The Summer Deal (Wildstone #5)(80)

“Yes.”

“That’s not a surprise,” Kinsey said carefully. “That’s a damn secret. A surprise and a secret are two very different things. A surprise is something done out of affection and is based in love. A secret is a lie, based in fear.”

“That’s . . . not how I see it.”

“Okay, so tell me this,” Kinsey said. “Do you have the results yet?”

“No.”

“So if you’d found out you weren’t a match, would you have ever told me?”

Brynn hesitated.

Kinsey’s brows shot up.

Brynn sighed. “I don’t want to answer, on the grounds that it’ll incriminate me.”

“See?” Kinsey said. “Secret.”

At this, Brynn did something that would’ve made Kinsey laugh under just about any other circumstance. She rolled her eyes so hard they probably almost fell out of her head. It was a move Kinsey recognized on a soul level, as she herself had taught it to Brynn. She actually felt proud, but also furious. And a little terrified. “I’m not ever going to take a kidney from you.”

“Deck and I had this conversation, and yes, you will,” Brynn said. “If I have to shove it down your throat myself.”

Kinsey jabbed a finger in her direction. “We’re not doing this, not here, not now. Not ever.” Shaking her head, she pulled out her phone.

“What are you doing?” Eli asked.

Getting myself a one-way ticket out of here. “Calling Deck to come get me. This was a bad idea.” She hit Deck’s number, realized what she was doing just as he answered in that low baritone, and quickly hit disconnect.

Dammit. She was such a chickenshit. She wanted to see him. She’d been wanting to since the day she’d walked away, but she hadn’t known how to reach out. Now, because she was a dumbass who’d acted on sheer emotion, she’d called and hung up. She might as well have shown up on his doorstep and thrown herself at him. Same thing. Worse, she knew Deck, who knew her just as well. He’d consider the hang-up a call for help. She’d just single-handedly set feminism back a good decade by playing the damsel in distress.

This wasn’t the right way to reach out to him. It wasn’t fair and she knew it. So when her phone began ringing with an incoming call—which she knew was him without even looking because her nipples got hard—she sent him to voice mail.

Yeah. A dumbass through and through. At least she was consistent in her failures.

“Sometimes,” Brynn said quietly, “people keep secrets because it’s easier than the hurt and disappointment that knowing those secrets will lead to.”

Knowing Brynn as well as she did now, how badly her sister had been hurt, from childhood bullying to her ex destroying her confidence and self-esteem, most of the fight left Kinsey. She couldn’t help but wonder if she’d known back in summer camp the things she knew now, how everything might’ve gone differently. She’d like to think she’d kick the ass of anyone who was mean to Brynn.

And yes, she got the irony of that statement. But to be fair, she’d been kicking her own ass plenty lately. “Since we’re all mad at each other, we should go home.”

Brynn shook her head. “This is happening.”

Oh, goodie. Her sister really was as stubborn as she was, maybe even more, and that was saying something.

The next hour of the road trip was quiet. Kinsey knew why she was quiet. She was still trying to figure out a way to end this crazy trip. Eli was in his driving zone. And the only reason Brynn was quiet was because she’d fallen asleep.

Clearly she wasn’t burdened with a nightmare trip of her own making. She had no secrets; her life wasn’t exhausting in the way Kinsey’s was.

When Eli pulled off the freeway in Bakersfield and into a gas station, Brynn sat up, rubbing her eyes. “We here?”

Eli pushed her hair out of her face. “Getting gas,” he told her, and got out of the car.

Kinsey followed him. Eli stood at the pump, watching her come around the car toward him.

“So,” she said quietly. “Guess we’re in a bit of a pickle.”

Eli shook his head in disgust. “There’s no ‘we’ in this pickle, Kins. This is all on you.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“You’ve got to tell her. Before we fucking get there.”

“Hello, I tried.”

He rolled his eyes.

“Fine,” Kinsey said. “I know. I will, I promise.”

“And then what?”

“And then what what?”

“Do you have a plan? She’s going to be devastated,” he said.

Like she didn’t know that. “I’m just trying to protect her.”

He didn’t bother with words: he didn’t need to. It was all in his eyes. He was pissed off at her. Well, he could join the club. She was pissed off at herself too. “There hasn’t been a moment to tell her,” she said.

“There’s been more moments than you deserve.”

Absorbing the unexpected hurt of his barbed words, she let out a low, hurt, “Wow.”

Eli slid angry eyes her way and then softened slightly. “Look, I get it,” he said quietly. “You don’t want her hurt. But you went about this all wrong, and now she’s going to pay for that.”