The Therapist(22)

‘Good idea,’ I say.

‘I don’t suppose you want to watch When Harry Met Sally, do you? I’ve only ever seen it once.’

I laugh. ‘Why not? I could do with something light-hearted.’

Although my mind keeps wandering back to the murder, the film keeps us occupied until Will comes home.

‘Please tell me you’re not hungry,’ Eve says, jumping to her feet and giving him a kiss. ‘Alice and I have been chatting. She’s going to stay the night, isn’t that nice?’

I can see her signalling to Will with her eyes to make him understand that there’s been a bit of a crisis.

Will shrugs off his backpack and puts it down on the floor ‘Very,’ he says, smiling at me. ‘And yes, I’m hungry, I always am after rehearsing all day. Have you two eaten?’

‘No,’ Eve says mournfully. ‘Not even a bag of crisps.’

‘Then how about I make a big bowl of pasta?’

She flings her arms around him. ‘I was hoping you’d say that.’ She turns to me. ‘Will makes the best pasta in the world. His great-grandmother passed down her recipe for the most delicious sauce. You’re going to love it!’

‘Except that if I make it from scratch, it will take two hours,’ Will points out.

‘Oh yes, I forgot about that.’ Eve looks so crestfallen that I laugh. ‘All that simmering to reduce down the tomatoes.’

‘Exactly. So, I’ll make a carbonara, if we have bacon.’

Eve beams at him. ‘We do. Would you like a glass of wine to drink while you’re cooking?’

‘No, don’t worry, I’ll get myself a beer.’ He heads to the kitchen. ‘See you in about twenty minutes.’

The sound of my mobile ringing sends me into a panic.

‘It’s Leo. I can’t speak to him, not yet.’

‘Then don’t,’ Eve says. ‘Send him a text and tell him you’re having dinner with us and that you’ll speak to him later. That will give you time to work out what you’re going to say.’

‘Good idea,’ I say, immediately feeling calmer.

Eve gets to her feet. ‘I’ll lay the table while you do that,’ she says, giving me space. ‘Come when you’re ready.’

I message Leo and when he sends back a cheery OK, have fun! I immediately feel guilty that he has no idea of what I’m going to be saying to him when we speak. I remind myself that it’s not my fault, that he’s the one who hasn’t been upfront but it only makes me feel slightly better.

The good thing about the houses in The Circle being built to the same model is that I know exactly where Eve and Will’s kitchen is. As I walk down the hall towards it, I can hear them talking quietly together and guess that Eve is telling Will why I’m there.

‘Can I help?’ I ask, pushing the door open.

‘Only by joining me in another glass of wine,’ Eve says, taking a fresh bottle from the fridge.

They’ve made a breakfast bar where we have our table. I heave myself onto a steel bistro-style bar-stool, watching as they move around the kitchen together, Will nudging Eve every now and then, pretending that she’s getting in his way. I smile, thinking how good they are together, and then think about me and Leo. Are we good together? I used to think so. Now, I’m not so sure.

We move to the table and while we eat steaming bowls of delicious pasta, I wait for Will to say something about what has happened, and I wouldn’t mind, because maybe he’d have some insight into Leo’s psyche, come up with an explanation as to why he decided to keep something so major from me. But although I’ve relaxed a bit, because Will is brilliant at making me laugh, he doesn’t mention Leo or the murder at all.

Later, as I lie in their pretty guest room, I remember, not long ago, talking to Leo about one of my friends, who had just found out that her husband had gambled all their money away.

‘You should have seen her, Leo, she’s so broken. She doesn’t know what to do, whether to stay with him or leave him. She says all the trust has gone.’

‘What would you do if you were in her place?’

‘If I couldn’t trust you, I couldn’t be with you. And if I couldn’t be with you, life wouldn’t be worth living.’ I had stared deep into his eyes. ‘Do you see how much I love you?’

Back then, I never imagined those words would come back to haunt me. But they have, and worried about the conversation I’m going to have to have with Leo, I’m unable to sleep. He must have thought it strange that I hadn’t called him back but maybe he fell asleep before he realised. Remembering that Ginny called several times, I scrabble on the floor for my phone and send her a holding message:

Leo knew about the murder, Ben told him. I’m with Eve and Will next door. I’ll call you tomorrow xx



I manage to chase Leo from my mind but he’s replaced by Nina Maxwell. It’s hard to stop myself from thinking about what she must have endured but I eventually manage to force my thoughts away from her death, towards her life, and fall asleep wondering what sort of person she was.





Past


‘How are you?’ I ask, smiling. This is her eighth session and we’ve been making excellent progress.

‘I’m good,’ she says. ‘I’m feeling much more positive about everything.’