The Romantic Pact (Kings of Football)(100)

I want you to remember this: don’t mistake expectations for passion.

What you expect from yourself—that’s not passion. That’s your brain communicating to you to keep pushing. Passion is a deep-rooted feeling that you can’t shake off. A strong, uncontrollable emotion you have for a particular thing or particular person.

You have a choice in life, this one life you get to live. You can follow expectations, check off the boxes, and accomplish what you or others believe is the path you need to choose.

Or you can follow your passion.

One choice will bring joy to others. The other choice will bring joy to you.

My advice: you have one life to live. Don’t waste it on expectations when you can live joyfully through your passion.

I love you, kid.

Pops

“Fuck,” I whisper, leaning back on my bed and pressing my fingers to my forehead. “Fucking hell.”





Chapter Nineteen





HAZEL





“Knock, knock. Are you in a good mood or are you going to bite my head off?” Mia asks, holding a plate of cookies as she walks into the farmhouse.

“Too mentally exhausted to bite your head off tonight,” I say, staring at the TV in front of me.

“Good. Saturday was touch-and-go with our friendship, and I thought I’d give it one more go before I divorce you.”

Curled up on the couch, I give her a soft smile. “I’m sorry, Mia. I know you’re trying to help. I’m not handling my emotions very well.”

“Understandable, but remember, I’m your friend. I’m here for you, so please don’t attempt to eat me with your lady fangs.”

“I’ll keep it together.”

She hands me a cookie. “You don’t have to keep it together. That’s never fun. Please feel free to lose it. Just keep the abuse to a minimum.”

I chuckle. “You’re making me laugh. I don’t want to laugh.”

“That’s evident from the permanent scowl you’ve been wearing. Word on the street is the pigs have been sending out S.O.S messages seeking help from the demon lady stomping around the farm.”

“Anyone answer their call?”

“A rescue team is flying in tomorrow,” she jokes.

“I’ll prepare myself.” I take a bite of the cookie, and I catch Mia looking at the TV just as the show I was watching comes back from commercials.

Raising a brow, she turns to me. “When have you ever watched ESPN?”

“Whenever Crew played,” I admit. “I loved seeing him on the field, commanding the plays, directing his team. It always came so naturally to him.”

“But he’s not playing right now.”

“The combine is tomorrow,” I say with a sigh. “Wanted to see what they were saying about him.”

“What were they saying?” Mia asks, grabbing another cookie.

“That if he has a good showing like they think he will, he’ll probably be drafted within the first round despite his rocky season.”

“That’s really good news, right?”

I lean my chin against my knees, which are pulled up to my chest. “Yeah, it’s good.”

“So, why do you look so sad? You can’t be sad when you’re the one pushing him away. When you’re the one punishing him for not giving up everything and coming to live on a farm with you. You could be with him, Hazel, but you’re choosing not to be.”

“This farm—”

“The farm isn’t your life, or at least, it shouldn’t be. You’re holding on to memories rather than making new ones.”

“I feel as though I’m giving up on him,” I say, tears welling up in my eyes.

“Giving up on who?”

“Pops,” I say, a tear streaming down my cheek. “He brought me into his life, offered me a place to make home, a job, a family, and then I’m supposed to just throw that all away? They’re going to plow through this land, make it commercial. It’ll be unrecognizable. How am I the only one who cares about that? Pops built this farm from the ground up. We’re just supposed to neglect that and move on because he’s no longer here? Where’s the loyalty?”

“Why did Pops set up the investors, then? He knew what they planned on doing. If it mattered to him, why did he line that all up?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because he wanted to take care of the family in case we couldn’t take care of the farm.” I grow irritated. “What I don’t understand is why I can’t just take care of the farm myself? Why does someone have to be here with me? Did he not trust me?”

Mia sighs and reaches into her back pocket, pulling out a letter. My eyes land on the handwriting and my heart seizes.

“Why do you have that?” I ask.

“Marley gave it to me before she left. She said to give this to you when I thought it was necessary. I think it’s necessary.”

She hands it to me and I quickly snatch it out of her hand but don’t open it.

Sensing I need some privacy, Mia says, “I’ll leave you with your cookies and letter, but I’m coming back tomorrow to check on you. Okay?”

I nod, still staring at the letter while she makes her way out of the house. When the front door clicks shut, I turn the envelope over and open it up.