The Retreat(65)

‘That’s very kind of you, but maybe you should call a dealer. There might be some valuable books among them.’

‘Yeah, that’s what Heledd said I should do.’ He shook his head. ‘It’s weird. Both our parents dying within a week of each other. What are the odds, eh? She’s got the B & B to sort out and isn’t sure if she’s going to carry on running it. She’s talking about selling it and living on the proceeds. I’m trying to persuade her to move in with me.’

‘How long have you and Heledd been together?’ I asked.

‘Twenty years.’

‘What?’ I was shocked.

He laughed. ‘Including the eighteen-year break in the middle. We were together for a year when we were young. We got back together last year. I finally wore her down.’

‘And neither of you have children?’

‘I have, but they live in Cardiff with their mum, my ex-wife. Heledd doesn’t have kids, though. She says this isn’t a good place to raise children.’

The whole thing saddened me. It seemed Heledd had stayed here all these years because of Shirley, and now she was threatening to take off and leave Olly behind.

We drove in silence for a few minutes. We weren’t far from the retreat now.

‘So you have no idea what secret your dad was talking about?’ I asked.

He hesitated, just for a second, before saying no. There was clearly something, perhaps buried deep, a doubt or suspicion. I decided not to push it. He would be thinking about it now. Hopefully it would come to the surface.

‘Maybe I will come to take a look at those books,’ I said as we pulled up outside Nyth Bran.

‘Cool.’ He made a telephone sign with his little finger and thumb – call me – and drove away.



Julia was in the kitchen, sitting at the breakfast counter with a cup of tea, surveying the garden. Dark circles ringed her eyes but the sunlight touched her hair and lit up her face, stopping me in my tracks.

‘It’s rude to stare,’ she said, getting up and coming over. She peered at the bandage on the back of my head. ‘Any bits of brain leak out?’ she asked.

‘No important bits, I don’t think.’

‘Still got the part that contains your common sense?’

‘Oh God, no. That withered and died a long time ago.’

She smiled. ‘Coffee?’

‘It’s okay, I’ll make it.’

‘If you’re sure.’ Julia leaned against the counter. As I filled the kettle and placed it on the Aga, she said, ‘The police were here again, asking questions.’

‘About what?’

‘About you.’

I turned from the Aga. ‘What kind of questions?’

She cradled her tea. ‘They wanted to know about your relationship with Max, how you got on. Snaith had a copy of your novel.’

‘Sweetmeat?’

‘Yeah. He was flicking through it, reading out some of the violent scenes. He asked me if you had shown any signs of aggression since you’d been here. Of course, Ursula had already told them about the time you threatened Max.’

‘Jesus. They can’t believe that was a real threat, surely? What, do they think I killed Max then hit myself over the head with a rock and jumped in the river? That’s nuts.’

‘I don’t know what they think, Lucas. At least the reporters have gone. There was a house fire in Wrexham, several kids trapped . . . I can’t bear to think about it. They’ve all gone there.’

I finished making the coffee, adding two sugars.

‘Where’s Ursula now?’ I asked.

‘In her room. She’s talking about leaving in the next couple of days.’

‘And Suzi?’

‘Same. Looks like you’re going to be my only customer, unless you’re planning on buggering off too.’

‘I doubt the police would let me go, even if I wanted to. But I’m not going anywhere. Assuming that’s okay with you?’

She met my eye. ‘Of course. I want you to stay.’ A wry smile. ‘I doubt I’ll get any more customers coming here after what happened. Not that it matters, anyway. Maybe the whole thing was a terrible idea. I should start illustrating again. Find work. I’ve still got contacts.’

The energy seemed to drain from her body.

‘It feels pointless. All of it.’

‘Julia . . .’

I got up and crossed the kitchen to where she stood. She looked up at me, eyes brimming with tears. I put my hand out, touched her arm. She stepped closer to me. We were inches apart, the silence so heavy between us, the air as thick as tar. She moved closer still.

Time stopped. The world was silent. I touched her cheek and brushed away a tear with my thumb.

She rested her forehead against mine. Beyond the window, a bird called out. Sunshine danced across the kitchen. I closed my eyes and waited for our lips to meet.

Suddenly, I was holding empty air.

I opened my eyes. She was in the doorway, arms wrapped around herself. She was painfully beautiful.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said as she left the room.





Chapter 33

Drowsiness, poor tolerance of light, feelings of disorientation, confusion. I had the full set, but I didn’t think it had anything to do with my head injury. I sat at the desk in my room and tried to figure out what to do next. The police had my laptop so I couldn’t work. I thought about calling DC Hawkins and DI Snaith and demanding it back, but I didn’t want to face more of their questions. If they suspected me, did I need to get a solicitor? Were they going to bring me in for questioning? Nerves chewed at my stomach.