is going to be opened today, whatever it reveals.
By the time I leave the house, the blue Mazda is gone, but there’s only one road out of the cul-de-sac and soon I’m on it, driving fast towards the A12. I glimpse the car tail light, lit on account of the dull day. I keep my lights off, though it would be safer to use them, desperate to go unnoticed. My hands slip on the steering wheel and it’s an effort to keep my breathing steady. I’m frightened of what I’ll discover, but I’ve taken the first step now and I’m not stopping. I pray Daniel doesn’t need anything; if he pulls into a garage, I’ll have no chance of tracking him without being seen, but onwards he drives, so far ahead of me that there are several cars between us. This could be a fool’s errand. I may discover nothing today that helps me.