The Therapist(20)

‘Angry is good,’ Eve says, coming to sit next to me. The smell of her perfume – Sì, by Armani – is oddly comforting. ‘Much better than ill, or sad. Why don’t you tell me what’s happened?’

‘I’ve just found out that our house,’ I thrust my hand towards it, ‘was the scene of a brutal murder.’ I look at her in anguish. ‘I didn’t know, Eve. Leo knew but he didn’t tell me.’

‘Oh, Alice.’ The sympathy in Eve’s eyes is also comforting. ‘I was beginning to think that you might not know. At first, I thought you were one of those people who are able to compartmentalise things, who are able to say “that was then, but this is now”.’

‘I could never be that insensitive. I’m surprised you could bring yourself to talk to me. I’m surprised anyone could talk to me when I didn’t acknowledge the murder, not even to say how sorry I was that you had all lost your neighbour.’

‘No-one was judging you, Alice.’

‘I think Tamsin might have been.’

‘Well, maybe. A bit. Nina was her best friend, so it’s understandable.’ She pauses a moment. ‘The first time she saw you, she thought for a moment that you were Nina. She was standing at her bedroom window and she saw you crossing the square. You’re about the same build as Nina was and from that distance, she could only see your long blond hair. It gave her a bit of a shock.’

I nod distractedly. ‘But why weren’t people judging me?’ I ask. ‘Shouldn’t they have been?’

Eve pushes her hand through her hair. ‘I think everyone was just relieved that the house had been sold, that it was going to be lived in and not standing empty. It had become a bit of a shrine, I suppose, and some of the children began to say it must be haunted, and their parents didn’t want them believing that it was. When we heard that someone had bought it, it was as if a breath of fresh air was coming to The Circle. At last, we were going to be able to move on.’ She looks at me earnestly. ‘People are grateful, Alice. We see it as a new beginning.’

‘Maybe, but we’re not going to be able to stay here now. At least, I’m not. It obviously doesn’t bother Leo.’

‘He told Will it was why he wanted to change it around upstairs, get rid of the room where it happened. He said he wanted to make it easier for you to live there.’

‘Insinuating that I knew about it,’ I say, digging in my pocket for a tissue. ‘And of course, nobody dared mention the murder on Saturday, even though there were plenty who were eager to see where it had taken place. You’d have thought at least one person would have asked me if I was OK living with the ghost of a murdered woman.’

Eve looks uncomfortable. ‘I might have had something to do with that. Leo told Will he’d appreciate it if no-one mentioned the house’s history in front of you as you were obviously sensitive about it. Will told me and I sort of spread the word.’

A memory comes back, of Leo going to see Will, the day after I told him I’d invited people for drinks. ‘I can’t believe it!’ I say, my anger coming back. ‘He really didn’t want me to find out, did he?’ I look at her, hoping she’ll be able to give me an answer. ‘I can’t understand it, Eve. He’s never done anything like this before, he’s never kept anything back, he’s never not told me the truth. And he must have known that I’d find out eventually. It’s not the sort of thing that can be kept a secret.’

‘How did you find out?’ Eve asks, reaching into her bag and bringing out a peaked cap, and using it to fan herself.

‘I got a phone call,’ I say, hoping she didn’t notice my slight hesitation. ‘From a reporter.’ I’m not lying to her because I’m almost sure that Thomas Grainger is a journalist, and changed his job description to private investigator to make it sound more palatable.

She jams the cap on her head, not caring that her sunglasses are caught under it. ‘What did they say?’

‘She asked me how it felt to be living at the scene of a brutal murder,’ I improvise, changing the pronoun to move further away from the truth. ‘When I said that I didn’t know what she was talking about, she told me to google Nina Maxwell.’ That part at least is true. ‘So, I did.’

‘What an awful way to find out.’

I shake my head slowly. ‘I can’t believe Leo knew.’ The memory of how I accused Ben of not telling Leo makes me flinch internally. ‘Leo told the estate agent that I was fine with it because, with the house being cheaper, it meant I could keep my cottage in Harlestone. He made me sound completely heartless.’

She tries to hug me but because of the way we’re sitting on the bench, it’s awkward, and I realise that I don’t know Eve, not really. Do I even know Leo?

‘What are you going to do?’ she asks.

‘I need to speak to Leo but I don’t want to phone him, I need to see his face. He’s back tomorrow evening so I’ll have to wait until then. But I can’t stay in the house, so I’ll go to a hotel.’ I turn to her. ‘Can I ask you a favour, Eve? I need to get a couple of things from the house, would you come with me? I know it’s stupid but I feel a bit funny going in there now.’

‘It’s not stupid and of course I’ll come with you. And you don’t need to go to a hotel, you can stay with me and Will.’