The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane(89)

The weight of the silver on my wrist soothes my spirit, as though I’m setting things right.



* * *



Although Guangzhou is shockingly large by any measure, Deh-ja barely notices because she’s so busy taking care of me. The phrase we Akha use for pregnancy is “one living under another,” meaning a wife lives under her husband and won’t be able to run away. But really, Jin and I are both living under Deh-ja. She’s so bossy! We don’t have a cat, but she reminds Jin at least once a day not to strike or kick one or else our baby will act like a cat when it comes into the world. She forbids Jin to climb trees, which would cause our baby to quake with fear and cry endlessly. (But Jin isn’t likely to climb a tree any time soon.) When I reach five months, she bans him from cutting his hair. But she saves her strictest admonitions for me for even the most minor things. “You were raised to walk at an angle when you carry a baby,” Deh-ja scolds, “so your belly will be less prominent.” I’m careful about that, but it’s hard when so many mothers-to-be walk around Guangzhou in tight T-shirts and leggings, proudly announcing to the world the imminent arrival of their one child.





Dr. Arnold Rosen’s Group Therapy for Chinese Adoptees Transcript: March 1, 2008

*Emphasis has been added in an attempt to accurately show the moods and affect of participants.

DR. ROSEN: I’m glad you young ladies agreed to see me in a group setting. Of course we’ve been meeting individually—some of us for years and some, like Haley, for just a few sessions. Let me go around the room and introduce everyone. Jessica, you’re the oldest at seventeen. Tiffany and Ariel are next at sixteen. And Haley and Heidi will be turning thirteen this year. Who would like to start?

JESSICA: I don’t know why I have to share stuff with a couple of crappy-ass tweens.

TIFFANY: Me either.

DR. ROSEN: Putting the age differences aside, the five of you have many things in common. You all live nearby—in Pasadena, Arcadia, and San Marino— JESSICA: Great, so we’ll get to run into each other on the street— DR. ROSEN: You all have similar educations. You’ve gone to Crestview Prep or Chandler, Westridge or Poly.

JESSICA: I’m intimidated already.

DR. ROSEN: You’re all Chinese— JESSICA: Duh.

DR. ROSEN: And you were all adopted from China.

JESSICA: I still don’t see why they have to be here.

DR. ROSEN: They?

JESSICA: The little girls.

DR. ROSEN: They’re a bit younger than you, but they won’t be afraid to speak up.

JESSICA: You mean, they won’t be afraid to speak up around me. You must have invited them to learn from my bad example. Hey, what are your names again?

HALEY: Haley.

HEIDI: Heidi.

JESSICA: Let me give you my advice and then you can go home to your mommies. Don’t give a random blow job at a house party just because some guy asks for one. Don’t drink your dad’s best scotch if he’s the kind of person who’ll notice a drop missing in the bottle. Actually, don’t drink scotch, period. Don’t bother to self-medicate. You’re seeing Dr. Rosen. He gives way better meds.

DR. ROSEN: Thank you for your input, Jessica. I can see you’re angry— JESSICA: You always say that.

DR. ROSEN: Can you think of another reason why Haley and Heidi are here?

JESSICA: Nope.

HALEY: Maybe you older girls can learn from us too.

DR. ROSEN: What do you mean, Haley?

HALEY: My mom and dad sent me to you because I was having problems with my friends. I’ve had other problems too. Things I don’t like to talk about. Maybe Jessica, Tiffany, and Ariel will hear what Heidi and I have to say and . . . I don’t know. Maybe our lives are like gigantic jigsaw puzzles. You find the right piece and suddenly the whole picture has meaning.

JESSICA: Whoa! Isn’t she the smart one?

HALEY: I bet every person in this room has had to deal with that label.

TIFFANY: I have.

HEIDI: Me too.

JESSICA: I hate labels. I hate the word labels.

ARIEL: Just because we’re Chinese doesn’t mean we’re smart.

JESSICA: Yeah, but the expectation is there. The high school girls know what I’m talking about. God, all the hours I’ve spent going to Kumon, and now I have an SAT tutor. This year I doubled down on extra AP classes. The school called my mom to say they were worried about me. “If she takes all APs then how will she have time for extracurriculars? How will she make friends and become a whole person?” Of course my mom and dad got all worried, but it’s a little late for that, don’t you think? After their pushing . . .

TIFFANY: What’d you say to them?

JESSICA: What could I say? “Working hard makes me happy, Mom. Do I get into trouble, Dad?” And they bought it, because we’ve been in this pattern since Day One. Now it’s going to be all work until I get into college. Debate, tennis, making blankets for the homeless, and all that crap. I’m sticking with my cello lessons too. I’m busy promoting the Asian stereotype!

HALEY: But are your parents Chinese?

DR. ROSEN: Interestingly, you were all adopted by white families.

HEIDI: I’m a super student— JESSICA: Brag about it, why don’t you?

HEIDI: There’s a big difference between bragging and the truth. I’m great at math and all the sciences. I have to play an instrument— TIFFANY: So do I. What do you play?