The Real(97)

“You got laid and made another human you are going to have to push out of that virginal vag and chase around for the next four years.”

I cringed.

“It’s not so romantic now, is it? We need to get those hormones under control right now, so we don’t scare the groom away a month before the wedding. And we need to get you in shape to be a late-blooming mommy.”

“Fine, that’s all I need is another coach in the family. I hate you already.”

I strapped on my shoes and looked outside to see Cameron approaching Mrs. Zingaro, who was in one of her trances while watering her freshly planted flowers with the hose Cameron had just installed. I almost tapped on the window to warn him and thought better of it.

Three, two, one.

Cameron was soaked seconds later and caught me laughing in the window above. He narrowed his eyes at me while Jenny apologized.

I gave him my biggest smile before I disappeared and turned to Bree.

“Let me guess. Mrs. Zingaro?”

“Yep,” I said as we walked out into the last of the spring sun.

The grass was a crisp green and the temperature was perfect. My mind flashed with the memory of the leaf I saw fall at Cameron’s back after our first cup of coffee. So much changed after that day.

My whole body flooded with emotion as Bree stood at my front door waiting for me to turn the lock. I looked in the direction Cameron fled from the crazy women his life.

“I love him so much,” I said with a shaky voice.

“Oh . . . my . . . fuck,” Bree exclaimed giving me a thorough once over.

I nodded my eyes widening. “Is this normal?”

“I would say that with you, it will be. Let’s get this going, shall we?”

“Okay, I would do anything for Cameron,” I professed.

She laughed and pulled me in for a hug as I did my best to suck it up. “I know girl, and he will for you too. That’s what it’s all about.”



I married Cameron on a warm Summer night surrounded by candlelight in a little ceremony in Wicker Park. Most of our wedding day I’d suffered from morning sickness and by the time I got to his side, I was ghastly white. He didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he told me I looked more beautiful than ever.

I’m sure my fairy godmother blinded him when I looked my worst. Which meant as I aged I would begin to look like a centerfold. That was good news.

What sucked is that I was sick for half of our honeymoon cruise and only managed to see the sparkling blue water of the toilet. I had two good days out at sea before we called it quits and flew home from Mexico only to end up on my couch watching Netflix and eating take out.

But my husband, my husband, my husband didn’t seem to mind in the least. He assured me we’d do it again someday as long as we didn’t have another ‘oops’ baby on the way. He teased me mercilessly as my pregnancy progressed and despite my fear, he never had an issue handling my hormones.

Once again, my mother was right, because after my lull, my life picked up again and was not slowing down anytime in the immediate future.

So, I got joy out of the little things. And although I took fewer jobs to spend the first few months of my marriage as a wife, life was life, so I prioritized.

Almost seven months to the day I found out I was pregnant I made a much-needed date with my husband.

Cameron’s Mac: Hi. Sorry I’m late. I had to pick up some supplies for my wife.

Abbie’s Mac: You’re married?

Cameron cringed and shot daggers from where he sat.

Abbie’s Mac: Too soon?

He glared at me while I burst out laughing.

Abbie’s Mac: Come on! It was a little bit funny!

Dead green eyes stared back at me before he typed.

Cameron’s Mac: Not even a little.

Abbie’s Mac: Okay let’s see the supplies.

He pulled out two boxes of Milk Duds, my only pregnancy craving.

Abbie’s Mac: Thank you. What else do you have over there?

He pulled out some Ziti noodles and shrugged.

Cameron’s Mac: I called Mrs. Zingaro while I was at the store to see if she needed anything.

My sweet man.

Abbie’s Mac: You’re so wonderful to her and I love you more for it. Anything else?

He pulled out a onesie that read Future King of Woo.

Abbie’s Mac: Did you have that made?

He gave me a slow pride filled nod.

Abbie’s Mac: God I love you. I’m such a shit. Okay, let’s start over.

Cameron’s Mac: Fine. Hi.

Abbie’s Mac: You can’t type Fine. Hi. Try again.

Cameron’s body sagged. “Really?”

Abbie’s Mac: Hey pal, we’re only a few months into this marriage thing. You better give me more effort than that. And you better not ever be mean to me when I’m sick. I heard that’s a thing with married people. And I demand that you have sex with me tonight. I was doing this to open you up to the possibility and try to mix things up, but now I’m just going to put it out there. I’m a wife now, I can demand sex when I want it, right? We need to have sex. I need this baby out of me right now!

Cameron’s full-blown laughter could have been heard for miles. I glared at him in the space between us. My macaroni table at my hip because I was too big to fit in the tight space despite my vigorous workouts. Our son already weighed eight pounds.